Livewire

David Carradine RIP

2009-06-04T10:51:00.004-05:00

At the age of 72, actor and iconic star David Carradine has died in what some are calling at this time an apparent suicide. The cause of death is still under investigation.

Most will remember David as the shadowy "BILL" from Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill" films. I will always remember him as I first knew him: as the wanderer Kwai Chang Caine from the Kung Fu television series.

He was a great actor.
He will be missed.

5 Things to like about the movie "STAR TREK"

2009-05-31T23:13:00.004-05:00

I read the reviews of other movie critics. It is a time honored tradition with me. I read Roger Ebert's criticism of the movie STAR TREK and was slightly perturbed by his less than stellar review of it.

Ever since STAR TREK 2: The Wrath of Khan and TV spin offs like "Enterprise", I have been waiting for this series to redeem itself.

It has been a long wait. After reading Ebert's review, me and a friend went to see the new Star Trek film. I was astounded by how wonderful and fun it was, particularly because I had expected to be bored out of my mind with a wounded, cliched, over drawn plot and wooden acting by youthful and sexy actors new to the franchise. I was wrong and so was Ebert.

I am not an expert, Mr Ebert, but what we have on our hands is a great sci fi film. And here are my 5 reasons why anyone who has not seen it should:

1. The story line, while a bit predictable and self serving, was highly engaging. What do you expect with time travel? For history not to repeat itself. And it doesn't.

2. The Villian: Eric Bana plays Nero a Romulan who goes back in time to destroy Vulcan (and Earth) and avenge the death of his entire planet by killing anyone who gets in his way. A true to life Star Trek Villian if there ever was much like the late Ricardo Montalban's Khan. He runs throughout the film with complete tunnel vision with his only objective being vengeance.

3. The Characters: Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) a young man, half human and half Vulcan, who is as much conflicted with himself as he is conflicted with a young impulsive James Tiberius Kirk (played by Chris Pine). Both young men acted out the rivalry very well. Zoe Saldana plays Uhura very well. She moves between being the no nonsense, object of desire for Kirk and the tender love interest of Spock very well. Her gentleness brought out the humanity in a Spock, a character that is supposed to supress his emotions. Rounding out the cast are Anton Yelchin, Karl Urbin, John Cho and Simon Pegg as Chekov, Dr. "Bones" McCoy, Zulu, and (my favorite from the series) Mr. Scotty respectively.

4. JJ Abrahms. The guy who brought us CLOVERFIELD is apparently like Timex. He just keeps on ticking. He has taken the old and made it new. Hopefully there will be a sequel to this latest venture. I am actually interested in the characters again.

5. Leornard Nimoy. As a 129 year old Spock, the guy still has it.

Deforest Kelley, and James Doohan I think would have been proud of how this movie turned out.

As a fan, I know I am throughly satisfied. Mr. Ebert, this was not a C+ film. I give it an A.

Trailer: Away We Go

2009-03-20T16:28:00.001-05:00

I love John Krasinski. I love writer David Eggers. I love director Sam Mendes. So when I saw the trailer for Away We Go, it was like a threesome from heaven. And throughout the trailer, there are some great additional cast members. This movie looks like the new indie sensation!

Public Enemies Trailor

2009-03-05T17:40:00.001-06:00

5 movies worth renting or revisiting.

2009-02-17T15:16:00.003-06:00

A lot of cinema from 2008 is now available for rental or purchase. And I predict that I will be doing a lot more renting this year. Truthfully, I think I am above the hype of it all, and so far I have not seen anything trailer wise to look forward too.

That said, here is my top 5 reasons to stay home with a rental.

5. Pineapple Express Very Funny film. I could not stop laughing. So much so, that I had too recommend the film to my biggest supporter, my mom. She is going to love the antics of James Franco and Seth Rogan, I am almost sure of it.

4. Jersey Girl Ok Ok. I liked it. It was not Kevin Smith's finest hour, but I do believe the film had a lot of heart. The little girl was adorable, and a liked the clever way Sweeney Todd was included into the plot.

3. The Midnight Meat Train A bloody good show. Atmospherically terrifying and definitely gross. I will never ride an El or Metra Train by myself again. Clive Barker is back in horror and this movie proves it.

2. War Inc. Bizarre characters and an even more plot, though not far fetched. This movie made me think about the nature of what runs our government and the real reasons behind the scenes of things.

1. Zack and Miri This was actually heartwarming. I actually cared what happened to Zack and Miri. The only thing I did not like was that the film seemed to end so abruptly. I mean, do they ever finish the porno? Of course, the movie isn't a Titanic quality star crossed love story. It was to realistic for that bullshit.

Well, thus ends my personal trip down memory lane. What is yours?

Friday the 13th: A Review

2009-02-15T19:18:00.003-06:00

This movie, after all the glorious hype, is an automatic rental. Don't see it in the theaters. Rent it.

That is my ultimate recommendation. Why? Because it regurgitated the same old ideas over and over again with little zeal and even less originality.

Think back to a little movie called SCREAM: What are the 3 rules in order to survive a horror movie? 1. Don't have sex. 2. Don't use drugs or imbibe alcohol. Hell, the only rule "technically" not broken was 3 because no one ever used the words "I will be right back.". But 1 and 2 where broken within the first few minutes of the film.

I could give damn about single character in this film, though I found it odd that Whitney continued to survive, I also found it laughable that she looked like Jason's mother. Obvious plot twist alert.

So where did this leave me? Unamused, unprovoked and not scared.

Positives:

1. The new Jason is very tall, very sleek and wickedly strong. He doesn't walk after his victims, he runs. An unstoppable killing machine at its finest.

2. The music in the film was choice alt rock and one early eighties throwback.

Negatives
1. The saga of the token black character continues with blatantly obvious reverse racism used against his white friends. "What, because I am black, I am not allowed to like Green Day?" I will say the poor bastard did put up a fight. A laughable, predictable, and useless fight and was predictably enough left to die by his white counter parts.

2. The kill scenes are fun to watch, but you see them coming a mile away.

3. I thought Jason might become a more intelligent serial killer Ala' Hannibal Lecter with out the voracious appetite. I was wrong.

Bottom line, if it ain't broke don't try to fix it. But, if you do a remake, please for the love of all that is gross and bloody, REMAKE IT!!!!! Do a Rob Zombie and change up the genre a little bit. Don't be a Michael Bay, throw up on celluloid, and sell it to a hungry public like soilent green. That is just wrong.

Terminator Salvation Trailor

2009-02-05T09:25:00.004-06:00

We have to keep up with the times people. Right or wrong, Christian Bale's rant has gotten more news exposure than this upcoming film. Well, I cry foul. We don't know what he was going through that day last summer or why all the sudden it is coming out now.

I frankly believe that enough is enough. Mia Sara said it best in Ferris Bueller's day off: "It's ok. Sooner or later everyone goes to the zoo." Leave Mr. Bale alone and let him move on with his life. Terminator: Salvation Coming to a Theater near you.

WTF?!: The Loss of Film

2009-01-31T14:43:00.002-06:00

I'm a nerd. I know that. I like black & white movies and use to play Dungeons and Dragons. So my love for vintage things really comes through in my lifestyle. As I returned to film school this week, I realized that I will soon become a part of the workforce come graduation in May, and that terrified me. I don't think I'm ready by any means, but I have no problem jumping in blindly into the inferno that is our economy. Obama, I'm hoping my vote gets me a job.

But in my Edit II class the discussion about shooting films started, where my teacher said film (as in the stock, not the art form) is a dying breed. Everything's going digital now. Why by a print on film of the new blockbuster when you can download it to your digital projector? Now I have to admit, digital does look amazing and is convenient. The image is incredibly clear and it's cheaper overall. It's allowed epics like Che to even get made. But film? That's what I started on at Columbia and the bond it makes with the person is incredibly personal. Shooting on film is your one-shot. You mess up in any way and your film is destroyed. But that's the beauty of it! It's that love/hate relationship that brought me satisfaction with my finished product. Digital film makes it easy, sure, but you can't deny the depth that using film stock gives an image. I really hope my teacher is wrong and film stays around, at least as another option for filmmakers to use.

Review: The Unborn

2009-01-28T21:15:00.002-06:00

While everyone else has their ears turned toward the Oscar Buzz, I decided to go see a film that (more than likely) will never be acknowledged as an actual triumph in cinema.

THE UNBORN is the story of a girl named Casey who almost has it all: a loyal best friend, a loyal boyfriend, and a good life ahead of her. She begins to become plagued by strange nightmares and visions of mortal terror.

Her best friend dabbles in mysticism and tells her the dreams could mean anything. A strange incident happens in which a small boy that Casey is babysitting violently strikes her with a mirror in the face and tells her the ominus words "JUMBY wants to be born now."

JUMBY is a dybbuk (Jewish word for demon) that has assumed the form of her unborn twin brother and is using the girl to enter our world via mirrors.

Casey uncovers family secrets and a curse on her bloodline that dates back to the Holocaust. What began before Casey was born, the dybbuk wants to finish. It wants to use Casey to enter the human world and is willing to go through everyone that is close to her to do that.

At times, this movie reminded me of THE REAPING with Hillary Swank. The stories seemed similar to me in that A) a nonbeliever finds faith in the most harshest possible way and B) a young woman is the focal point in which supernatural events are set in motion. It also had hints of THE RING and THE EXCORCIST in it. I won't say whether this ends well or not.

The film itself was enjoyable. It is the perfect date movie for a quiet dark theater. However, I was not in a quiet dark theater. So, my review for this film is somehow skewed by my memory of little tween girls screaming, belching, farting, giggling, talking, yelling, and being absolutely, completely bitch ass ignorant through out the whole film. But, I digress.

The special effects were choice in this movie. People with twisted heads walking backwards on all fours will haunt my nightmares. Or maybe if I concentrate, they can eat the little tweens that made me waste soda on myself.

I can only wonder.

If I Could've Picked The Oscars.....

2009-01-23T16:45:00.002-06:00

Everybody always complains about the Academy Awards, about how they're voted on by coastal elitists, they never nominate popular movie, etc. Especially this year, having seen 114 2008 relaeases, there were a lot of films that I felt were forgotten. So, at least for the major categories, I've created my own version of the Oscars, the way they should've been. Enjoy, and please comment if you think I'm way off the mark, or if you agree.

(Note: I've left out a lot of films that I personally loved; this is strictly what I think were the best films of last year. Also, some of these are actually nominated. That's because they deserved it.)

Best Picture:

The Dark Knight
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire
Synecdoche, New York
Wall-E

Best Actor:

Benicio Del Toro - "Che"
Frank Langella - "Frost/Nixon"
Leonardo DiCaprio - "Revolutionary Road"
Mickey Rourke - "The Wrestler"
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - "Synecdoche, New York"

Best Actress:

Angelina Jolie - "Changeling"
Anne Hathaway - "Rachel Getting Married"
Kate Winslet - "Revolutionary Road"
Kristen Scott Thomas - "I've Loved You So Long"
Meryl Streep - "Doubt"

Best Supporting Actor:

James Franco - "Pineapple Express"
Heath Ledger - "The Dark Knight"
Mathieu Almaric - "A Christmas Tale"
Ralph Fiennes - "In Bruges"
Robert Downey Jr. - "Tropic Thunder"

Best Supporting Actress:

Elsa Zylberstein - "I've Loved You So Long"
Penelope Cruz - "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Rosemarie DeWitt - "Rachel Getting Married"
Samantha Morton - "Synecdoche, New York"
Tilda Swinton - "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

Documentary Feature:

American Teen
Encounters At The End Of The World
Gonzo: The Life & Work Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Man On Wire
Young @ Heart

Foreign Language Film:

Che
A Christmas Tale
Don't Look Down (No Mires Para Abajo)
Let The Right One In
Tell No One

Initial Reactions To The Oscar Nominations

2009-01-22T10:03:00.002-06:00

First of all, here they are (courtesy of Joblo.com):

BEST PICTURE
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
MILK
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE READER
FROST/NIXON

BEST ACTOR
Sean Penn - MILK
Mickey Rourke - THE WRESTLER
Frank Langella - FROST/NIXON
Brad Pitt - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Richard Jenkins - THE VISITOR

BEST ACTRESS
Meryl Streep - DOUBT
Anne Hathaway - RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
Kate Winslet - THE READER
Melissa Leo - FROZEN RIVER
Angelina Jolie - CHANGELING

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Heath Ledger - THE DARK KNIGHT
Robert Downey, Jr. - TROPIC THUNDER
Philip Seymour Hoffman - DOUBT
Josh Brolin - MILK
Michael Shannon - REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Marisa Tomei - THE WRESTLER
Amy Adams - DOUBT
Penelope Cruz - VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
Taraji P. Henson - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Viola Davis - DOUBT

BEST ANIMATED FILM
WALL-E
KUNG FU PANDA
BOLT

BEST DIRECTOR
Danny Boyle - SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
David Fincher - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Stephen Daldry - THE READER
Ron Howard - FROST/NIXON
Gus Van Sant - MILK

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Simon Beaufoy - SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
Eric Roth - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Peter Morgan - FROST/NIXON
John Patrick Shanley - DOUBT
David Hare - THE READER

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Courtney Hunt - FROZEN RIVER
Dustin Lance Black - MILK
Martin McDonough - IN BRUGES
Mike Leigh - HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
Andrew Stanton and Jim Reardon - WALL-E

BEST ART DIRECTION
CHANGELING
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
THE DUCHESS
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
CHANGELING
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
THE READER
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
AUSTRALIA
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DUCHESS
MILK
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
THE BETRAYAL
ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD
MAN ON WIRE
THE GARDEN
TROUBLE THE WATER

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
"The Conscience of Nhem En"
"The Final Inch"
"Smile Pinki"
"The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306"

BEST EDITING
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
FROST/NIXON
MILK
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE BAADER MEINHOF COMPLEX
THE CLASS
DEPARTURES
AUSTRIA
WALTZ WITH BASHIR

BEST MAKEUP
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
DEFIANCE
MILK
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
WALL-E

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"Down to Earth" - WALL-E
"Jai Ho" - SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
"O Saya" - SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

BEST ANIMATED SHORT
"La Maison de Petits Cubes"
"Lavatory - Lovestory"
"Oktapodi"
"Presto"
"This Way Up"

BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT
"Auf der Strecke (On the Line)"
"Manon on the Asphalt"
"New Boy"
"The Pig"
"Spielzeugland (Toyland)"

BEST SOUND EDITING
THE DARK KNIGHT
IRON MAN
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
WALL-E
WANTED

BEST SOUND MIXING
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
WALL-E
WANTED

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
IRON MAN
THE DARK KNIGHT

Okay. Now, most of you know how I felt about "The Reader," so let me just say that, in year when "The Dark Knight," "Wall-E," "Doubt," "Gran Torino," "Synecdoche, New York," "Revolutionary Road," "The Wrestler" and "Changeling" could have been in the spot, they picked the most heavy-handed, criminally overrated movie to go in instead. Incredible.

I'm actually really surprised to see such a snub for "Revolutionary Road" too. I mean, really surprised. I figured that would be one of THE heavy favorites. Apparently, when I said it'd be too depressing to make it in, I was right. I still think it should've been nominated. Not won, but nominated.

Glad to see "Slumdog" in there, I'd say it's the definite favorite out of those five. "Reader" excluded, all the nominees are quality films. I thought "Milk" would suffer from a lack of buzz, so I'm pleasantly surprised to see that it made it through. "Frost/Nixon" was impeccably acted, though Michael Sheen should be up for something. He's onscreen more than Langella is.

The Springsteen song from "The Wrestler" should've been nominated. Like, this is not up for debate. And since when did "Best Original Song" go from five nominations to three? Last year, we sat through three different numbers from "Enchanted."

Also: Not that anybody's going to beat Ledger, but RDJ being nominated for "Tropic Thunder" is fantastic. The definition of a supporting role is a role that stands out despite less screen time, and that movie would've totally blown without him. He carried it, and it's good to see him nominated.

All in all, a mostly decent crop. But "The Reader"? Boo.

Review: The Reader

2009-01-13T12:14:00.002-06:00

As promised yesterday, here's the explanation for my rage-filled burst against Kate Winslet's Golden Globes win for "The Reader." Now, don't get me wrong. She's excellent in it, but the film is far from excellent, and I have an issue with terrible films winning awards for good performances. Is that unfair? Maybe. However, when films win awards, people seek them out and see them. That's the problem. "The Reader" is an insult to everybody's intelligence, because it's made to look a lot more provocative and intelligent than it really is.

The premise appears to go deeper than it truly does. Michael (David Kross) is a young man living in pre-WWII Germany. One day, he collapses while attempting to return home from school, and a mysterious woman helps him. He returns to her apartment months later to bring her flowers and thank her, but sees her getting dressed. He can't help but watch, and she gets angry. He makes good with her, and they end up having an affair. At the end of their summer together, she disappears. Heartbroken even years later, Michael goes off to law school, where his class goes to observe a Nazi war crimes trial. Lo and behold, Hanna (Winslet) is on trial as a guard at Auschwitz who let 300 Jews die in a burning church. There's also a lot of jumping back to the present, where a grown Michael (Ralph Fiennes) is recalling these events.

The film has an intriguing premise, and starts intrestingly. Kross and Winslet are nude for quite literally the first half of the movie, having sex pretty much the entire time. You can see why the Weinstein Company put the film out; not a lot of other studios would take on a film this sexually charged. The trouble, however, is that there's no eroticism to their sex. It could be argued that this is to illustrate the detachment of Hanna, I understand that completely, but no filmmaker fills half his film with sex purely to make a point. That much onscreen sexuality is designed to shock and tittilate, I'm sorry.

Then, there is The Turn. I've been referring to it with such capital-letter drama ever since I bought it. If ever there was an example of a film's revelation killing the movie instantly, this is it. I actually figured it out about twenty minutes in, but I was dearly hoping I was wrong. The twist, which I'm not going to spoil, is supposed to be a heartbreaking shock designed to connect Michael and Hanna through a lifetime, and a game-changing secret that could save her from going to prison, but instead it's just silly. I mean, laugh-out-loud ridiculous, especially when the film plays it with a completely straight face.

I understand that there is a market for this film, and I know people who have thoroughly enjoyed it. I'll be the first to admit that this isn't my kind of film. Like I said about "Doubt" a few weeks ago, the film is designed to grab at awards and devastate a very specific audience, and just so my words aren't misunderstood, that audience is high-minded filmgoers who don't really attend movies to enjoy them anymore. The truth is that this film isn't aggravating, or provocative, or any other adjective. It's not really memorable enough to warrant such terms.

An Additional Thought Regarding The Golden Globes

2009-01-12T13:43:00.001-06:00

In response to Jacqueline's post below, let me just ask one other question:

Was Sally Hawkins drunk when she accepted her award for Best Actress?

For that matter, were Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman as well?

I really wish alcohol was part of the Oscars.

(Oh, and I'm really disappointed Kate Winslet won for "The Reader," not because I don't like her in it. The movie was shit, and I was hoping it'd just fade into obscurity. More on that tomorrow.)

The Golden Globes 2009

2009-01-11T20:38:00.004-06:00

The Award show was predictable (in my opinion) and pleasantly surprising. With Heath Ledger, posthumously, winning his best actor award for his role as the Joker in Dark Knight to 30 Rock's Tracy Morgan as the new face of post racial America (God help us).

Full of humble acceptance speeches, none more so than Kate Winslet's for her supporting actress role in the Reader. It was evident that Sydney Pollock's loss was felt by all who had worked with him. And Winslet also won for her best actress role in Revolutionary Road, upsetting the favorites Meryl Streep and Angelina Jolie. Well, in all fairness, they were happy for her, but in my mind, all awards go to Meryl Streep. I like her that much.

Slum Dog Millionaire, a movie I plan to see, did win for best screenplay and I sense that was a possible upset in that category.

The Cecile B. Demille Honoree for the evening was Steven Speilberg. His career has spanned the whole of my movie watching life and some of his best works (JAWS, BAND OF BROTHERS, ET., AI, WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT, etc.) are always worth revisiting.

In his acceptance speech, (I am paraphrasing) Spielberg said that while we strive to make movies for broader audiences that Hollywood's elite and non-elite should remember that they are a group of individuals that inspire each other. I automatically remembered those theatre people being labeled as weird in high school and then remembered how proud I was to count myself among them.

The Best director award went to SLUM DOG MILLIONAIRE'S Danny Boyle. (I have really got to see this film). The award that Pineapple Express's James Franco was up for went to Colin Farell for IN BRUGES. Colin stuttered during his rambling speech, but was surprisingly humble and very serious.

Other winners were

Best Film Musical or Comedy: Vicki Christina Barcelona

Best Actor in a Film/Drama: Mickey Rourke (And I hear that no one deserved it more.)

Best Film/Drama: Slum Dog Millionaire

I smell Oscar for some of these. We can only wait and see. I am not an expert. I am just a random blogger with time.

Mad Men won over my beloved True Blood for best tv drama. That sucked. But Anna Paquin won best actress for her role in True Blood, so that makes up for it in a way.
A lot of people say that Anna Paquin can't carry a lead role. I say, how could the Hollywood foriegn press be wrong?

Review: Revolutionary Road

2009-01-10T15:33:00.002-06:00

There's a small assortment of films out there that I've found over time deserve their own subgenre, which I have cumbersomely titled "Great Films That Should Never Be Watched More Than Once." For example, as powerful as "Requiem For A Dream" is, do you really want to watch it repeatedly? The latest addition to this category is "Revolutionary Road," Sam Mendes' latest assault on the oppression and banality of suburban life after he won Best Picture for "American Beauty" eight years ago.

The film is the story of the Wheelers, April (Kate Winslet) and Frank (Leonardo DiCaprio), and their rapid decline into a profound loathing of each other. They start off like a couple we've all known, talked to, been parented by, etc. They meet, young and idealistic, after locking eyes from across a crowded room. She tells him "You might be the most interesting man I've ever known." Love blossoms, and soon they are married and moving out of the city to raise a family. In one of the film's cruelest touches, we don't get the comfort of seeing them in better times. Soon, the gravity of living in the suburbs and being just like everybody else begins to weigh heavily on both of them.

April has a plan, however. They'll move back to Paris. After all, Paris is where Frank was happiest in his youth, so they can go back. She'll even work as a government secretary so that he can find himself. It's a perfect plan, one that will save their marriage and allow them to be the people that they want to be, instead of the people they've become. Needless to say, not everything goes according to plan. The trouble with reviewing a film of this nature is that it is, above all other things, a character study, and so revealing anymore would tarnish the impact of the performances, which are the center of the film.

As performances go, this film features what may very well be the year's two best. DiCaprio and Winslet are both absolutely brilliant. They are so filled with hope early on that when things go south, we feel every moment of their pain, we are stung by every venomous barb they throw at each other. Winslet is especially impressive; in "The Reader," also in theaters now, she looked like she was sleeping through the film. Here, she is fearless. In her hands, April is sympathetic even as she does increasingly bad things without a hint of repentance. She fell in love with a man for all the things he once was and no longer is, and this has caused a massive upheaval of her existence; after all, we all know what happens when you make one thing your entire life and that single thing fails you in the long run.

Frank, however, is every bit as devastated. Unlike April, he feels as though he has to keep his cards hidden close to the chest. As the man of the family, he must provide and keep a level head. When he begins to feel as though April is emasculating him, he must subsequently find ways to make himself feel truly like a man again. He must also find a way to understand April, but what he cannot see is that she is beyond understanding. They are two people not made for each other, and have been together too long to overcome this.

The casting of these two in particular, I think, is quite cruel. After all, the last film they starred in was "Titanic," the highest-grossing film of all time. More importantly, in that film they played Jack and Rose, possibly the most iconic lovers in cinema history. (I've personally always preferred Rick and Ilsa, but that's just me.) Because of this immediate association with the undying power of true love, watching them rip each other to shreds in this film attains an entirely different level of devastation besides the obvious.

I often have trouble speaking highly of movies like this, because going back to the beginning of this review, it's difficult to say that I enjoyed a movie this depressing. Then, however, I think of something Roger Ebert said when he reviewed "The Weather Man," a criminally underrated film that also serves as a dark character study: "No good movie should ever be called depressing." "Revolutionary Road" is a good film, though not a great one. The sterility of everything around the Wheelers feels a bit forced; though I know Mendes meant to further illustrate the central concept, it's a bit much. It's good enough to deserve the likely Best Picture nomination, I can say that. Will it be relevant years from now? To some, sure, but not to all. I can see the same people who hated "American Beauty" disliking this film, and I personally preferred the former.

A DR. STRANGE MOVIE?????

2009-01-09T11:50:00.002-06:00

This is just a rumor off the web true believers, but a possible Dr. Strange movie could be in development for the year 2012.

Directed by Guillermo Del Toro and Scripted by (none other than) Neil Gaman.

I am so excited.

For those of you that don't know, Dr. Strange is Marvel comics "Sorceror Supreme". All around, he is probably one of the most read Marvel Comic book characters.

I expect a tour de force script with mind bending special effects out the wazoo for this one. But, I have to wait. Damn it.

I hope to all the powers in the Universe that this is not a rumor.

The Best Movies Of 2008: #10-1

2009-01-06T17:02:00.005-06:00

Continuing yesterday's list, the top ten films of 2008:

10. Cloverfield - One of the philosophies of filmmaking that I buy into the most is the idea that any film can be as strange as it wants, as long as it plays by the rules of the universe it's created for itself, so that it all makes some kind of sense when the end credits roll. To this end, "Cloverfield" is absolute genius. Its central conceit is the reason a lot of people hated it: One man's shaky hand-held camera captures their attempts to escape New York City as it's being laid to waste by a gigantic monster of some kind. The characters are human; they crack bad jokes, bicker and worry about seemingly pointless things. Wouldn't you go running to find your significant other in a time of crisis, even if it was a foolish and potentially life-threatening knee-jerk reaction? Because of the nature of the film's narrative, there's no scientist appearing to offer helpful exposition midway through the film; this also helps, as there's no comfort zone to hide within. The film is sheer survival terror for all of its 85 minutes, which in and of itself is novel. When's the last time you saw a major Hollywood release run under an hour and a half and work?

9. Synecdoche, New York - The first time I watched "Synecdoche," my mind was absolutely blown. I knew I'd just watched a frustrating, confounding work of genius that's impossible to process on a single viewing. About three weeks later, I saw it a second time, and this time was deeply aggravated that it hadn't yet revealed all its secrets and explanations to me. Only upon further reflection did I finally understand what Charlie Kaufman said about the film, that it's meant to be felt, rather than explained. If you embrace that idea, it's one of the most haunting films released in the past few years. On the most basic level, it's about a director (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) who tries to re-create life itself in a play and fails. Really, it's a tale of the dangers of playing God, the power of lifelong love, the agony of regret, the ability of a single event to be equally comic and tragic, the dangers of becoming consumed with one's art and about a million other things. All these ideas build to the bleakest of climaxes, but for as tragic as this film is, I think the Onion's A.V. Club hit the nail right on the head: "At the least, it's likely to be challenging viewers long after most of this year's Oscar-bait has been forgotten."

8. My Winnipeg - A movie that is beyond strange, "My Winnipeg" is the result of the highly questionable decision of the titular Canadian city's tourism board to ask notoriously strange director Guy Maddin to write and direct a documentary on his hometown. In a sense, it is a documentary, but only if the term can be applied to a movie that's based partly in urban legend, partly in fantasy and occasionally in actual events. As Maddin feverishly narrates the film, imagining the intersection of major rivers as the space between a woman's legs and asserting that all major city streets are named after famous prostitutes, there seems to be nothing but hate on his part towards his hometown. This couldn't be further from the truth. As he tries to fight the town's natural lulling properties long enough to leave, he remembers being born in the old Winnipeg Jets' NHL arena and living above a beauty salon, picnicking on a lake filled with dead, frozen horses and stumbling into a school filled with hazardously beautiful teenage girls. Beneath the bizarre animation sequences and the re-enactments of events that may or may not have actually happened, there's a genuinely moving love letter to not only Maddin's hometown, but to the universal idea that we can go wherever we may in life, but whatever place is home to us exerts an irresistible pull, which for all our hate or disregard cannot ever be escaped.

7. The Wrestler - I'll avoid talking about the genius of Mickey Rourke's performance as Randy "The Ram" Robinson, because every other critic under the sun has been lavishing him with word-jobs ever since this film won the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival. He's phenomenal, as is Marissa Tomei as his pole-dancing love interest (though I have to wonder if she plans on being naked in every film she stars in from now on, not that I have complaints), but the real magic of "The Wrestler" is its unwillingness to judge professional wrestling in the way everybody from Congress to elitists have over the years. The film features a host of actual wrestlers and nails every detail, down to the calling of moves during matches and the verbiage used. It also illustrates Robinson as a representation of several ex-wrestlers I've read about over the years, who so desperately tried to cling onto their prior spotlight that they sunk into various addictions, squandered their riches and either disappeared or up and died. That the film makes a sympathetic, honest character out of Robinson is a near-miracle. That it does the same for wrestling, in a film made for the sort of viewers and critics that have dismissed it as redneck for the past few decades is nothing short of incredible.

6. In Bruges - The film starts off by posing the question that we all wonder: "Where the fuck is Bruges anyway?" The answer? "It's in Belgium." As it turns out, Bruges is a quiet little medieval town filled with history and nighttime beauty and wonder; basically, hell on earth for Ray (Colin Farrell), as well as Ken (Brendan Gleeson, best known as Mad-Eye Moody in the fourth "Harry Potter" film), who gets the thankless task of trying to corral the petulant, borderline-sociopathic Ray while they lay low on the orders of their boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes) after an assassination goes horribly wrong. The film, directed by oddball Irish playwright Martin McDonaugh, starts off as a black comedy and ends purely black. As Ray and Ken negotiate an increasingly strange scenario involving some terrifying medieval artwork, a mysterious woman, a dwarf with a penchant for hard drugs and eventually a hilariously pissed-off Harry, the film descends into madness, and never once does it misstep. There's no attempts to make these characters sympathetic, just some explanation for why they are the way they are, and the situation doesn't allow for any epic third-act redemption. The Golden Globes recognized this film, which given its early February release is a shock, but a wholly welcome, and deserved one.

5. Let The Right One In - This Swedish vampire film has unfortunately been reduced to being named the anti-"Twilight" by a lot of people, including me. It's so much more than that. It's at once a touching love story and the year's best horror film, tender and bracingly violent often in the same scene. If you've seen it, I have the final scene in mind while making that claim. A lot of analyses of the film have rendered the story far bleaker than what it really is; boy meets girl, boy finds out girl is a vampire, boy and girl tentatively become close regardless, violence ensues. As a parable about the awkwardness of adolescence, it's great. As a vampire movie, it's even better. The title is derived from the old bit of vampire lore about how they have to be invited into someone's home and cannot enter on their own. We are shown in graphic detail what happens when they break this rule, and it's terrifying. Of any foreign film released this year, this one probably had the best chance to catch on with a wide audience. It never got a fair shake, though, so one can only hope it finds further life based on its DVD release in the wake of all the top 10 lists that it's been featured on.

4. The Dark Knight - What is there to say about this movie that hasn't been said, honestly? I'm not even going to give it a full paragraph, because I could talk all day about how Heath Ledger may have created the greatest screen villain of all time with the Joker, about how it's forever changed the way superhero movies can and should be made, how it's an all-too-timely tale of greed, redemption and the battle between light and darkness, and so on and so forth. I'll just say that you know a film is great when the best argument contrarian critics can bring against it is that it's not as good as everybody says. At this point, it's become an Untouchable on the level of "The Godfather." You see where it ranks on my list. Make of that what you will.

3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - My biggest issue with last year's "Knocked Up" is that it lacked the timelessness that a comedy needs to be great. "Superbad" was on my top 10 last year, but on repeat viewings, the Tourettes-tastic non-sequiturs wear just a little bit thin. "Sarah Marshall," on the other hand, and I say this next part without the slightest hint of hyperbole, might be one of the single funniest movies I've ever seen. The opening breakup sequence alone is the stuff of immortal comedy, but the film's leisurely pacing allows for us to fall in love with Peter (Jason Segal), understand both why Sarah (Kristin Bell) is so hard to get over and so necessary to do so and become engrossed in what's really a slice-of-life story. Not one supporting performance misses a step, not one joke falls flat. Amidst all the hilarity, though, there's a lot of painful reality to this movie that hits uncomfortably close to home for anybody who's ever had their heart broken. The scene in which a drunken Peter pounds out a garbled, half-cried version of the Muppet Show theme song on a piano in his hotel room might be the loveliest single sequence in any movie released this year, because on one level it's hysterical, and on another we all see somebody we've known or been doing the exact same thing.

2. Wall-E - Back when I did my beginning-of-summer movie release roundup, I said that "Wall-E" had the potential to forever change the way animated films are made and viewed. Even with that level of expectation going in, I was absolutely floored and took about a week to fully process the absolute genius of Pixar's masterpiece. The thing is, Wall-E isn't just a romantic hero, he's every romantic hero. He's the grizzled soldier in every cinematic war epic who fought his way home to be with his beloved, he's the awkward teenager who just wants to be loved, he's the doe-eyed poet who struggles to win over a tough-edged love with sentiment. When he ends up in a futuristic world that hits a "Brazil" level of future-shock terror in its own G-rated way, we cheer for him. No other filmmakers besides the Pixar think tank could get away with releasing a film in which the first third features next to no dialogue. The scene in which EVE's security camera footage kicks on and she sees Wall-E suffering endlessly to protect her is an absolute tearjerker on the highest level.

1. Slumdog Millionaire - Numbers 2 and 3 on this list both came extremely close to being at the top. After thinking heavily about it, and re-watching all three films, there was only one film that I could name the best film of 2008, and that's "Slumdog Millionaire." Danny Boyle's fairy tale about a boy's journey through the life of an impoverished hustler brims with danger and gritty realism around every turn, but it's also a sweeping romance and an ode to the larger-than-life attraction of the world to game shows and any other escape from everyday life. The film is a love letter to both Bollywood filmmaking and India itself, timely when Mumbai is fresh in peoples' minds as the site of fevered violence. It's also a film to be loved by anybody struggling through life; the previous generation had "Scarface," and so I think in time this generation will have this film. The narrative smoothly glides from hilarious to nail-bitingly tense, devastating to standing-ovation-level joyous without ever ringing false. Years from now, when people look back on 2008 as a major year for movies, I'll be proud to say that a little Indian movie about "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" was the most unforgettable of them all.

The Best Films Of 2008: #20-11

2009-01-05T20:11:00.002-06:00

I sometimes hate making year-end best-of lists, because I feel as though I'm cheapening the films. However, taking stock of the year's best is all too necessary, so that others might catch up on what they missed. Bearing in mind that every film on this list would be a 3 1/2 - 4 star film, here is first half of my list of the best films of 2008, in descending order:

20. A Christmas Tale - Arnaud Desplechin's film about a beyond-fractured family reconvening for one final Christmas together when they discover that the matriarch (Catherine Denueve) is dying works on a myriad of levels. It works as a fractured family story in the vein of "The Royal Tenenbaums," as a holiday comedy, a dark comedy and even a meditation on the fragility of all bonds and the power of misguided grudges. Dropping the pretense, though, it's also just an impeccably acted, touching film, with Mathieu Almaric the standout performer in a film full of them, as the manic-depressive oldest son who storms the reunion like a drunken, bug-eyed hurricane. His toast to his dying mother at Christmas dinner is an absolute showstopper.

19. Australia - Even if you didn't like Baz Lurhmann's attempt to direct his own "Gone With The Wind," credit must be given where it's due. Right down to the cheesy dialogue, he absolutely nailed the vibe and style of a Golden Era Hollywood epic, and for the flaws this film has, it's also breathtaking to watch such a passion project come to life. Nicole Kidman is the most likable she's been in any film since Lurhmann's "Moulin Rouge" as the spirited English lady who travels to the savage Australian outback to retrieve her womanizing husband, and Hugh Jackman is the perfect foil, nailing the old-style tough guy role to a T. There's a twinkle in his eye during every scene, which should normally be decried as poor acting, but is authentic to what the film sets out to accomplish. The film was called racist for depicting aboriginal natives as shamen, but it's supposed to not only be a homage, but a testament to the power of fantastical storytelling. When did every movie start having to be taken so damn seriously?

18. Repo! The Genetic Opera - And now, the year's most undeservedly maligned movie. From the moment that Paris Hilton was cast, the writing was on the wall. Critics trashed the film just for her presence (take a look at the incredibly intelligent argument Rolling Stone's Peter Travers makes against the film) and Lionsgate pretty much dumped the movie in theaters. The public took it over from there, and so this delirious acid trip of a musical (or, I'm sorry, rock opera) featuring Alexa Vega from "Spy Kids" as the dying daughter of Anthony Stewart Head (Giles on the "Buffy" TV series) in a future run by an organ-lending corporation found new life. Look for this film on the midnight show circuit for years to come; if the showings I've attended are any indication, "Repo!" might just be this generation's "Rocky Horror Picture Show."

17. Frost/Nixon - Though Ron Howard's dramatic retelling of the famous post-Watergate TV interviews between David Frost (Michael Sheen) and Richard Nixon (Frank Langella) does embellish some facts, so do most biopics. Once you look past this, you find one of the year's best-acted films. Sheen plays Frost as he was, an English fish in American waters who set out to become an international celebrity and ended up delivering one of the most cathartic moments for the American public in history. Langella is stunning as Nixon, imbuing him with the quiet sadness of a man who was forced to cope with being caught red-handed and losing the notoriety associated with being the most powerful man in the world. The phone conversation between the two near the end of the film should be shown to theatre students as an example of dynamic acting that doesn't require theatrics to be memorable.

16. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Rarely does an American film move at such a measured, quiet pace without attempting to slam the audience with awe-inducing plot turns in the third act. David Fincher's last film, "Zodiac," did this, and he does it again here. The story of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt), a man who is born elderly and ages in reverse, is reminiscent of "Forrest Gump" in the way that the overarching point of the tale is not where the journey of life leads, but how you spend that journey and the things you learn along the way. Cate Blanchett, as Button's lifelong love, is sad-eyed and beautiful; the film's climax, when they are both aged in their own way, is among the year's most poignant.

15. Gran Torino - Clint Eastwood's rumored last film as an actor is an appropriate swan song for the longtime tough guy, a tale of violent redemption and a musing on the importance of passing the torch to the next generation, the right way. Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski as the 70-year-old version of Dirty Harry Callahan and The Gunslinger combined; he's ornery, racist and refuses to cave to the changing times, even as they threaten to overtake him. Through a pair of Hmong children living next door, Walt finds his means of making an impact on the lives of the young that he never found with his own family. A local priest (Christopher Carley) charged with watching Walt after his wife's death also learns something about the nature of life and death through him.

14. Tell No One - This French thriller about a man being pursued by police after mysterious emails from his long-dead wife begin to surface deserves all the comparisons to the greater works of Alfred Hitchcock that it's recieved. There's a plot turn seemingly every two or three minutes, but at no point does the film allow itself to fall into logical holes; all is explained at the end, and when you leave the theater, all the convolutions make perfect sense. There's also the twenty-minute chase scene on foot, which begins with a man jumping out of a window and ends in a full-blown gang riot, that instantly establishes itself as one of the most compelling action sequences in recent memory. If it seems as though I'm being cryptic in my praise of this film, it's deliberate; the less you know about this film going in, the more satisfying it is.

13. The Band's Visit - For a quiet film about the unceremonious arrival, occupation and departure of an Egyptian police band from a tiny town in Israel over the course of a day, there's a lot going on here. This doesn't become clear until the film is further reflected upon, but few films this year had a bigger heart. As the inhabitants of the town's local cafe take the band in for a night, the film allows us into their lives, which are filled with banality and melancholy. We see the dreams of both involved parties briefly come alive again through one another, and though we are never told whether this has any real effect, that's not the point. Like a chance meeting on a train or a conversation in a smoky bar, the most unseeming moments in life are sometimes the most memorable.

12. Man On Wire - Watching this film, I couldn't help but wonder how Phillipe Petit isn't dead today. In 1974, he strung a tightrope across the Twin Towers, aided by a motley band of dreamers and burnouts, that wasn't even set up properly, and yet he spent nearly 45 minutes strolling back and forth, even pausing to lie down on it at one point. The film, a wild documentary about the event, is composed of photographs, re-enactments and narration from all those involved. It's also absolutely riveting; so much so, that when we see the first pictures of Petit stepping out onto the wire, we are convinced that he's about to meet his demise, forgetful of the fact that he's been narrating the entire film up to that point.

11. Zach and Miri Make a Porno - Should this film be this high on my list? Maybe, maybe not. Being that such lists are of a subjective nature, I was pressed not to put it even higher. The story of Zach (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks), lifelong platonic friends who shoot a porn film in a coffee shop to bail themselves out of severe debt, is potentially the best film Kevin Smith has ever made, in a long line of them. I might have a soft spot for both "Clerks" and "Chasing Amy," but this film takes the go-for-broke audacity of the former and the genuine heartwrenching realism of the latter and combines the two into something truly beautiful. There are still dick jokes and naked women galore, but "Zach and Miri" manages to do something that few comedies do: Not only does it make you laugh, but it genuinely might teach you a thing or two about life and love.

Coming Tomorrow: #10-1.

Watchmen featurette

2009-01-05T14:27:00.001-06:00

I kind of respect Zac Synder after seeing this:

WTF?!: Hotwheels movie

2009-01-05T12:34:00.003-06:00

I feel bad about not posting as much. Between the three writing jobs I have, my real job, and my overall laziness I forget to let the world know about the awful shit that people are trying to release. But never fear! I am back with a new atrocity to film.

Mattel has announced that they would like to produce a movie based on their popular toy Hotwheels. You know, those small-ass cars that are fun for a while but then you just end up stepping on them everywhere? Although no set ideas have been made as far as plot goes, Mattel is starting preproduction soon. I'm not sure how this movie would exactly work. Transformers and G.I. Joe have a built-in plot. There's conflict, villainry, and action. What the fuck to Hotwheels do? Mattel says they don't want the cars to talk a la Knight Rider, so anything cool and robotic like that is out. As far as I remember, I just put the cars on those tracks you could buy and let them flip around and do loops and shit. Is that going to be the movie? Just some handsome fella (I say maybe Zac Efron?) putting cars on elaborate tracks and letting them crash into each other? JoBlo had some good ideas for other toy-based movies that are worth a look.

But regardless, WTF?!

The Best Films of 2008: Honorable Mentions

2009-01-04T19:55:00.002-06:00

Today I'll be kicking off my year-end roundup of the best films of 2008. Having seen over 100 films released last year, I feel like I got a pretty good idea of the good, the bad and the downright ugly (For the latter, see my "Worst Movies of 2008" post below) that I can sum up the year's best. However, due to the fact that there were so many good films this year, I can't just do a standard top 10 list. As it turns out, I can't even manage a top 20, because there were more films beyond my favorite 20 that I felt compelled to write about. Therefore, over the next three days I'm planning on rolling out the best films of the year, starting today, with the honorable mentions to my top 20.

(Note: Of the major films of the year, I've seen all except for one: "Revolutionary Road," which I'm sure is very good, but didn't have time to get out and see due to its lack of a release in Chicago before this weekend.)

The following films are listed in alphabetical order:

Changeling - Clint Eastwood's "other movie" released this year got ignored due to accusations of melodrama, which is a shame, because being jaded only serves to diminish the raw power and emotional impact of this Angelina Jolie drama. Jolie, more a tabloid foil than an actress at this point, finally reminds us all why she won an Oscar for "Girl, Interrupted" ten years ago. As Christine Collins, the mother of an abducted child who became the victim of a massive LAPD coverup, she conveys every bit of the horrified anguish of a mother who simply wants her son back and is forced to endure absolute hell to get him. I've rarely been filled with so much anger, in the best possible way, as I was while watching this film.

Choke - Clark Gregg's adaptation of the unadaptable Chuck Palahniuk novel is probably as dead-on as it was ever going to be, and this is due to Sam Rockwell's caustically funny performance as Victor Mancini, the sex addict and con man who falls for an off-kilter doctor and figures out he may just be a descendant of the divine. Rockwell manages to pull off the high-wire act of the character, playing him as petulant and exploitative while also making him just charming enough that we cheer for Victor, no matter what horrifying things we do. Kelly MacDonald, as the doctor, plays the antithesis of her weeping widow in "No Country For Old Men," and manages to come off as both adorable and crazy without overacting for a second. The marketing for this film did it very little justice, because it's really not as funny as it was made out to be. It's kind of touching, though, in its own deeply strange way.

Don't Look Down (No Mires Para Abajo) - I caught this film at the Chicago Film Festival in October, mostly because the premise in the guidebook made me laugh and intrigued me simultaneously. It mentioned something about a woman seducing a young man and teaching him how sex could work as a cure for his sleepwalking, but it ended up being something more. The movie is very much about two people having sex, but because it is a foreign film, the sex is not sensational or brutal, but instead legitimately intimate. I'm not quite sure what it was about this film that made it stay in my mind at the end of this year, but I think it has something to do with the fact that a film featuring prominent and frequent graphic sex had more to say about the nature of young love than most anything else I saw this year.

In Search Of A Midnight Kiss - I'm a sucker for talky indie romances, and this one might be the best since "Before Sunrise," which pioneered the genre. The story of an awkward young man who wants nothing more than to cloister away on New Year's Eve in Los Angeles until he can forget that the past year ever happened, "Midnight Kiss" becomes a love story for the internet age when a Craigslist posting for companionship leads to a strange, sweet night-long odyessy through the city with a deeply strange young woman with her own crosses to bear. The film's black and white photography allows their strolls through urban sprawl to take on a romantic quality that I doubt they possess in real life. The ending is one of the most honest I've ever seen in a romantic comedy, and possibly one of the most magical, in its own way.

Milk - It took me two viewings to really appreciate Gus Van Sant's film about Harvey Milk, the slain San Francisco city supervisor who became one of the first and most iconic faces of the gay rights movement. At first, it came off like a typical Oscar bait biopic, which is a claim that wholly cheapens the resonance of Sean Penn's work as Milk, which he lends both the proper humanity and lust for power to elevate the character above the status of a caricature. The film itself is also deeply refreshing in one regard; gay love is depicted for what is the first time I've observed in the film as it is, without melodrama or heartbreak. In the scenes between Penn and James Franco, playing Milk's longtime lover, there is real tenderness and affection, with even a bit of playfulness, which is wonderful. The film itself uses a haunting mixture of re-enactments and actual footage to drive the point home, but the most deeply moving sequence of the film comes when Milk and his advisors celebrate the failing of a proposition to ban gays from working in schools, because it's uncanny to think that essentially the same struggle is still going on today. Sad, isn't it?

Pineapple Express - It's hard to call this movie a stoner comedy, considering that it exists as virtually every genre at one point or another during the film. Romantic comedy? Just look at the sweet, stumbling loyalty between dedicated burnout Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) and his dealer Saul Silver (James Franco), that eventually elevates itself to the highest form of hetero man-love. Action movie? Hell yes. The last half hour of this movie is, of anything, way more violent than any comedy needs to be. Drama? At times, it's oddly serious and even attains a level of pathos that it really has no business having. The real stroke of genius, however, (excluding Franco's deliciously whacked performance) is the film's last scene, which answers the question of what all action movie characters do after the shootout/car chase/violent climax is over. The answer is pretty damned funny, as it turns out.

Rachel Getting Married - Jonathan Demme's film about a rehab-fresh young woman attending her sister's wedding left me feeling like I need to revisit it in five to ten years, once I've been immersed in the mid-twenties wedding boom and lived through it, so that I could better appreciate it. As it stands now, it's still the best performance Anne Hathaway has ever given. As Kym, she's unrepentantly manipulative, fighting wildly for attention at the same time she simply wants to be left alone. It's incredibly affecting and memorable without falling into award-grabbing territory. There is a twenty-minute scene, featuring a multitude of wedding rehearsal dinner speeches, that critics have either loved or considered overindulgent, that I think falls somewhere in between. It's likely incredibly realistic, because it overstays its welcome, but all is forgiven the moment Kym takes the mic and refers to herself as Shiva, the god of death and destruction before sarcastically thanking both families for putting up with her substance abuse.

Sex Drive - For a low-budget teen sex comedy, this was shockingly hilarious. In fact, it might be the funniest movie out of the genre since "American Pie," at least as far as sex comedies with gratuitous sight gags go. The more memorable part of the film, though, is the final half hour, in which it takes the inevitable turn into sweetness, but does so with a surprisingly deft touch. The film is the story of three friends, two guys and a girl, heading from Chicago to Tennessee to facilitate one guy's loss of his virginity, but along the way, the girl in the picture becomes involved, and where the film goes from there is surprisingly romantic.

Speed Racer/The Spirit - Why did I lump these two films together? I think there are enough similarities in place that comparisons have to be made. Both were major box office duds, both were practically made for a cult audience and both were absolutely slaughtered for critics as the result of foregone prejudices against them. The most important thing? They were both fantastic with respect to what they were trying to do. With "Speed Racer," the Wachowski brothers directly re-created the cult 1960s cartoon, in live action and in acid trip-level Technicolor. In the case of "The Spirit," Frank Miller used the "Sin City" visual style to create a gloriously campy ode to all things action movie-badass. With both films, I think the real audience will be found on DVD and at midnight showings years from now.

The Wackness - It's not often that a seemingly unremarkable movie becomes one of the year's most indelible, but so it goes with "The Wackness." Josh Peck plays a naive young pot dealer who befriends his therapist (Ben Kingsley) and falls in love with his therapist's stepdaughter, who's not all she seems to be. The writing starts off awkward, but soon hits its stride. The exchange between Peck and Kingsley at the end, after Kingsley takes a full bottle of prescription tranquilizers, is one of the most tender scenes of the year. It's a shame that a perfect movie for teenagers couldn't find a wide release.

40 Inspirational Speeches in Two Minutes

2009-01-01T16:38:00.001-06:00

Shock and Losses

2008-12-30T17:49:00.002-06:00

Well, 2008 is coming to a close. The Entertainment world has endured it's share of shock and losses with the deaths of Heath Ledger, Bernie Mac, Paul Newman Eartha Kitt and others.

They will be missed.

But the thing that sticks in my craw right now is the delay of my beloved Watchmen. God how I want to see this film. Ever since I saw the trailor and read the entire graphic novel standing up at my local Borders, I have been salivating for it. But, alas, I wait for it. Still.

The same way I waited for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull and Twilight. WTF Were these worth waiting for? No.

Now, I realize my rants on this blog have not been as prolific or frequent or even as good as others, but I have enjoyed reading the blog and trying to stay abreast of the entertainment world.

Dominick you do a fantastic job reviewing these films and your blog entries kick ass everytime.

Amy darling thank you so much for allowing me to continue to contribute, inspite of myself.

I wish you both a Happy New Year and luck and fortune with it.

Movies I do not want to see again:

Hancock

Twilight

Dead and Breakfast

any of the Horrorfest 7 films to die for.

Cloverfield

The shock of them sucking so bad and the loss of money from seeing them is why I haven't blogged enough.

The Year's Worst Movies: A List

2008-12-29T13:58:00.003-06:00

I figure, with us at the tail end of 2008 now, I'd start working on those obligatory year-end lists. However, I'm still a few films short of being able to do my Best of 2008, that'll be coming next week. What I do feel comfortable writing on, having seen over 100 films released this year, is the worst films of the year, as I don't think most of the Oscar bait coming out will be terrible enough to make the cut. So, without further explanation, my Ten Worst Films of 2008

Special Award: The Happening

Now, here's the thing. Is "The Happening" one of the worst movies of the year? Without a doubt. Therein lies a dilemma for me, though; as god-awful as it was, I've wanted to watch it time and time again. The film has transcended being bad, to the point that it's a must-see film in that audaciously bad, "Troll 2" sort of way. I can't rank it as one of the year's worst, because honestly, I look more fondly on my viewings of it more than I do for a lot of the films I saw. As an illustration of my point, enjoy:

10. W.

You might think it strange that such an acclaimed movie made my "Worst" list, but I thoroughly believe that said acclaim came from a bunch of super-liberal film critics who found this film an absolute revelation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to play politics; I'm moderate across the board, and I voted for Barack. The fact is that when you remove topicality from the equation, you have a movie that may as well have been called "Satire For Dummies." Josh Brolin fails to infuse George W. Bush with the same humanity that Frank Langella gave to Richard Nixon in "Frost/Nixon," but that's no fault of his. The fault lies with the script, which basically draws everybody but Colin Powell as a bunch of bumbling idiots out of the Three Stooges. For as edgy as this film seems to think it is, "Saturday Night Live" covered all this territory already, and a hell of a lot better. The coup d'etat, though, is director Oliver Stone's attempts to delve into Bush's daddy issues and amoral history in order to make him sympathetic. Even worse, critics believed that he succeeded. This movie is about as even-handed as "JFK," and I'd really like to meet the people who said that this film was fair, so that I can get a good look at just how far up their asses their heads are.

9. RockNRolla

I can't express enough how truly, deeply sad I am to have to put this film on this list. I wanted it to be Guy Ritchie's post-Madonna return to form, the confirmation that "Revolver" was just an unfortunate aberration. I don't know what happened, but the frenetic energy that seemed to be on the verge of ripping straight out of his earlier films is completely gone, replaced with the kind of dull, laborious plotting that populates dime-a-dozen crime films. Gerard Butler and Toby Kebell do their best to elevate the film, but there's no redeeming a script that takes over half the running time to establish the story, and on top of that talks down to the audience, giving us fifteen-minute scenes of expository dialogue to make sure we don't get lost along the way. Though it's not the year's worst movie, it might be the most disappointing. Then again, there's #3...

8. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

I can only remember two things about "Prince Caspian":

1.) At some point, a CGI grizzly bear appears in the middle of multiple pivotal scenes, without having any reason for being there. I laughed my ass off.
2.) There was a couple sitting in front of me that I'm pretty sure were fucking in the theater, thinking they were being discreet about it.

I can't recall a single other detail, other than my thoughts immediately after the film that it was nothing but a laborious, instantly forgettable "Lord of the Rings" for children. I think that says it all.

7. Stop-Loss

When I was done watching "Stop-Loss," I was moved to remember Danny Boyle's 2007 misfire "Sunshine," which was a phenomenal film that was turned into an awful one by a terrible plot twist late in the film. The same thing happened with this film, but on an even greater level. For two-thirds or so of its running time, "Stop-Loss" is a compelling look at the moral issues present within the titular law, which states that those enlisted in the military can have their required time of duty extended without warning, and must accept this or face the full penalty of law. The film has the conviction to say that sometimes, running is justified if you've been screwed by the system. However, without warning or any plot provocation, the film completely cops out, and ends with the final idea that there is nothing more important than doing what you're told to do, even if you don't want to and even if it may very well get you killed. If the film had adequately built to this conclusion, it would have worked; as it stands, it seems like the studio told director Kimberly Pierce that she could make an anti-war movie, as long as the overall purpose was rah-rahing patriotism. If you can see the logic in that, please explain it to me.

6. Sukiyaki Western Django

The idea is fantastic: A spaghetti Western with an all-Asian cast. The execution...well, frankly, execution implies that something was accomplished. As it stands, Takashi Miike (director of a number of stomach-churning J-horror films, including "Audition) apparently though the best way to run with this premise was to teach his stars English phonetically, and in Southern accents. Because of this, you feel like the English-language film needs subtitles, just to help you wade through the awkward speech patterns. Worse still, for a Western, there's next to no action, just a lot of talk about rival gangs, roses and a woman who knows karate. The whole film feels like it's about an hour longer than it is, and rather than being excited, or at least campily amused, you're just staring at your watch, wondering when the whole debacle will come to an end. When Quentin Tarantino gives the best performance in a film, you know something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

5. Hancock

If you've already seen "Hancock," do me a favor. Go online and find the original script, titled "Tonight, He Comes" (which would have been the best movie title in history, but I digress) and read it. You'll see how great this movie could have been before however many polarized forces got involved and ripped it apart. Watching this, I could tell that studio executives had quite a bit to do with the production and cutting of this film; only people with no proper training could have edited this movie this poorly. The film is half comedy and half dark, philosophical superhero drama, and I've made it sound a lot more intriguing than it ends up being. They awkwardly and without warning switch from the first style to the second, and try to do both in less than 90 minutes of running time. The result is an awkward, jumbled mess, a waste of a charismatic star capable of making this character iconic with a better script, and a major letdown given how good this film could have, and should have, been.

4. 10,000 B.C.

I love "The Day After Tomorrow," without a hint of irony. It's an incredibly fun, if scientifically hideous, disaster epic that I'll watch every time it's on TV. Apparently, that film's director, Roland Emmerich, decided that he would lose his sense of humor, and for that matter his goddamn mind, for his follow-up, "10,000 B.C." Apparently, at that particular era in time, slaves were building pyramids, jungles were located directly next to vast deserts, and the best way to stop a sabertooth tiger from disemboweling you was to ask it not to do so. Oh, and the big villain, hidden until the end of the film, looks like an evil, possessed shower curtain, with long fingernails. This is clearly the stuff nightmares are made of. I was hoping this film would be so bad it was good. It was just bad.

3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This movie is the cinematic equivalent of depression. It acts like it has some spark, puts on a facade so that everybody else won't worry about it, but as soon as you're with it long enough, you know it just wants to be dead. Watching "Crystal Skull," I couldn't help but wonder if anybody involved in the making of it gave a shit whatsoever, outside of everybody needing money in these strained economic times. The film seems content to fly by solely on nostalgia, throwing in Shia LeBeouf to make it relevant to a younger audience. Now, as likable a man as Shia is, when you're depending on him to save the fourth installment of one of the all-time legendary film franchises, a franchise George Lucas is a part of, something's not right. Maybe Lucas is the problem, though. I can understand why he felt compelled to do this film, for what it's worth; he didn't quite kill "Star Wars" enough with the idiotic "Don't jump or I'm going to fuck you up with my lightsaber" scene at the end of "Revenge of the Sith," so he needed to do more damage to everybody's childhoods. Thus, a woman being killed by knowledge and a UFO buried in Mayan ruins. Epic fail.

2. Semi-Pro

A bad movie is a bad movie, but a bad comedy is arguably worse, just because you're cringing at how painfully unfunny it is. A bad Will Ferrell movie is the next step down the ladder, because he and his casts never fail to swing violently for the fences. Sometimes it works, as with "Anchorman," and sometimes you get the cinematic equivalent of afterbirth, which is what happens here. There is literally not one laugh in the film's hour and a half running time, mostly owing to the fact that the script seems like it was written by twelve year olds. The film mistakes long streams of profanity for comedy, frequently; there's a scene set around a game of poker that's so terribly put together that it leaves the audience sitting in a seat, wondering where the nearest sharp object is so they can destroy both the screen and themselves, so that they won't have to live with knowing they paid to see this godforsaken movie.

1. Funny Games

Since April, this piece of crap was going to be at the top of this list. I knew as soon as I left the theater that, no matter how many more movies I saw this year, nothing could possibly be worse. Lo and behold, nothing was. I won't recap all my thoughts on this film (look in the archive to the right of this article, under "April 2008," for my original review,) but I will say that in reflection, the film was nothing more than a slap in the face to people who don't "get" art. My only additional thought is that I do often worry about the American moviegoing public, and the films they pay to see. I've never been prouder of humanity than when even critics met this vile, sadistic, nihilistic, hopeless, pretentious, supposedly provocative affront to cinema with complete indifference. A film this awful doesn't warrant discussion.

Review: The Spirit

2008-12-26T18:21:00.002-06:00

There's no real way to write an accurate review of "The Spirit" in the style of a critic. This is half because on a normal four-star scale it's not a good movie, and half because I'm too much of a fanboy to be objective. So, I'm just going to outline some of the things that happen in the film. By the end of this list, you'll know whether you want to see this movie or not.

-Shit blows up.

-Shit makes dramatically shaped clouds when it blows up.

-Scarlett Johansson's entire purpose in this film is to be hot, spew serial-comic-circa-1950 dialogue and rock gravity-defying cleavage. Seriously, it could be seen from space.

-Samuel L. Jackson shows up as a Nazi for one scene, gives a dramatic monologue and then melts a kitten.

-Eva Mendes shows up as a femme fatale named Sand Saref, partially naked at one point. A Xerox of her ass is a major plot point.

-The Spirit (Gabriel Macht) utters lines like "I'm gonna kill you all kinds of dead" with a totally straight face.

-There is a fight sequence in which a toilet is used as a weapon. After it's used, the line "Toilets are always funny!" is exclaimed.

Now, it might seem unclear exactly what my opinion of this film was based on these things, but let me illustrate it this way. A friend of mine pointed out that if you combined the reviews of the Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun Times and another local paper I can't recall offhand, the film would get three stars. If you combined every review in the country, that is how I felt about this movie. Seeing it on Christmas night made me believe in the holidays again. Colors were brighter. Sounds and vistas, sharper.

Bottom line: Frank Miller directed a fanboy's masturbatory fantasy. Most people will say that it's trash filmmaking. I say please, sir, can I have some more?

Review: Gran Torino

2008-12-26T18:05:00.003-06:00

There's not another actor alive that could have played Walt Kowalski in "Gran Torino," except for Clint Eastwood. This isn't because the role is deep, though it is, or because there's script convolutions of any kind. The truth is that, had any other actor been filmed growling like a bear in close-up, it would have been so silly that the audience would have been lost beyond the point of repair. Enter Eastwood, the penultimate tough guy. The reason he works in this role, and the reason "Gran Torino" is so good, is because this is how we imagine he functions in his day-to-day life, and have imagined him ever since he played Detective Harry Callahan all those years ago.

The film starts off with the funeral of Walt's wife. He's miserable, because at the funeral his granddaughter shows up in a tube top, his grandsons in football jerseys, and it's evident that his sons, their parents, could care less. His wife's priest, Father Janovich (Christopher Carley) informs Walt that her last wish was for Walt to go to confession, and Walt dismisses him. To Walt, the final straw is when a Hmong family moves in next door. Walt is a Korean War vet, and one of those ornery old men so racist that they can drop a term like "gook" into casual conversation and not even see anything wrong with it.

Walt also lives in the "old neighborhood" of Detroit, which is becoming more of a ghetto with each passing day. One day, Walt sees that a local Hmong gang is harassing the boy next door, Thao (Bee Vang). He doesn't care, until they end up on his lawn. At that point, Walt storms outside, rifle in hand, and demands that they get off his lawn. Thao's hyper-smart sister Sue (Ahney Her) informs him that he's a hero to the neighborhood, which would explain all the meals and flowers being left on Walt's porch.

The film doesn't exactly break any new ground as far as the "old man grows to care for younger kids, learns something about himself along the way" subgenre goes, and so I'll stop synopsis here. What the film lacks in innovation, it more than makes up for in raw emotional impact. Walt realizes over time that the neighborhood isn't the place it used to be, and that it's a lot more dangerous. The key here is that there's no monologue about how he feels old or can't handle the changing times. Walt knows the score, finds it unacceptable and goes about trying to fix it the only way he knows how; he teaches Thao how to be a man, allows Sue to educate him on a foreign culture and violently threatens anybody who he sees as a wrongdoer.

Eastwood doesn't direct himself/portray Walt as anything more than an older version of his past characters. There's no sappiness to be found here; Walt's still a mean old racist at the end of the film, even if he's allowed a few people into his life that he hadn't before, there's no unnecessary character arc to leave the audience feeling good when they leave the theater. He makes a decisive choice at the end of the film that is genuinely heartbreaking, because it seems like it might be the first truly selfless choice he's made in his entire life.

Review: Seven Pounds

2008-12-26T17:05:00.003-06:00

"Seven Pounds" is quite possibly the most perfect example I've ever seen of how melodrama, however heavy-handed, can work when placed in the right hands. Leave it to Will Smith, the world's most infinitely likable actor (Tom Hanks lost the right to that claim after "The DaVinci Code") and the creative team behind Smith's last heavy-handed Oscar bid, "The Pursuit of Happyness," to get it right on the second go-around.

Allow me to clear up the plot through the incredibly frustrating, vague trailers. Ben Thomas (Smith) is an IRS agent, who at the very beginning of the film calls in his own suicide. The film then jumps back an unknown length of time, to Ben selling off all his possessions and endlessly perusing lists of names, shouting them at himself repeatedly. He calls a blind phone salesman (Woody Harrelson) and cruelly berates him. He creepily tails Emily (Rosario Dawson) in a hospital before informing her she's being audited, only to then tell her that he's going to make sure she is out of the reach of the IRS for half a year, in order to help her pay off her medical debts.

Through this, and a number of equally odd episodes, Ben seems to be flying on an entirely different plane. He seems vicious at times, aloof at others, but the one constant is that he is perpetually depressed. Smith, to his credit, conveys this without one line of the script to help him. We see brief flashes of something horrifying that happened to Ben, but are not told just what this is until the very end of the film. He appears to be on the verge of giving up and dying, but something compels him to complete the series of goals he keeps obliquely referencing.

Then, a complication ensues: Ben falls for Emily, and she for him, even though he only intended to meet her as part of his suicidal endgame, whatever that may be. Because of this, he forces her along with him on his emotional roller coaster; he leads her on with hints at his broken heart, but whenever she begins to care enough to try and understand him, he forces her back to an arm's-length away. Despite this, they grow closer, even though Emily admits she is on the verge of dying and Ben knows he will be as well, though for wholly different reasons.

It's pretty easy to see why this film wasn't an easy sell for Columbia, because there's no real genre or central story to lump it into. The film is at once a tender, subtle romance that moves at an almost indie movie-style pace, and a journey towards death reminiscent of Nicolas Cage's in "Leaving Las Vegas." All the while, we are pulled in, wanting to know what drove Ben to this point and just what he has in mind. And when we finally find out....well, I can't give it away conscionably, but just let me say that the film ends with one of the most surreal sequences since the frog downpour in "Magnolia." It's not as out-of-left-field as that film, given that here the eventual end is hinted at earlier on, but it's no less affecting. This film will likely go down as one of the year's buried treasures, because it's affecting in a way that doesn't resonate instantly. It takes time to really understand how beautiful the final revelation is.

Review: Yes Man

2008-12-26T12:58:00.002-06:00

I remember fondly the Jim Carrey of my youth, the one who ran headlong onto an airport tarmac in "Dumb and Dumber," but I have long since accepted that he is no longer the same actor. Frankly, he's better off now. Full disclosure: I adore serious Carrey, given that "The Truman Show" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" are both among my favorite films. However, with "Yes Man," he returns to the territory that made him a star: high-concept movies that allow him to turn his face into rubber and his body into the world's punching bag.

Being that this is a high-concept movie, the entire plot can be synopsized in a sentence or two. Carl Allen (Carrey) is a maladroit bank employee who hasn't been out with his friends or done anything fun in nearly three years, ever since his ex-wife left him. However, he has a chance encounter with an old co-worker, who sells him on a Tony Robbins-like "Yes!" seminar. Carl goes, and the guru (Terrence Stamp) shows him how joyous his life can become if he says yes to anything and everything offered to him.

The premise itself is extremely similar to "Liar, Liar," but where that film allowed Carrey to unleash his id all over those around him, there's something uncomfortable about this premise. For much of the film, Carl is terrified of the things he's saying yes to, but is essentially a slave to the premise, and that's the reason this movie doesn't quite work; we like Carl, well enough that we don't want to see him suffer through being fellated by an octogenarian or being stuck in the middle of nowhere in the California hills after offering a ride and his cell phone to a homeless man. The latter at least has a positive effect, as it leads to him meeting Allison (Zooey Deschanel), a free spirit who becomes attracted to Carl because of his seemingly carefree way of approaching life.

This romance is what saves the film from being pointless, as Carl really begins to come alive (both in the film and to the audience) once Allison comes into his life and makes him push his boundaries. Inevitably, there is that moment in every romantic comedy where the film's central conceit leads to the lovers being separated, but unlike many, the reason given here actually makes enough sense that it doesn't seem as silly or unreasonable as they often do.

What really helps the film along is the way that it uses all the things Carl picks up while on his journey later on. In most movies, his learning Korean, taking flight lessons and signing off on every loan request in his bank would simply serve as a brief laugh before being discarded. Here, though, Carl turns into a sort of superhero, using everything he's learned to better the lives of others. The film's funniest scene, which I won't spoil here, involves Carl using his guitar lessons to save a man's life, and this (along with a few others) gives the film a heartfelt center that feels natural, rather than forced.

The trouble is that while there is heart here, there are too many dumb sight gags. At the screening I attended, the audience didn't start laughing until about halfway into the film, and this might very well be due to them being raised on the same Jim Carrey that I talked about earlier; because they know all his physical comedy tricks, they don't earn the same easy laughs that they used to, and only when the film ups its game in the second half does the audience start to go along with it. I'm all for a slow build in a film, it doesn't happen enough, but it shouldn't take this long in a broad comedy.

A Special Merry Christmas From Your Friends At Livewire

2008-12-25T13:25:00.000-06:00

Review: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

2008-12-22T14:07:00.002-06:00

I sometimes hate movie trailers. A lot. The reason I bring this up is that if you watch the trailer for "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button," it essentially spoils the entire film, right down to the ending. Also, please note that this isn't a suggestion that you watch said trailer, as it will ruin a great movie for you, or at the very least ensure there are very few surprises.

On with the review, though. The film is the life story of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt), who begins the film by stating that "I was born under unusual circumstances." Oh, how he was. Benjamin was born as a baby, but with the body of an old man. As he grew older, he aged in reverse. If it seems unusual that I'm using the past tense, it's because the film is told in memory. From whose, I will not reveal, because the film doesn't opt to do so until about halfway in.

As a baby/old man, Benjamin lives in a retirement home run by Queenie (Taraji P. Henson). Benjamin's father (Jason Flemyng) abandons him on her porch after his wife, Benjamin's mother, dies in childbirth. Queenie takes him in and loves him like a child, especially since she's unable to bear her own. He grows up with an old man's body, but with the mind of a child. This leads to a chance encounter with Daisy, when Daisy is a little girl. This will prove fateful for Benjamin, as Daisy grows up (into Cate Blanchett, no less) and becomes Benjamin's lifelong lost love.

Once he's young enough in body to leave the safety of the retirement home, Benjamin voyages out into the world, and without giving too much away, he experiences all the joys of life in much the same way as the rest of us. He finds work as a hand on a boat, spends time embroiled in an affair in Russia and does a great many other things, but all the while, he feels as though something is missing, without Daisy present in his life. Each time they reunite, they marvel at how they are nearing in age, without either being willing to admit the inevitable: As he grows younger, so she grows older.

Being that this story comes from the slow-boiling prose of F. Scott Fitzgerald, the film has a gait to it instead of being a race towards an ending like many others out right now. However, it's a testament to the quality of this film that at no point in the film's three-hour running time does it feel as though it's dragging. Aside from the conceit of Benjamin's situation, there's really nothing unrealistic going on, but yet, the film feels as though it possesses a magical quality. After leaving the theater, I thought of another film about an unusual man's strange journey, "Forrest Gump," and I believe that this could catch on in the way that film did. Some will argue that there's no real point to this film, but did that one really have one? It was about the journey, not the destination, and here, it's about how sometimes, taking that journey is what some of us are really put on this planet for.

Review: The Band's Visit

2008-12-21T21:38:00.002-06:00

I'm a firm believer in one of the entries in Roger Ebert's Little Movie Glossary, which (in paraphrase) states that if a critic ever uses the word "ennui" (meaning boredom) in the review of a film, particularly a foreign film, it's going to be pretentious and boring as hell. I think that with "The Band's Visit," I've found an exception, because although it is an exercise in the ennui of being trapped in a small town with little hope of true escape, the film is anything but boring. In its own extremely subtle way, it's one of the year's funniest films.

The film opens with a fairy tale statement of sorts: "Once, not long ago, a small Egyptian police band arrived in Israel. Not many people remember this, it wasn't that important." And really, it isn't. The band arrives in Israel to perform at a new Arab cultural center, only to find that the van scheduled to pick them up has failed to appear. They send the group's lothario, Haled (Saleh Bakri) to ask for the first available bus, but due to a combination of nomenclature issues and Haled's flirtations with the customer service girl, they end up in Bet Hatikva, a tiny, dreary town where the only sign of life is the local cafe owner Dina (Ronit Elkabetz), who kindly informs the band's conductor Tawfiq (Sasson Gabai) that not only is there not an Arab cultural center, but "No Israeli culture, no Arab culture, no culture at all." A regular at the cafe helpfully adds "Bloody nothing."

Eventually, Tewfiq and Dina strike a deal, and she convinces a couple of the regulars to entertain the band for the evening and give them a place to sleep. From here, the film does not really progress a plot, nor does it have a real point. But then, a film doesn't have to all the time. This often leads to meandering art pieces, but here it works, for it follows the rhythm of real small-town life, where the most profound moments can be found in the tiniest silences and quirks, and something can be touching without being grandiose.

Over the course of the night, three of the band reside in the house of a man whose dreams of musical grandeur are briefly revitalized by the presence of a band, even a tiny police band. Haled goes with a young man to the local roller disco and attempts to help him flirt with and seduce a woman. The real crux of the film, however, is the tentative semi-courtship between Dina and Tewfiq. I say semi because neither of them is really chasing the other, or anything for that matter. For different reasons, neither wants to be involved with a lover again, but what they find in one another is arguably more important.

The film goes in unexpected directions, but it does not shy away from the inevitable. It's not really a spoiler to say that in the morning, the band goes on their merry way, and the small town continues to be unimpressive. We don't spend enough time with these people to know whether the events of that fateful night changed them, but we can surmise that it has at least touched them, and that might be all that we can ask.

Review: The Wackness

2008-12-21T21:36:00.001-06:00

(The following is a revision of a review I started writing back in late August but never finished.)

"The Wackness" is one of those films that doesn't seem all that remarkable when the credits first roll, but stays with you long after the fact. Now that we're approaching the end of the year, and now that I've seen upwards of 100 2008 releases, I'm somewhat shocked that I'm still contemplating this film, a sweet coming-of-age story that takes place over the course of a balmy summer in 1994 New York City.

The protagonist is Luke Shapiro (Josh Peck, and yes, the Josh Peck from Nickelodeon's "Drake & Josh"), an awkward young man fresh out of his upper-crust high school and lacking in anything resembling direction. He's content to pass his days listening to hip-hop, fantasizing about his gangsta delusions and selling pot out of an ice cream cart in a NYC terrified of Mayor Giuliani's 100 percent crackdown on drugs. His state of inertia is interrupted by a series of events that take place at the start of the summer. First, he figures out that his parents are on the verge of losing their apartment. Then, Stephanie (Olivia Thirlby), his dream girl, takes a sudden active interest in hanging out with him. This is complicated by the fact that one of his few friends (and a dealing client), Dr. Squires (Ben Kingsley) is Stephanie's stepfather.

At first, Stephanie is a dream come true for Luke. (It takes a special kind of actress to perform a teenage boy's masturbatory fantasy, figuratively and literally, and Thirlby is more than game.) She follows him as he deals, asking about the finer points of the profession, loves the East Coast rap mixtapes he makes for her and invites him back to her family's house on Fire Island for drinking and the loss of his virginity. Luke is in heaven, and not even Dr. Squires' warnings that it's only a fleeting thing can't stop him. Inevitably, Stephanie is not what she seems, and this leads to Luke having to confront maturity head-on.

There is a lot to this film that has been done to death in other films, but rarely this well. Peck is marvelous as Shapiro, lending him a sad-eyed charm that lies buried for much of the film beneath a Notorious B.I.G.-induced swagger. It's hilarious to watch his posturing come unraveled in visits to his dealer (Method Man), when he realizes that he's surrounded by real gangbangers, dangerous ones at that. Kingsley, acting considerably against type even for such a chameleon as himself, is even better as Squires. He adopts Luke both as a friend and a son, because Luke reminds him of himself when he was young and still had idealism on his side; Squires is trapped in a loveless marriage, with a stepdaughter that regards him with indifference and a job that he hates save for its ability to allow him to help Luke.

Is it ridiculous for a film to get nostalgic for an era not yet fifteen years past? Maybe. The upside to this gambit is that the film takes on a certain sense of relevance that this genre needs in order to reach its audience. As another film in the subgenre paved by "The Graduate," it works better than many of its ilk. The summer ends, people of all ages grow up, and even if the road ahead isn't the happiest one, there's a pretty badass soundtrack to carry everybody onward.

Review: Let The Right One In

2008-12-21T20:44:00.002-06:00

"Are you looking at me? Well, squeal! Squeal, pig!"

This is the first thing we hear Oskar (Kare Hedebrant) say in "Let The Right One In," and also the first thing that Eli (Lina Leandersson) hears him say. Oskar is one of those completely unremarkable boys we all remember from grade school, the one who only seems to even be present in a room when he's getting harassed by bullies, who pursue him because they know they can and they know he won't retaliate. He fantasizes often about torturing them and having his revenge, and in general, he fits the mold of a boy that could end up on the news for bringing a gun to school a few years down the road.

His parents ignore him, and he has no positive attention in his life, but this turns around one day when he meets Eli. All he knows is that she "smells funny" and doesn't know her birthday (she says that "I'm 12...but I've been 12 for a long time") and for some reason tells him during their first conversation that it's probably best if they don't become friends. Oskar tries to act tough, but it's obvious this stings him. The next day, though, Eli is back, and they begin to befriend each other using morse code along their shared bedroom wall, and Oskar begins to come alive, just a little bit.

There's just one nasty little snag: Eli is a vampire, one who depends on a strange older man living with her for sustenance in the form of blood from random people he assaults in desolate areas and drains.

In a turn refreshing for the genre, Oskar doesn't run from her with terror or tell her that he's only afraid of being without her. He approaches her with curiousity, and also with tenderness; regardless of what she is, she's a friend to him, and he knows this. He also begins to become attracted to her, but this is also a problem. In the film's best exchange, one of the year's best altogether, Eli confesses something unusual:

Oskar: "Do you want to go steady?"
Eli: "Oskar, I'm not a girl."
Oskar: "Well, okay, but do you want to go steady or not?"

Soon, Eli's need for blood begins to rear its head, especially when the friend of one of her victims begins to seek vengeance. She also inspires Oskar to retaliate against the bullies who abuse him, which is at first thrilling and later potentially life-threatening. All these consequences come together in the film's brilliant final twenty minutes, in which both Oskar and Eli are forced to come face to face with the reality of their friendship and must face the consequences of being in something that resembles love.

In my review of "Twilight" earlier this month, I mentioned that that film was a castration of the vampire genre. "Let The Right One In" is the absolute antithesis of that film, as it examines in a far more honest light the love between the mortal and the immortal, and the lengths to which both will go to protect the other. In addition, it doesn't really occur to you until the film is over that the film is also a surprisingly tender parable about the awkward need for closeness in the lonely time of adolescence. Pretty neat trick, huh?

Review: Doubt

2008-12-21T19:47:00.001-06:00

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Oscar bait. This is "ach-ting" with a capital A, the kind of sweeping, grandiose performance fodder that sucks up awards like a Hoover. If my tone sounds condescending, or at least negative, there's a reason for that. "Doubt" has recieved surprisingly mixed reviews, but that surprise comes more from those who heard the pitch (Meryl Streep and Phillip Seymour Hoffman together in a film about a still-relevant issue, released in late December) and saw the trailer, and thus were convinced that this film would go off like gangbusters.

It hasn't, and more than anything, I think it's just because this film simply isn't as good as it should be. Maybe that's unfair to say, but I thoroughly believe that a film must be judged on its own merits; for example, I wouldn't review "Shoot 'Em Up" (a film I deeply loved) in the same way I would review a film like this. One expects more of a movie with such a casting pedigree, based on a Pulitzer Prize-winning stage play, and directed by the playwright. One should expect more, and has the right to be mad if it doesn't live up to its potential.

"Doubt" is the story of the battle between two extraordinarily headstrong individuals. One is Sister Aloysius (Streep), the principal and head nun at St. Nicholas Parish/School, a predominantly Irish Catholic church in the Bronx, in the 1960s. She rules with an iron fist; the nuns dine with her in silence, rightfully afraid that a single word out of them will unleash a cuttingly sarcastic fury. Even the sweetest of those in her charge, Sister James (Amy Adams) can't help but inform her that "All the children are uniformly terrified of you." She becomes threatened by the presence of Father Flynn (Hoffman), who brings with him Aloysius' worst nightmare: notions of progress and change.

Thus, when Sister James hints that something might be happening between Fr. Flynn and the school's only African-American student, Aloysius immediately assumes the worst. She begins a crusade to force a confession without having even a slight amount of damning evidence, even going so far as to bring this to the attention of the boy's mother (Viola Davis), who in an absolutely jaw-dropping scene, changes the entire dynamic of the film by hinting that perhaps, something illicit is happening involving the priest and the boy, but not in the way Aloysius means.

Now, the dialogue is top-notch, as are the performances. Streep manages to make Aloysius human, even as she does horrible things; in the hands of any lesser actress, this character would have been reduced to an enraging caricature, but Streep lends her a certain amount of sympathy that makes it difficult to simply write her off as a monster. Hoffman is also reliable, as he plays Fr. Flynn both shadily enough and honestly enough that it is nearly impossible to figure out his true role in the whole situation. Despite this, I was reminded of a film Hoffman starred in last year, "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead." The film was superbly acted, extremely well written, and yet it didn't even come close to being one of the best films of the year. Why is this?

In the case of the former film, I have no idea, but I think I understand it here. The film is filled with so much bombast and artistic vagary that instead of being compelling, it just becomes monotonous. As great as it is to see a film that does not hold the audience by the hand, there is a point at which it gets ridiculous. Without saying too much, let me just state that when a film seems to show you everything about a character, and in its very last line of dialogue completely alters the dynamic, that's not a final reveal, it's just cheap. I'm sure many would disagree, but I stand by this opinion.

In addition, John Patrick Shanley, director and scribe/director of the original play, directs the film with more visual melodrama than most war epics. Lights are burning out, the wind is constantly howling and half the dialogue exchanges are framed in sharply tilted angles. I perfectly understand what he means to accomplish, but it becomes downright comical at times, which for a film with this much of a desire for gravity is near-fatal. That's not to say it's a bad film, not at all, but one can tell while watching it that there is a masterpiece in here somewhere that failed to be found.

Review: Choke

2008-12-18T14:17:00.002-06:00

Director Clark Gregg has to have some serious balls. Why else would he take on the task of adapting an unadaptable book, to say nothing of the fact that it's the second Chuck Palahniuk novel to be bought to film, after a little movie called "Fight Club"? The fact is that no filmmaker could have fully adapted "Choke," mostly because the book is pornographic and a straight adaptation wouldn't have made it past the MPAA. With this in mind, Gregg has done a pretty great job of bringing the sordid tale to life.

The film is the story of Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell), med-school dropout, sex addict and all-around terrible human being. He fakes choking episodes in restaurants in order to cover his mother Ada's (Anjelica Huston) medical bills. The logic? Once somebody saves your life, they feel protective of you to the point of taking responsibility for you like a child. His only friend is Denny (Brad William Henke), a masturbation addict who frequents 12-step meetings with Victor. However, where Denny is actually trying to get better, Victor could care less. What's so strange about Victor is that he's fully aware of the fact that he's a horrible person, and sees nothing particularly wrong with it.

Then, he meets Paige (Kelly MacDonald), his mother's nurse, and everything comes unhinged. I won't spoil anything particularly huge, but she manages to convince Victor of what to him is the worst possible thing imaginable, relating to his true origins. This forces Victor to confront his station in life and his addiction, which leads him to forcibly shove himself down the rabbit hole of depravity, running desperately from having to feel anything resembling an emotion. He also has to deal with Denny falling in love with a stripper, for Victor refuses to believe that anything deeper than lust can exist in people like him.

Gregg brings some devilishly funny touches to the table. Often, when Victor looks at anybody, the film cuts abruptly to them naked, or to a flashback to Victor having already conquered them, which puts us right inside his head. What really does the trick, though, is Rockwell's performance as Victor. He's the perfect actor for a part like this, because at the core, we are supposed to like Victor, or at least empathize with him, or if nothing else, laugh at the sheer misery of his life. In the hands of a lesser actor, he would've just been a prick, but the perpectual twinkle in Rockwell's eye allows for him to be endearing even as he's answering online wanted ads for fake-rape fantasies.

It's unfair to say that "Choke" is or isn't good because of its relation to the book. The book is a modern masterpiece, and it's inevitable that things have to be excised or retooled. As a film, on its own, "Choke" is stellar. It pulls off that most difficult of tricks, tittilating at the same time it manages to have something to say. Deeper than that, Gregg had it right when he set out to adapt the book: "I saw it as a punk rock love story." Amen.

Review: Encounters At The End Of The World

2008-12-17T18:42:00.002-06:00

"Encounters At The End Of The World" might just be the cinematic equivalent of exchanging stories in a bar. One guy tells a tale, and then another to up the ante on him, and all the while, the stories range from touching to hilarious, sometimes both, and sometimes just heavy. The difference, however, is that where exaggerations are likely to take place when stories are being told, "Encounters" captures them on camera. It's a stunning illustration of the idea that the truth is often far stranger than fiction.

Documentary filmmaker Werner Herzog (best known for "Grizzly Man," where he filmed a man who lived amongst grizzly bears and befriended them, until one day they got hungry and killed him) takes his examination of those individuals who live their passion to Antarctica, to film everybody from scientists seeking a deeper understanding of new life to working men with a lifelong case of wanderlust. Along the way, Herzog makes some conclusions about where the world is headed, if even the last utopia of the world (as he views it) is slowly falling apart.

The film is lushly shot, though Herzog seems to have fallen so deeply in love with the vistas of Antarctica that he tends to labor upon shots for minutes at a time. This is also the film's biggest handicap, because for as gorgeous as it looks, it eventually gets redundant, as though he's continually trying to tell us how beautiful the place is even as he's already shown us. The film's best scenes are those that center around the people. As Herzog talks to a penguin researcher, his overhead narration marvels at how the man has become so engrossed in his work that he lacks the ability to converse with humans.

There is another scene during the film when the trainer talks about how penguins will occasionally, for reasons not yet understood, bolt for the mountains, running away from safety and towards certain death. This is another of the overarching themes of the film: following one's muse regardless of the consequences. Many of the men and women Herzog talks to have led wonderous, bizarre lives. One woman relates the story of her three years living on the run with African rebels, and how she was kidnapped and trapped in firefights on numerous occasions. Most of them do manual labor jobs to support themselves, but never do they complain; you get the distinct impression that everybody living in Antarctica wants to be there. After all, if they didn't, from what Herzog implies with this film, they wouldn't last long.

(Note: The film also has quite a statement about global warming, one that I would argue is even more effective than the fact assault of "An Inconvenient Truth." Because of this, I can see this film taking the Best Documentary award at the Academy Awards this year.)

Review: The Day The Earth Stood Still

2008-12-16T11:11:00.003-06:00

This might sound terrible, but I think I felt more excitement watching the "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" trailer before "The Day The Earth Stood Still" than I did watching the film itself. That's not to say the film is bad, certainly not as terrible as many are claiming, but it's just not very good either. It feels as though the filmmakers were trying to sell the 1950s version to a modern audience, but the problem is, they had to either deliver a full reproduction (excluding, perhaps, men in robot suits) or create an entirely new film. What they've delivered is some bizarre in-between.

Brief synopsis of the plot: Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly) is called one night and pulled out of her home by government officers, forced to leave her son Jacob (Jaden Smith). They cannot tell her why this is happening, because not even they know. A colleague of hers (Jon Hamm) informs her that she's been selected to be part of a special team planning for a strange interstellar object colliding with Earth. However, the object slows down, and lands in Central Park. It's a huge sphere, glowing and appropriately alien, and when a vaguely human form steps out, the military's first instinct (as is the case with movie military) is to open fire on it. The sphere gets angry and sends out a warning, in the form of a giant robotic man.

From there, the Secretary of Defense (Kathy Bates) reaches the conclusion that the aliens are hostile, and Helen has to prove her wrong. The man the aliens sent identifies himself as Klaatu (Keanu Reeves), and he claims to be here to save the Earth, but continually informs the humans that their demise is rapidly approaching and unavoidable. Helen simply tries to convince him that mankind can change its ways enough to warrant not being killed off.

The film is surprisingly slow-burning for an American disaster movie; until about two-thirds of the way in, there is simply a building of somewhat ominous tension, before things start getting disentegrated and/or blown up in the third act. The film's best scene, and also its most compelling, is when Helen brings Klaatu to a Nobel Prize-winning friend of hers (John Cleese), who does not beg Klaatu to spare humanity, but simply sits down and debates its merits with him, as though they were discussing a scientific theory over tea.

Reeves is not horrible here; any actor could play this role, as he simply has to remain emotionless, and it just so happens that he's played this role too many times before for there to not be a little bit of parody present. Connelly is good as always, though she has that most thankless of disaster movie roles, the constantly weepy female lead. Smith is probably the star performer in the film here, playing an embittered boy who understandably has issues with the strange alien driving around with he and his stepmother. If anything, when the inevitable acceptance of Klaatu by Jacob rolls around, it's a little too abrupt; Klaatu essentially stops him from tripping and falling, and that seems to change the whole game.

Oddly enough, the film pulls off the "global warming as apocalypse" angle far better than a film I enjoyed considerably more, "The Day After Tomorrow," but within that comparison lies its greatest flaw. "Tomorrow," for all the grandiose special effects and melodrama, had a certain humor about its situation, and you never forgot that it was above all else a Hollywood production. At times, while watching this film, I felt almost like I was watching a documentary of something that did not happen, and not in the good "Cloverfield" sort of way. The film is so matter-of-fact that even when tiny aliens are ripping Giants Stadium apart, there's no sense of mirth or wonder, just apathy.

Review: Frost/Nixon

2008-12-16T10:20:00.002-06:00

Most actors spend their careers seeking roles as meaty as the two main ones in "Frost/Nixon." On one side, you have British talk show host David Frost (Michael Sheen), known more as a well-groomed personality than a hard-hitting journalist. Frost briefly had a taste of American fame when his syndicated talk show premiered in New York, but it was quickly cancelled. As Frost tells his manager (Matthew Macfayden), "Success in America is unlike success anywhere else."

On the other side, you have disgraced U.S. president Richard Nixon (Frank Langella). After resigning the presidency under fear of impeachment in the wake of the Watergate scandal, Nixon was unable to retain his former glory. Near the beginning of the film, we see Nixon telling witty anecdotes to a mostly bored crowd at an orthodontics society dinner, which then does nothing but slam him with questions about Watergate. Nixon, more than anything, wanted the glory and public adoration that goes along with the spotlight back, and so when his agent (Toby Jones) informs him that Frost has offered him $600,000 to do a full-coverage interview, Nixon takes the opportunity. One of his biggest motivations was a lack of confidence in Frost; the former president figures that Frost is not at his level, and will be a fine stepping stone on the road to rehabilitating his image.

Most people share this opinion; not only because he's a foreigner, but an "illegitimate journalist," not a single U.S. broadcasting network will co-finance the interviews. Frost has to wheel and deal and call in every favor he has, essentially putting all his eggs in one single, fragile basket. He hires Bob Zelnick (Oliver Platt), a political contributor for ABC at the time, as well as James Reston Jr. (Sam Rockwell), a professor at North Carolina who fears that Frost will botch the greatest possible opportunity to show Nixon to the world as a crook and a liar.

At first, Frost could really care less; this is nothing more than a lark for him, an invitation to those American high-society parties he so desires. Nixon sees this and takes full advantage; he knows he can outsmart Frost, and does so with exchanges like the following:

Nixon: Have a pleasant evening?
Frost: Yes.
Producer: Camera in 5, 4, 3....
Nixon: You do any fornicating?
Producer: Roll camera.
(Frost stutters)

However, as he gets kicked around in the first few interviews, his facade of confidence begins to break, until a fateful conversation between he and Nixon, which shows him that maybe, the man known as "Tricky Dick" is only human after all. He pounces on this during the Watergate portion of the interview, and if you don't know how the real-life interviews unfolded, I won't ruin it here.

Sheen, so great as Tony Blair in "The Queen," is great as Frost, with his perpetual game-show grin. Langella, however, owns this movie. Both actors have worked with these characters for years onstage before director Ron Howard brought them to film, but his Nixon is not only a dead ringer, but also surprisingly human. Unlike Oliver Stone's backhanded "W.", Nixon is not a caricature based on popular opinion of the man; he is broken by his attempted coverup, and wants nothing more than for the whole thing to just go away so that he can continue his life, and maybe attain a small amount of his former glory. Some perspective on how hard this role is to pull off: it seems odd to imagine, but Nixon was once seen to be as much of a disgrace to the presidency as many now consider George W. Bush to be.

New trailer for Wolverine Origins

2008-12-15T12:29:00.001-06:00

Get pumped, because Gambit's in the trailer!

Review: My Winnipeg

2008-12-14T09:36:00.002-06:00

If ever there was not a movie made for the masses, this is it. Guy Maddin's "My Winnipeg" is dense and bizarre, and even the hardiest of filmgoers will be pressed to comprehend it on a single viewing. The greater trouble is that many will not give it the benefit of repeat viewings because of the aggravation the first one might very well cause. This would be a shame, though, because whatever you say about the film, you can't deny that it approaches greatness, if it falls just a bit short because of its own imposed limitations.

The film is Maddin's middle finger/love letter to his hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba (in Canada, but I hate adding that to the end; it'd be like saying "Chicago, Illinois, United States"). Maddin starts the film with a frenzied rambling that he sustains throughout, starting off with the highly questionable statistic that Winnipeg is the sleepwalking capital of the world, and that it is law that when a sleepwalker shows up at their old home, or a place they used to frequent, the current resident has to take them in for the night.

There's a lot of weirdness like this; as the film goes on, Maddin also asserts that many of the city's streets are named after famous prostitutes and that a seance was once performed in the capital building that involved a "spirit bison" and several of those prostitutes. The central idea of the film, though, is Maddin attempting to discover exactly what has kept him in a town he mostly hates for all these years. As he says, "After a lifetime of failed attempts, I'm getting out for good this time. Again!"

To pursue this, Maddin hires a series of actors to play his childhood family, including his actual mother. He recreates episodes from his childhood mainly in order to understand her, because he feels that her lap is the magnetic pull that keeps him coming back to Winnipeg. His narration conjures images of feverish rambling, as he often repeats himself over and over and returns to the same ideas, trapped inside the same loop that's kept him in town. He has to keep reminding himself to stay awake long enough to escape Winnipeg, because if he falls asleep, he'll sleepwalk right back home.

For all Maddin's disdain, though, he loves his hometown deep down. This comes through in a lot of the film, particularly when he talks about how the Winnipeg Ice Arena, where his father played and where he spent much of his young life, was torn down by the city after its attempts to bring in the NHL failed, and it could not generate money. Maddin has what I believe is actual footage of the dynamite destroying only the additions to the arena designed to placate the NHL; the skeleton remains intact, and citizens can be heard chanting "Go, Jets, Go" in honor of the Winnipeg Jets team. Not only that, but in Maddin's fevered imagination, there is a team of old Jets players, now of geriatric age, called the Black Tuesdays, who continue to lace up their skates and play in the arena even as wrecking balls demolish it around them.

Even at the end, when Maddin is inching towards his great escape, he cannot help but imagine a superhero, Citizen Girl, who will continue to look after his town and his mother when he leaves for good. Even if the film uses everything from animation to silent film cards, Maddin has told a story that every single individual in the world can understand, about the inextricable pull of "home," whatever or wherever that may be, and the inability of anybody to ever truly leave it.

100 Greatest Movie Characters

2008-12-13T22:36:00.003-06:00

Empire put out their list of the 100 Greatest Movie Characters up on their site. Don't know if I agree with all of them (Tyler Durden as number 1? Citizen Kane in the 90s?), but take a look and see for yourself: http://www.empireonline.com/100-greatest-movie-characters/

Review: Slumdog Millionaire

2008-12-13T18:39:00.002-06:00

The film starts off with a question, posed in the style of the show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" It asks, "Jamal Malik is one question away from winning 20 million rupees. How did he do it?" The possible answers: He cheated, He's lucky, He's a genius, or It is written. The police have Jamal (Dev Patel) in custody, because they see things as they are: He serves tea to telemarketers, and has spent the majority of his life on the streets. They wonder, "What could a slumdog possibly know?"

As it turns out, everything.

You see, Jamal has been forced, ever since he was young, to survive on his wits and intelligence. This is familiar territory for director Danny Boyle, whose oeuvre includes other stories of the fight for survival like "28 Days Later" and "Trainspotting." The main difference between "Slumdog" and other films of his are that where the others were steeped in darkness before finding the light, there's a vibrant joy to this entire movie that no movie released this year, or even in the past few, can match.

That's not to say there's not darkness in it, though; the story follows Jamal and his brother Salim (Madhur Mittal) throughout their lives as they try to stay afloat in Bombay, which as they get older becomes the industrial nirvana of Mumbai. Along the way, they lose their mother in an anti-Muslim riot, encounter a host of dangerous people and fall in and out of each others' lives. What keeps Jamal fighting through adversity time and time again is the lust for life instilled in him in the form of Latika (Freida Pinto), who he meets when they are children and who he spends his whole life trying to be with.

This relentless optimism serves Jamal well even when he makes it onto "Millionaire," especially with the host (Anil Kapoor) smugly playing Jamal's history for laughs. Jamal also refuses to indulge the police inspector (Irfan Khan) who believes strongly that Jamal is somehow cheating, and then fails to understand Jamal's motives for going on the show even when he becomes convinced that Jamal might just be telling the truth.

The film unfolds in flashbacks, as each question asked of Jamal on the show ties back to an event in his life. Boyle's visuals are unlike anything in his other films; gone are the monochromes and darknesses, replaced by an almost Bollywood-style splash of color. The entire film is shot in India, with many scenes populated by everyday citizens in lieu of extras. For this alone, Boyle deserves an Oscar; in interviews, he has talked about how he accepted things like people staring into the camera, as it was the truest way of showing the "real India" to a world that right now knows it more for being the site of brutal violence than anything else.

A story like this could have collapsed under the weight of treacly sentimentality, but it is a testament to cast, crew, writer and filmmaker alike that at no point in the two-hour running time does anything onscreen feel forced or unreal. In fact, more than anything, "Slumdog" might just be one of the truest love stories to come out in years, and it does it without a hint of grandstanding or obviousness. This might just be the year's best film.

More on War Inc

2008-12-13T10:05:00.002-06:00

War Inc, another little film that could, had a limited realese in movie theaters. Thanks to John Cusack's MySpace campaign, the word was spread far and wide about this film by regular fan's and critics of President Bush's policies and politics alike.

When I said, see this movie and open yourself up to new ideas, I meant it.
Right now, we are at war and in the middle of a recession driven by greed and ignorance. The idea that corporations, like the fictional Tamerlane Industries, exist and operate the way they do for profit is not far fetched. It is frightening.

It is also a very close reality. See the film and then do the research for yourself. You can't learn everything from a blog.

Review: WAR INC.

2008-12-12T16:21:00.002-06:00

Another film that was looked over by this year's Golden Globes, WAR INC. John Cusack co-wrote and stars in this political satire set in fictional, war-torn country of Turaqistan which is occupied by a fictional American corporation Tamerlane industries.

In this bleak version of the immediate present and future, America is a country that is in the business of making war for profit--i.e. after blowing the country to smithereens we sell and spoon feed Democracy to the Turaqistani's. It is a bitter pill to swallow. A future where great coporations spend vast amounts of dollars shaping the worlds nations into what they see as profitable ventures. Where everything even human life and limb is profitable. This is a frighteningly real concept, and alot of truth can be said in jest.

As "Hauser" John Cusack is a hitman hired by the corporation's CEO (played by Dan Ackroyd) to kill a Middle Eastern oil minster. Hauser's cover will be that of a Trade Show producer hired to put together some kind of show and organize the wedding of Central Asian popstar Yonica Babyyeah (played very well by Hillary Duff). Rounding out the cast are Marisa Tomei, Joan Cusack and Ben Kingsley.

As the film progresses, we see Hauser is not unlike John Cusack's hitman in the film Grosse Pointe Blank. He is very charming, enigmatic, and other than Hagelhuzen (Tomei) the only one with a heart and a conscience. I mean, the man tortures himself by drinking hot sauce straight up from a shot glass. What a guy. And while the moral and emotional implications of what he has to do mount around him in a mass of dark humour, we the audience can't help but laugh.

Marisa Tomei's character, is a left wing investigative repoter who also becomes a love interest to Hauser along with Yonica Babyyeah. It is an interesting triangle to say the least.

Overall, after giving you this little bit, the film is a well told tale. Much better and funnier then Wag the Dog. War Inc is a polically scathing black comedy that pokes holes in the image of American Captalism and reveals greed for what it is--evil.

See this movie and open your mind to new ideas.

Golden Globes Analysis

2008-12-11T12:11:00.003-06:00

I'm taking a break from my recent prolific burst of movie reviews to talk about the Golden Globes nominations, just announced today. I feel as though I'm coming full circle, as my very first post on Livewire last year was on the same subject. Anyway, I'm going to give thoughts on the top categories, and only in film, though I must give a shout-out to "30 Rock," the single best show on television that a disappointingly low number of people are watching. I'm asking nice. Please don't let it get cancelled, general public. You already took "Arrested Development" away. I'm going to list the nominees and go category by category:

Best Picture (Drama)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire

My take: If there is a God, "Slumdog" is going to win this award. It's this year's Little Movie That Could, only unlike "Juno" last year, it's actually good. "Reader" looks like typical Oscar bait in every way, and the Weinstein Company still can't successfully release a movie to save their lives. "Frost/Nixon" will probably get more love in the acting categories. I saw an early showing of "Benjamin Button," and that was great too, but the one that could take it is "Revolutionary Road," because not only does it look great, but the power of Kate and Leo together for the first time since "Titanic" might be too much to deny. However, I can see one thing working against it: the same people who hated "American Beauty" because it hit too close to home will likely be cringing in their seats for this one.

Best Actress - Drama

Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - Changeling
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas - I've Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet - Revolutionary Road

My take: Too close to call. There's not one weak performance here. "I've Loved You So Long" doesn't have the same press machine behind it as the others, but Thomas is phenomenal. I honestly can't even speculate at this one.

Best Actor - Drama

Leonardo DiCaprio - Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

My take: Now, Sean Penn is the master of commanding awards, especially with a movie that's as relevant as "Milk." Leo's due for an award, and Langella has honed his Nixon impression for years onstage before bringing it to screen. Rourke might get all the comeback goodwill that Robert Downey Jr. was robbed of in the best actor category, but I have to give the early nod to Pitt for playing a role that reminded me of Tom Hanks in "Forrest Gump," and I hear he did okay.

Best Picture - Musical or Comedy

Burn After Reading
Happy Go Lucky
In Bruges
Mamma Mia!
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

My take: What the hell? This is an extremely indie crop of movies save for "Mamma Mia!," which was not very good. I'll say that "Happy Go Lucky" is going to win it, just because that's the most critically lauded, though don't count out "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" or "In Bruges." I'm just elated to see the latter film nominated, because movies that come out in February are often forgotten, and this one is worth it.

Best Actress - Musical or Comedy

Rebecca Hall - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sally Hawkins - Happy Go Lucky
Frances McDormand - Burn After Reading
Meryl Streep - Mamma Mia!
Emma Thompson - Last Chance Harvey

My take: I haven't even heard of the movie Thompson is nominated for. This is actually a weak crop save for Hawkins, who's excellent and has the most hype on her side.

Best Actor - Musical or Comedy

Javier Bardem – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Colin Farrell – In Bruges
James Franco – Pineapple Express
Brendan Gleeson – In Bruges
Dustin Hoffman – Last Chance Harvey

My take: Please let Franco win this award. Either of the "In Bruges" guys or Bardem would be fine, and I like Hoffman, but as far as an actor stretching, you can't get any further from type than Franco did here.

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler
Kate Winslet - The Reader

My take: Cruz has been getting buzz ever since the summer, but "Doubt" is the kind of actors' movie that award ceremonies love. Tough call.

Best Supporting Actor

Tom Cruise - Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey Jr. - Tropic Thunder
Ralph Fiennes - The Reader
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight

My take: Now I'm conflicted. I want Ledger to win so badly, but I almost want to see Downey get it for what was the very definition of a scene-stealing role. I'm surprised Hoffman is in this category, and he'll be tough to beat. One final note, though: Am I the only one who didn't think Cruise was funny in "Tropic Thunder"? Apparently.

Review: Zach and Miri Make a Porno

2008-12-11T11:57:00.002-06:00

Kevin Smith has done it again. I really can't find enough words to impart how deeply I loved "Zach and Miri Make a Porno." Granted, "Clerks" is the reason I've become a complete film geek, and why I'm writing here, and why so many other things, but this film is for anybody who ever doubted Smith's talents as a filmmakers because of his vulgarity, his low-fi production or anything else.

The film is the story of Zach (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks), platonic best friends and roommates. They're three months behind on all their bills, because of Zach's habits of buying things like ice skates and Fleshlights with his paychecks. If you don't know what a Fleshlight is, Google it, it'll make you laugh; just don't do it at work. Eventually, their power is turned off in their apartment, and they realize that if they don't find a way to make money, they'll be homeless. Zach finds inspiration at their high school reunion, when he meets Brandon (Justin Long, in a showstopping cameo), an adult film star who stars in such all-male fare as "Shut Your Mouth Before I Fuck It."

Zach gets the idea to make a porn movie and sell it to their old high school classmates, and he enlists not only Miri, but his coworker and friend Delaney (Craig Robinson), as well as a host of locals, including Lester (Jason Mewes), Deacon (Jeff Anderson, another Smith regular) and Stacey (real-life porn star Katie Morgan). After some hilarious misunderstandings, Zach ends up filming the movie in the coffee shop he works in after hours. However, when it comes time to film his scene with Miri, they are both forced to wonder exactly what having sex will do to their friendship.

From there, the film goes to some wonderful places that I can't give away here. Suffice it to say that it might just be the most deeply, unabashedly romantic film of 2008, even though it involves a fecal explosion as a major third-act plot point. In the vein of Smith's other films, much is said about the power of sex to change the dynamic between friends and lovers forever. Rogen is fantastic as always as Zach, but the real surprise here is Banks, who started as the hot chick in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and went on to do a bunch of other hot chick roles, before most recently playing Laura Bush in "W." The role of Miri was originally written for Rosario Dawson, but when she backed out, Rogen personally recommended Banks. She plays Miri as every guy's dream girl, with pinup looks and an X-rated vocabulary, but when the plot turns more dramatic, she's absolutely heartbreaking; there is a scene where she coldly informs Zach that sex is just sex, and when he responds, the look on her face is that of somebody who just gambled their entire world and lost.

The film was met with a bit of controversy, as Smith's often are, but it was regrettably passed over. This is a shame, because it's funny, heartwarming and easily one of the year's best films. Look for this on my year-end Top 10.

Review: Repo! The Genetic Opera

2008-12-11T11:41:00.002-06:00

It's been a long time since I've seen a movie get so viciously torn apart by critics across the board for a less legitimate reason. Now, I've listened to director Darren Lynn Bousman ("Saw"s 2-4) talk about how he knew exactly what he was bringing on himself when he cast Paris Hilton as just one of his eclectic cast. What I doubt he expected was the half-star review from Rolling Stone that essentially bashed her for a paragraph and barely even discussed the movie. Or, for that matter, the slew of other reviews that all followed suit.

Then, there's the uphill battle that "Repo!" has encountered just in trying to get into theaters. Lionsgate, they who buried "Midnight Meat Train," a film I was looking forward to, decided that there wasn't a market for this movie, and so they dumped it in eight theaters nationwide and left it to die. Then, a funny thing happened. It didn't. Word of mouth spread like wildfire, which led Bousman to starting a road tour, touring with the film and trying to spread his enthusiasm. The road tour screenings went off like tent revivals; the film hadn't been released nationwide, and people were still showing up in costume and singing along to the songs.

However, I've managed to go two paragraphs without actually talking about the movie at all. Based on my prior statement, yes, "Repo!" is a rock opera (the filmmakers beg of you not to call it a musical) about a whole lot of things. Mainly, it's about GeneCo, a company that capitalized on a massive epidemic of organ failures by leasing organs to those in need. The company was soon overrun by greed, and now Rotti Largo (Paul Sorvino), the CEO of GeneCo, uses Repo Men to repossess the organs of those who default on their payments. Rotti is dying, and he knows that his children are unfit to run his company. There is Luigi (Bill Moseley), who suffers from a severe rage problem; Pavi (Ogre, of industrial legends Skinny Puppy), who cares more about his fake face than anything else, and Amber Sweet (Hilton), who is addicted to both surgery and a futuristic drug extracted from the dead.

A parallel plotline involves Shilo (Alexa Vega), a young girl bedridden by a mysterious disease. Her father Nathan (Anthony Stewart Head) is trying to find a cure, but by night, he is also Rotti's top Repo Man. There is bad blood between Nathan and Rotti, and it gets worse when Shilo's curiosity is piqued by two mysterious figures; the Graverobber (Terrence Zdunich, one of the writers of the film), who acts both as a pimp and drug dealer and the film's Greek muse, and Blind Mag (Sarah Brightman), a star chanteuse for GeneCo who wants out of her contract.

In case it isn't obvious by now, there's a lot going on in this film, all set to people singing. Even those who have championed the film have said that it's incomprehensible, but I disagree; I've now seen it twice, and I perfectly understand what is going on. While watching it, I couldn't help but think of another much-maligned film that came out this time last year, Richard Kelly's pop-trash madhouse "Southland Tales." Both films were a labor of love, and both swing for the fences with a gonzo, wild-eyed aplomb. "Repo!" is considerably more comprehensible, but somehow, it's suffered an even worse fate.

I implore you to seek out this movie. It'll be on video in January, and some of the more successful stops on the road tour (Chicago included) have brought it back for return engagements (it'll be playing at midnight at the Music Box Theatre the weekend of December 26th). If nothing else, just think about this: This film is destined to be the next great cult phenomenon, in the vein of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Don't you want to be able to say you knew about it when it first started?

Got to Love Lonley Island

2008-12-09T23:56:00.002-06:00

So this is not technically movie-related, and probably most people have seen this, BUT when I saw this I could not stop laughing. For those of you who are slow on the uptake like me, Andy Samberg has struck digital gold again with his new Digital Short with Lonely Island cohort Jorma. I think the title says it all. And if this is your first experience with Lonely Island amazingness, definitely either check out their official site or simply YouTube "Lonely Island." For the newbie, may I suggest Just 2 Guys or Bing Bong Brothers?

Jizzed in My Pants:

Review: Australia

2008-12-08T14:35:00.007-06:00

"Australia" inspires one of the oldest cliches in the book, used by critics for many years now: They don't make 'em like this anymore. It's true, though. Very few filmmakers would be able to get away with making a costume epic that wouldn't have seemed out of place in a theater in the 1940s, with a massive budget. Then again, Baz Luhrmann isn't your everyday filmmaker. The mad mind behind the retelling of "Romeo + Juliet" and the remake of "Moulin Rouge," Luhrmann has made a name for himself by tweaking the tropes of Old Hollywood and repackaging them for a modern audience that wouldn't know who Clark Gable is if you asked them on the street.

The film has been slammed by critics as a misfire, a failure of grand proportions. I couldn't disagree more. I think that in order to fully appreciate the film, you have to understand exactly what it's doing. That is to say, you have to embrace the cliched nature of the thing and work from there. The film is the story of Lady Sarah Ashley (Nicole Kidman), a spirited high-society English type who storms off to pre-WWII Australia to retrieve her husband from the cattle ranch they own. Her husband arranges for her to be escorted by Drover (Hugh Jackman) a (wait for it...) cattle drover with a fondness for brawling and for the aboriginal culture of the Australian wilderness. He and Sir Ashley are looked down upon by the nobility of the country for hiring natives to work on the ranch, due to the racism still heavily prevalent at the time.

Upon reaching the ranch, Lady Ashley finds her husband dead, and this sets off a sprawling adventure, in which she tries to save the cattle ranch from the Carney company, which holds the monopoly on Australia save for her ranch, Faraway Downs. She also has to deal with her budding attraction to Drover, and also protect a young half-aboriginal boy named Nullah (Brandon Walters), who is in danger due to a law that actually existed in Australia at the time, and continued to do so all the way up until 1973, which allowed natives to be shipped to missions and be domesticated in the "white" way, so that they could live as servants to nobility.

The film is gorgeously shot by Lurhmann, but his most delightful touch is the use of traditional hand-painted backdrops for nature shots in lieu of CGI. While this might come off as hokey to some, it gives the picture that old-fashioned feel that it spends so much time seeking. The plot also has that same feel; the villains may as well be twirling their curled moustaches and the main characters are a grizzled man's man who forces himself to be alone and a spirited young woman who teaches him to love again. The film also has some ethnic stereotyping, which it has drawn fire for, but I don't think it's fair to criticize this, as it celebrates the almost magical quality, romantically so, of the ancient cultures that the "civilized" world essentially gentrified into oblivion. The people calling the film racist for it are the same ones who thought "Crash" was an absolute masterpiece, because it appealed to the white guilt impulse that far too many seem to possess. (For the record, I loved "Crash," though I'm also very aware that it was exploitative as hell, but I digress.)

The performers play the roles exactly as they need to be played. Jackman never once loses the devilishly playful twinkle in his eye, and in the inevitable scene in which he shows up to a ball as Ashley's date, clean shaven and dapper, he looks like an Old Hollywood star in every possible sense. Kidman is even better, and I say that having liked her in very few of her movies, but here she channels her inner Scarlett O'Hara and chews scenery with a gleeful ferocity that most actors wish they could enjoy. Special note must be made of Walters, who lends a depth to Nullah that actors far older than he often struggle to attain. During one sequence, in which he stares a cattle stampede right in the eye, he is as steely and tough as any other performer in a film this year. Regardless of the writing, which is knowingly old-fashioned, every actor in the film plays their roles with the kind of swing-for-the-fences glee that actors of the Golden Era would.

I cannot do anything but credit Luhrmann for following whatever muse inspired this film. Considering that there isn't much of an audience for a movie like this (it's three hours long, it looks cheesy if you don't understand the logic, the trailers did it no justice at all), it takes serious courage to make this film. However, if you can appreciate it for all of its winking flaws, it just might be one of the most entertaining films to be released this year.

Review: Cadillac Records

2008-12-07T20:26:00.002-06:00

Based on a true story, "Cadillac Records" is the story of the Chicago-based record label Chess Records, which brought the blues to the masses in the 1940s and eventually called itself home to legendary artists like Etta James, Chuck Berry and Muddy Waters. The film unfolds over somewhere in the vicinity of two decades, following label founder Leonard Chess (Adrian Brody) and the various artists he signed. The primary players are Waters (Jeffery Wright), Little Walter (Columbus Short) and Howlin' Wolf (Eamonn Walker), with Berry (Mos Def) and James (Beyonce Knowles) entering the picture later.

I'm not sure how much of the story told here has been documented in the past, to be honest, which is probably a large part of why I thoroughly enjoyed the film. Seeing Muddy Waters as a debt-ridden womanizer or Etta James as a heroin addict, while kind of like watching "The Wizard of Oz" knowing Judy Garland was a drunk, makes for compelling viewing. Perhaps the most heartbreaking part of all is the decline of Little Walter, because as the film tells it, his friendship with Waters led him astray, and after being introduced to the drink, he got into drugs and squandered his career in the process.

The film falls into a large amount of cliches (the saintly wife who turns a blind eye to her philandering husband, the power of respect and tradition over all else), but unlike many music biopics, it never feels factory-made. This is wholly because of the casting depth present. Wright plays Waters as a man who lost all perspective upon finding success; he squandered all his money to the point that even when the label was folding under Chess, Waters was still asking him for money to cover child support and his mortgage. The film's title is also telling, as it refers to Chess' habit of purchasing a Cadillac for every new artist signed to the label.

The film's weakest point is its third act, in which the part of the story surrounding Etta James takes over the film. Given that Beyonce is credited as an executive producer, this shouldn't be all that shocking. However, the film loses momentum when all the other characters are temporarily forsaken to follow Chess' budding romance with James, up until he met his untimely demise. In general, the film is one of those Great American Sagas, the story in which a bunch of people that came from nothing rose to something, and then threw it all away without planning for the future. To quote Billy Joel, "I guess that's why they call it the blues.'

Review: Synecdoche, New York

2008-12-06T17:48:00.003-06:00

"Synecdoche, New York" is not only the saddest American film of the year, but of the past few. This is the kind of film that you'd expect a filmmaker to create near the end of their career, or even their life, but that's the kind of courage that writer/director Charlie Kaufman (Oscar winner for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind") brings to the table. This is about as fearless, brutal and uncompromising as a film can get.

As is expected by this point of a Kaufman screenplay, the story is labyrinthe, but unlike most, there is no big revelation of the deeper point at the end; I've now seen it twice, and feel as though I need several more viewings to appropriately wrap my head around it. The story, at least at the outset, follows Caden Cotard (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) through an indeterminable amount of time. It starts in 2006, when Caden develops a mysterious illness that nobody knows how to explain; every doctor he sees sends him to another doctor, who sends him to another, and so on and so forth. Worse, his wife Adele (Catherine Keener) takes his daughter Olive to an art exhibition in Germany and never comes back.

However, in the midst of this, Caden recieves a MacArthur Genius grant to create his masterwork, and this is where the film begins to take shape as a wildly inventive, borderline psychotic narrative; without warning, Caden is thrust several years ahead without realizing it and without warning. There are lots of strange sequences from the outset; Caden's caustic therapist (Hope Davis) responds to Caden's asking "Who would kill themselves like that?" with "Why did you?" In another scene, a dying woman's flower tattoo begins to wilt, causing petals to fall off her arm.

As the film goes on, Caden begins to wonder exactly what is happening to him; not only is his perception of time disturbed, but he begins to become consumed by his art, to the point where he loses the ability to distinguish reality from fiction, and even worse, fiction begins to become reality and vice versa. This film is reminiscent of "Adaptation," another Kaufman script, insofar as it poses major questions about the nature of creativity and art itself. More specifically, they examine that theoretical point at which an artist becomes so absorbed in his art that he forgets to live in the process.

The film spirals further and further out of control, and has a habit of doubling and tripling characters and locations until the audience is no longer able to comprehend what's going on. The movie has been severely criticized because of this, but I disagree with the claims that Kaufman lost control. A film like this can get away with a lot as long as it obeys the rules that it has created for itself within its own world; this is why "Cloverfield" worked, and why this film works. The film continues to follow Caden as he races towards the inevitable, having to admit that he spent his life trying to play God and failing, and it ends with a brutal, bleak final line. The line, when you consider who delivers it, how they do it and who it's delivered to, is quite possibly the only ending that this film could have.

Review: Rachel Getting Married

2008-12-05T10:56:00.002-06:00

Kym (Anne Hathaway) is that family member that everybody speaks about in hushed tones before a major gathering, all full of smiles upon hearing of her imminent presence but secretly hoping that something will get in the way and she just won't show up. Everybody loves her, however grudgingly, but nobody wants her to ruin things, and everybody knows that she's the exact type who would ruin things just to look upon the rubble.

Compounding this is the fact that the reason Kym is coming home is for her sister Rachel's (Rosemary DeWitt) wedding. Her fiancee Sidney (Tunde Adebimpe, lead singer of indie outfit TV On The Radio) has arranged for a festive wedding filled with music and culture, but without much warning, Rachel feels her big day being taken over by Kym, who's been let out of rehab for two days to be a part of the festivities. Kym seems hell-bent on centering attention on her despite wanting desperately to be a part of the wedding, and to Rachel's great dismay, her father (Bill Irwin) plays right into Kym's hands.

The thing I find most fascinating about this film is that Rachel is not played for sympathy; in the case of a lesser script, she would be irritating and childish, but a damaged young girl desperately needed to be loved would constantly be lurking just beneath the surface. Instead, we are shown all of Kym, all the lovability and the manipulation and the self-destruction that brought her to the point in her life at which we meet her. We are given a very valid reason for the family's tentative approach to her, and we are given explanations, but we can also see that Kym has serious troubles that she has to fix on her own.

Jonathan Demme, director of an eclectic mix of films including "The Silence of the Lambs," has shot the entire film with handheld cameras, giving the picture a documentary feel, though God help us all if we ever see a story this venomous unfold in an actual documentary. From the very first scenes of the film, Kym is bitterly abrasive, railing against anybody who tries to show her affection while simultaneously clawing at everybody for it. Rachel, meanwhile, is furious that her sister's attention-grabbing fits are going to steal her wedding day away, and as we learn, Kym has already taken a considerable amount away from Rachel.

Hathaway, as Kym, gives what is by a mile her best performance here, as she is beautiful enough that we can see why Kym is so good at getting whatever she wants out of life, but at the same time, there is a damaged quality to her that makes the audience want to reach out and hold her and reassure her that she will be alright. For reasons I will not reveal, at the end of the film Kym ends up bruised and battered, and in the film's loveliest scene, as Rachel does in fact get married, Kym looks proudly at her sister, smiling radiantly with a massive black eye.

Review: A Christmas Tale

2008-12-04T12:01:00.002-06:00

The premise of "A Christmas Tale" sounds like something out of a bad major-studio Christmas movie (one of which I sat through last weekend, but I digress): A family, fractured and split up by years of infighting and drama, comes together one Christmas when the matriarch of the family announces that she has cancer, coupled with a terminal illness that even if treated will only give her two more years or so. Now, you'd think that this synopsis would end with something like "And they all learn heartwarming lessons about the value of family," but arguably the most wonderful thing about Arnaud Desplechin's film is its stubborn refusal to accept any one family cliche at any point. To that effect, it might be the most honest portrayal of a family at Christmastime ever put on film. Certainly, it's the most brutal.

There are a massive amount of plotlines that the film juggles with a delicacy I lack, so I'll just introduce the players. Junon (Catherine Denueve) is the mother of the Vuillard family, and she is dying, but oddly upbeat about the whole situation; at any time, she seems like the only one in the room who's not worrying about her demise. Her husband Abel (Jean-Paul Roussillon) just wants to bring his family under one roof one more time. This hasn't happened in years because of Elizabeth (Anne Consigny), the perpetually depressed oldest daughter. Six years back, she bailed her ne'er-do-well brother Henri (Mathieu Almaric, also onscreen right now in far more theaters as the latest Bond villain) out of debt in exchange for his promising that he will never come near family get-togethers again as long as she is present. The youngest, Ivan (Melvil Poupad) is the problem solver, trying to hold everybody together for Junon's sake, if just for a few days.

There are far more people involved, such as Henri's girlfriend who seems bemused at the entire situation, or the young man who continually comes to Vuillard gatherings year after year despite not actually being a part of the family. The film is about the people more than the holiday and its trappings, and what a delightfully unhinged clan they are. The film does not allow us the satisfaction of understanding motives or thoughts, most of the time, even when at certain points, characters will break away from a scene and talk directly to the camera, filling in some of the narrative blanks. The film is two and a half hours long, and oddly, it feels too short, like there is much more to be understood about these people.

By far and away, Almaric is the standout performer in a film full of them. As Henri, he storms the family celebration like a whirling dervish, taking out his rage, depression and vendettas on everybody. In his very first scene onscreen, Henri falls face-first into the street while stumbling home drunk in the middle of the day, and this speaks volumes about his character. The more fascinating dynamic is between he and Elizabeth; they hate each other, but the film never really tells us why, and by the end it starts to appear as though they don't even know. At one point, Henri needles Elizabeth's husband to the point where her husband beats the hell out of him on the kitchen floor, and after, Elizabeth tends to his wounds while laughing, and more oddly, Henri will only let her attend to him, shouting at anyone else who tries.

The film is full of scenarios like this; the entire family has been blackened by years of rage towards one another, but yet they show love, at least love as far as they understand it. This means tolerating one another, or putting up with Elizabeth's crying and Henri's manic self-destruction and Junon's cold detachment from all her children, for the sake of keeping the family together. In its own bizarre way, "A Christmas Tale" captures the true essence of why family becomes so much more valued at this time of year.

Review: Twilight

2008-12-03T14:56:00.002-06:00

I feel obligated to give about a paragraph of full disclosure before writing any kind of review of "Twilight." First of all, I have read the first book in the incredibly popular vampire series, because I don't believe in drinking the haterade just to drink it; to a fault, I'll give just about anything a fair chance to impress me. This has led to watching way more of "The Surreal Life" than I'd like to admit, but it keeps me honest. The second thing I feel the need to mention is that I think the series is castrating the vampire genre, but I'll get to that later, in context.

On with the review. "Twilight" is the story of Bella (Kristen Stewart), a young girl who leaves her mother and stepfather in Arizona to live in Forks, Washington with her dad, police chief Charlie Swan (Billy Burke). She becomes something of a local celebrity, and soon catches the eye of Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). Edward seemingly despises her, judging by the fact that the first time she comes near him, he looks like he's having a seizure and a spastic orgasm at the same time. However, this is because Edward is a vampire, and is undeniably attracted to Bella, at first on a PG-13-friendly physical level, and then later on a much deeper, more romantic, but no more physical one.

Now, as an adaptation of the novel, "Twilight" is about as good as it was probably ever going to be, even if done by a more noted filmmaker than Catherine Hardwicke (director of the incredibly unsettling "Thirteen"). The issue with "Twilight" is that the book is good because of the introspection gained from it being a first-person narrative, from Bella's point of view. When she describes all the feelings Edward stirs within her, it's interesting if a little bit Harlequin-lite. This can't really translate to the screen, though, and as a result, there's a lot of downright comical scenes where Bella and Edward exchange longing glances, and don't communicate the same sense of gut-wrenching need that the books get across.

Speaking of Edward, I've watched interviews with Pattinson, he's a charming, well-spoken and funny guy, but this movie does him no favors. The other issue of translating the books is that something has to be cut (the books are all pretty huge, actually), and what was cut first was all the lighter, funnier interplay between Bella and Edward. As a result, Pattinson spends more than half the film over-emoting and delivering lines like "You're like my particular brand of heroin" with an all-too-straight face. This having been said, when the film picks up in the second half (as actual danger comes into play beyond the love story), Edward becomes more interesting to watch, and Pattinson steps up to the plate ably; he even briefly plays the role of action hero near the end, and it works. Stewart, as Bella, looks bored for the first half of the movie, but again, as the film picks up momentum, so does her performance. I'm not sure what it is, but there's something about her as an actress, a certain quiet strength that makes her seem like a poor fit for a damsel in distress on the level she's playing here, but she fits well enough.

The film as a whole is just okay; it's laughably overdramatic at times, but not horrible, though purists of the series will beg to differ. It's just hard to watch a vampire movie where sunlight makes them sparkle and the main characters can barely even kiss without conflict. The fact is that the "Twilight" series is the perfect set of books for the Disney Channel generation, because Edward is the perfect heartthrob for it; he's beautiful, would rather watch a girl sleep all night and talk about her feelings than try for anything more and is totally safe for the average suburban 12-year-old to fantasize chastely about without her parents getting upset. The movie reflects this; it's pseudo-edgy enough to attract a modern crowd without actually stepping on a single set of toes.

Review: Young People Fucking

2008-12-02T14:13:00.004-06:00

For a little Canadian indie flick, "Young People Fucking" actually creating something of a stir for a brief time earlier this year. ThinkFilm, the distributor, couldn't get it out in theaters because of the title (which admittedly, is shameless if pretty damn funny as well), and Roger Ebert, scourge of the oppression of any movie, published a review in his blog and took the time to get it up on IMDB as well. The question is, though, is there anything more here than just shock value? I'd say so.

The film is essentially a meditation on the universally known six stages of sex (prelude, foreplay, sex, interlude, orgasm, afterglow) through the perspectives of several different relationships, existing as types of relationships. There are the exes, Mia (Sonja Bennett) and Eric (Josh Cooke) who have dinner after some time apart and end up sleeping together; the best friends Matt (Aaron Abrams) and Kris (Carly Pope, of the defunct WB show "Popular"), who try and have sex just to spare each other the difficulty of finding somebody else; the couple Andrew (Josh Dean) and Abby (Krisin Booth) who try and spice up their sex lives while celebrating Andrew's birthday; the first date between Jamie (Diora Baird) and Ken (Callum Blue) and the pair of roommates, Gord (Ennis Esmer) and Dave (Peter Oldring), who end up involved with Gord's girlfriend Inez (Natalie Lisinska) in a threesome.

The film cuts back between one night in the lives of these five couples, and because this is a no-budget indie, it lives and dies by the performances. For the most part, the film lives on them, because all the actors involved delve fearlessly into sometimes humiliating, often hilarious situations that are all tangible enough to work. There are no exaggerated "American Pie" sexual pratfalls here, and what makes the film so cringingly funny is the fact that most of what happens onscreen is discussed, and often even suggested, in your average issue of "Cosmopolitan" or "Mens' Health."

As far as the stories go, the one between the best friends works the best, mostly because it's the sweetest out of them. Matt and Kris attempt to get drunk and fumble around, but trying to treat each other like any other one-night stand fails miserably, because they actually care about each other, and begin to realize this during. The funniest story, if the most out-there, is of the married couple. After discussing how they both feel boring and unsatisfied, Abby pulls out a strap-on, and the end result (no pun intended) is uncomfortably funny, just because it delivers what would probably be the most honest result of such an experiment.

The only time the film falls flat is in the plotline with the threesome. Gord is borderline creepy in wanting to watch his roommate have sex with his girlfriend, and becomes fully creepy when he begins making demands of them both. The scene is played for laughs, but Gord isn't likable enough for it to work. You can only feel sympathy for Dave, who looks horrifically uncomfortable the entire time. The only thing that redeems this plotline is Inez's very last line; it's fair, and honest, and will make any guy watching this bite his tongue just a bit.

For a no-budget indie comedy, the film works on all fronts. It's nothing revolutionary, and about twenty minutes in you can see why it couldn't find theatrical distribution (I'm no prude, but the film is borderline pornographic.) If I could make a recommendation, rent the film "Shortbus." Released in 2005, it was also met with controversy for its graphic sexual content (though in that film, the issue was with all the sex in the film being real) and handles similar themes of sexual need in a much gutsier, funnier and better written manner.

Review: RockNRolla

2008-12-01T12:33:00.002-06:00

What a deeply, deeply disappointing film this was. I should have known, really; I read that "RockNRolla" was shown as the surprise film at the Chicago Film Festival this year, and a lot of people left. Despite this, and the negative buzz, not to mention the constantly shifting release date, I wanted to believe in this movie. I'm a huge fan of Guy Ritchie's early work, particularly "Snatch," which yielded what might be Brad Pitt's best performance. However, Madonna and "Swept Away" happened, and Ritchie tailed off from there. Case in point: last year's "Revolver," which was Ritchie's attempt at a "Fight Club"-esque mindfuck that fell on its face.

"RockNRolla" was supposed to be Ritchie's return to form, to the delirious, hilarious crime adventures he built a career on. Instead, it shambles along at the tempo of a bad episode of "Law & Order." The story centers on...well, come to think of it, I'm not quite sure who it's centered around. The titular "rock n' rolla" is Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell), a snotty Pete Doherty doppelganger (in personality, at least) who's gone AWOL, presumed dead. However, nobody in the crime underworld believes that Quid is actually dead, least of all his adoptive father Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson, who looks like he's having a ball), the biggest and most successful crook in London.

Cole is having trouble with the new Russians in town, and things take a turn for the worse when Cole loses the lucky painting of the Russian boss. He enlists One Two (Gerard Butler) and Mumbles (Idris Elba) to get the painting back, but they end up involved with Stella (Thandie Newton), a femme fatale who seems to be playing every possible side. There are about a million more characters and plots in play, and describing what happens is just about impossible, not only because I don't take notes during movies but because it seems like even Ritchie didn't quite understand the film he was directing.

This could all be forgivable if Ritchie had played this like his old films; "Snatch" has a plot every bit as labyrinthe, but it worked because it was funny and had a kinetic energy ripping through every frame that left the audience breathless and not caring about plotting. Here, Ritchie tries to make a crime film like every other filmmaker, and loses what made his early work so innovative and great. The film spends nearly the first hour of its 110-minute running time setting up all the pieces, and it takes so long to get to the action that by the time you get there, any involvement in the plot has long gone out the window.

Even when the action does show up, it lacks the spark of Ritchie's earlier films. For that matter, it lacks the spark of most recent action films. The film's standout scene is a foot chase between One Two and a seemingly unkillable assassin, which might be the most realistic chase ever put on film; by the end, both men are limping after each other, unable to run out of exhaustion. Kebbell also stands out as a philosophy-spewing junkie with a penchant for violence, who always seems to be one step ahead of the fray. His character belongs in a better film than this.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

2008-11-22T19:54:00.004-06:00

In 2005, with a single self inflicted gun shot wound, America lost one of its most vocal critics and rugged outlaws of this and the last Century, at the age of 68. Born in 1937, he was Hunter S. Thompson. I became enamored with the man after seeing Johnny Depp's performance as Thompson in the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. So much so, that I read the book of the same name and became further intrigued.

His prose has a poetic guilding to it that is most unmistakable and seems to take the reader to the far edge of reality and then over and beyond. This remarkable and troubled man lived through some of the most profoundly influential events in American history including the death of Dr. King, death of RFK, the Watergate Scandal, and even 9/11.

Thompson was the inventor of a journalistic style called Gonzo. Gonzo is also the title of the documentary I have just seen which chronicles the life and times of this extreme individual.

This movie is fittingly narrated by Johnny Depp using the words of Hunter S. Thompson himself and features friends and enemies alike recalling the life and wonder of the Rolling Stone journalist/phenomenon.

Hunter was in constant search of something called the American Dream. His political views were in my opinion very extreme, but there was a lot of heart in the words of his philosophy. This man was no stranger to Free Speech. He has my undying respect for being a truly unique individual, whose only real failing was that he could not respect the limits of his own mortality.

Hunter once said that the only people who know the edge are the ones who have gone over it. I think he was right.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson is or will become a classic among documentary films.

Star Trek Prequel Trailer: This looks exciting.

2008-11-19T11:21:00.002-06:00

Review: JCVD

2008-11-17T16:34:00.002-06:00

First of all, if anybody out there is still reading, apologies for the month-plus disappearing act. College has consumed my soul in such a way that I haven't even been able to write a movie review, which is indeed a sad day. However, I'm back, and with a lot to rant and ramble about.

First off, we have the film "JCVD," which is short for none other than Jean Claude Van Damme, your favorite ass-whupper from Brussels and mine. Now, some people can remember the time during the 1990s when Van Damme was a worldwide action star, and even more probably remember him as the man who introduced John Woo to Hollywood (and by extension, a lot of doves in action movies.) Sadly, though, most know him as the man he is today; a former drug addict who does hilariously bad straight-to-DVD action flicks that, if lucky, are aired on the Sci-Fi channel.

With "JCVD," Van Damme has done something incredibly ballsy, something that merits a great deal of respect. He takes his own mythology and pisses all over it. Most actors are too afraid of taking that step and being able to laugh at their own career, for fear that it will render them a joke, and they fail to realize that they more or less are already. In confronting everything said about him head-on, Van Damme snaps back at all the naysayers.

The film starts off with one of those Van Damme action sequences, with a ton of gunplay, karate and men being killed by JCVD's bare hands. However, the action cuts away to reveal a set, where Van Damme is being mocked by the director for taking his mediocre, cash-in movie too seriously. He plays himself in the film, and not in the winking "Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts" way of the "Ocean's" series. Van Damme is playing himself with all his flaws in tow. He goes to the court hearing for custody of his daughter, and after watching the opposing attorney rattle off a list of all the violence in his movies, his daughter says that she wants to live with her mother, because kids at school make fun of her dad's movies. His agent tells him that he lost out on a STD role to Steven Seagal, because the latter promised to cut off his ponytail for the first time.

After this, and out of money, Van Damme returns to Brussels to try and start again. While simply trying to drop off a letter at the post office, he ends up being roped into a hostage crisis. A police officer sees him in the window and becomes convinced that Van Damme is robbing the bank. He's so far in debt that the police don't even question whether there is probable cause for the stickup. Inside, Van Damme uses his fame to stay alive, but also begins to fear his own death.

If this sounds heavier than a Van Damme movie should be, that's because this is not the kind of movie one would expect. There's actually next to no action in the film, and the toughest Van Damme looks is during the aforementioned scene in the beginning. Van Damme plays himself as a man broken down, who almost wants to relinquish his fame and start his life over, but can't escape the hole he's dug for himself. There is a scene, beautifully handled, in which he levitates above the onscreen action, looks into the camera and directly addresses the audience. For about ten minutes, he tells his side of his story for what seems like the first time, and apologizes for the wrongs he has caused. It's hard to tell at first whether this is part of the movie, but then you realize that it is not; he speaks of his past wives, his drug use and all his other failures with a candor that few other actors would have the courage to exhibit.

Strangely enough, I can see "JCVD" possibly acting as a new beginning for the actor, if he so chooses; this film crushes the Van Damme mythos so thoroughly that if he truly wishes to start again, he may have more films of a higher quality in him after all.

WTF?!: Oldboy remake

2008-11-10T16:26:00.003-06:00

I remember my friend badgering me to watch this foreign film called Oldboy every time I spoke to him. Finally last year I broke down and Netflixed it. Everything my friend said about this film was completely and utterly true. It was a a blood-bath, an emotional rollercoaster, a tear jeaker, and any other cliche idiom film critics say about great movies.

So why the hell would you remake it?

Following the Asian remake trend, Stephen Spielberg and Will Smith are planning to make an American version of Park Chanwook's Oldboy. Why? Profit? I have no idea. The raw and strange subject matter of the film doesn't really seem like either person's cup of tea. Maybe if Martin Sorsese said he was going to remake this, I would be more exicted. But Spielberg is known for his more comtemplative movies, not so much for beat-em-up action films. And adding Will Smith to the mix...ok, just because you did I am Legend (a total watered-down version of the book) does not mean you can take on an incestual/gorey/crazy Asian film. It's like putting Simon and Garfunkle in charge of a bio-pic about The Ramones. It just doesn't mix well.

WTF?!

Friday the 13th Teaser Trailer: OUT 2/13/2009

2008-10-26T16:45:00.001-05:00

Fresh off the web

2008-10-21T18:19:00.003-05:00

The world of blaxploitation has lost one of its heroes. I am talking about the badass Dolemite. The legacy of the signified monkey will live on. For those of you who do not know who he was, well he was a maverick of 1970s black cinema. His real name was Rudy Ray Moore. Part Poet. Part Pimp. He was rapping before rap was cool. And he was, at times, quite fucking hilarious.

Here is something for you all to see.
Censored or uncensored Rudy Ray Moore will be remembered.

For those of you who want something cleaner, here is the badass Dolemite on Arsenio Hall Show

Peace.

Just Don't...

2008-10-12T15:11:00.002-05:00

It's becoming a trend that when I come to work, I search the internet for things to entertain me. Maybe I should start working harder, or maybe I should find a job that's more stimulating. Either way, I don't give a shit because I get paid to watch senseless humor on the internet. I found this video on Funny or Die and, totally agreeing with it's political statement, decided to share it with you fellas:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Film Review: Mother of Tears

2008-10-09T18:05:00.004-05:00

Dario Argento's "Three Mothers" Trilogy has concluded and for those familiar with the films "Suspiria" & "Inferno" it was a long time coming. "In Suspiria", we see the death of the Mother of Sighs, In "Inferno" tells the story of the Mother of Darkness and the Mother of Tears is the third most beautiful and vicious of them all. The general concept of the films comes from the book Suspiria de Profundis, the sequel to Thomas De Quincy's Confessions of an English Opium Eater which is vaguely hinted at in the movie Mother of Tears.

Argento is a edgy storyteller who is not afraid to go there with the gore and blood. Translation: if he cannot scare you, he will go for the gross out. I like that about him.

Well, the story of the Mother of Tears begins at an archaeological dig in which a priest finds a bizarre urn on top of a coffin buried since the 16Th century. The Urn contains three statues representing the 3 mothers and a talisman that belongs to the dreaded Mother of Tears. The urn is sealed and sent to Rome for study. As it turns out, Rome is right where the urn belonged. Unknowingly, Sarah and her colleague break the seal and unearth the contents of the urn and release a demonic plague that effects everyone in the city. Also, unknowingly, Sarah is the only one who can stop the Mother of Tears before she ushers in a second age of witches onto the earth.

Argento chose to put his daughter Asia Argento as the lead character Sarah, an American art student with latent supernatural powers of her own. Asia Argento is also a filmmaker as well as an actress. Very beautiful, she played the part well. Undoubtedly, she must have been familiar with her father's work. Even with her accent heavily pronounced in some scenes she was believable as a naive American damsel in distress.

As a whole, the film was scary, without being pretentious, and sexual without being too pornographic.

There is a scene in which a woman is impaled vaginally with a spear for daring to give Sarah safe haven in her apartment. A boy is gutted on a slab and eaten by demons. I could go on.

The ending is the only thing I have a problem with. Sarah supposedly has powers. She could have learned to use those powers and defeated her witchy foe or not. But, in the end, the all powerful Mother of Tears went out like a bag of trash. See the movie to see what I mean. No spoilers on this one.

I will say this movie has its flaws and failures. But so does Suspiria and Inferno and they are still great films. So is Mother of Tears. It was a long time coming but I am glad I saw it.

Something to brighten your Halloween...

2008-10-04T19:54:00.003-05:00

Since I've already bought my Halloween costume (and I've been looking for one since August), I figured I should post a couple of good trailers for the best holiday EVER. Some are not in English, but who said we need to understand hot booberific woman in sheer terror?

Dos Sno (a Norweigan zombie pic about reanimated Nazi soldiers)
http://www.joblo.com/video/joblo/player.php?video=deadsnow

Sexykiller (Think Paris Hilton and Hannibal Lector combined)
http://www.joblo.com/video/joblo/player.php?video=Sexykiller---Trailer-Final

Dead Girl (A film I will for sure not go see this Halloween, but the boys seem to like it...)
http://www.deadgirlmovie.com/sneak/index.html

Paul Newman: A short but overdue Rememberance

2008-09-29T10:20:00.002-05:00

I found this video on YouTube. There is not enough I can say about this iconic screen legend so I decided to post a visual trubute. This was a man who could play hustlers, underdogs, drunks and rebels with a realism that most of young Hollywood is seriously lacking. On September 26, 2008, Paul Newman (old blue eyes) succumbed to a long battle with cancer surrounded by friends and family. I think those that knew him best were lucky people.

Trailer: Synedoche, New York

2008-09-25T15:26:00.002-05:00

Most people require acid to come up with the things that Charlie Kaufman sees when he closes his eyes. It's telling that, out of his last five movies, two were nominated for Oscars ("Being John Malkovich," "Adaptation") and one took a golden man home ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"). Now, he's taking the director's chair for his first time, and I couldn't be more excited. Mixed things have come out so far; some say "Synedoche, New York" is far too depressing. However, as somebody who considers the incredibly depressing "The Weather Man" to be an unsung gem, I could care less. With Kaufman at the helm, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the lead, I don't see how this could be any less than one of the best movies of the year:

And Now a WTF moment.

2008-09-24T19:09:00.002-05:00

WTF? [Web Rumor]

I never thought I would be against something like this. However, I just can't see it happening. AMERICAN PYSCHO: the musical may be coming to a broadway theatre near you.

Like Dirty Dancing was not enough. American Pyscho's Patrick Bateman (played very well in the film version by Christian Bale) is probably one of the best on screen villians in movie history. And there is a voice inside of my head saying that the move from celluloid to the live stage might be good for the characters and Bret Easton Ellis's story---

But do we really want this. I mean, Sweeney Todd was written for the stage. It works.

American Pyscho (the book) reads like stereo instructions. How do you tranlate that into a live stage play, let alone a musical? Where would one begin?

The musical influence of 80s pop fueling Patrick Bateman's pyschotic excesses might be actually entertaining to see live on stage. But, if it ain't broke and its been done before, why try to fix it and do this again.

I don't know. Once again the entertainment world has me shaking my head.

Leave this movie alone. Please.

Review: Towelhead

2008-09-23T12:30:00.003-05:00

I should've known what I was getting myself into with this movie when, before I even walked into the theater, I was given a focus group survey and asked to fill it out before and after the film. Looking at some of the questions, I was asked whether I liked Aaron Eckhart less after watching it, whether I was offended on a number of levels, and whether I would actually (they used the incredibly loaded word "actually") recommend the film to a friend. I mean, given the title and the subject matter, I knew this was going to be incisive at the very least, but this threw me way off guard.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though. "Towelhead," based on the novel by Alicia Erian, is the story of Jasira Maroun (Summer Bishil), a 13-year-old Lebanese girl living in Gulf War I-era Texas. The film starts off with her mother's (Maria Bello) boyfriend shaving her pubic hair to prevent her from being made fun of at public pools. When her mother finds out, she sends Jasira to live with her traditional, stern father Rifat (Peter Macdissi). On their first morning together, she walks into the kitchen in her semi-skimpy pajamas for breakfast, and Rifat slaps her across the face and tells her to clothe herself.

Compounding the issue is her neighbor, Army reservist Mr. Vuoso (Eckhart), who hires Jasira to watch his son, for reasons none too noble. His son insults Jasira, but also exposes her to Vuoso's porn collection. As a result, Jasira accidentally discovers masturbation, and soon begins to engage in it compulsively, even wiggling back and forth rapidly in her desk chair in class. Vuoso is a slimy bastard in every sense, and this is evident from his first scene onscreen, but for Jasira, who gets called every racist name in the book at school and has no family to turn to, he's an island in a sea of pain. Soon enough, though, he causes her even more pain, both figurative and literal, and Jasira is torn between her love for the attention he shows her and absolute fear of him. Her only saving grace is her other neighbor, Melina (Toni Collette), who sniffs out what's going on almost immediately and begins to care for Jasira like a daughter, even as she's pregnant with her own.

To be sure, there isn't much stiffer material out there than the sexual awakening and exploitation of a 13-year-old girl, but it's a great credit to this film that nothing feels like exploitation. It could have easily become so in the hands of a less talented filmmaker, but Alan Ball ("American Beauty") takes Jasira's story and makes it relatable and painful. The latter goes two ways, really; not only are there some scenes that will test the audience's tolerance, but the film as a whole captures the naivete and awkwardness of adolescent sexuality so accurately that you'd be hard-pressed not to spend the entire film cringing.

What really defines this movie, though, is the phenomenal cast. I couldn't cite anyone else without starting with Bishil, who gives what should be a star-making performance as Jasira. She was eighteen when the film was shot, but looks not a day over thirteen, and it shows; she manages to be doe-eyed and radiant even as horrifying things are happening to and around her. Macdissi is stellar and enraging as her father, who does have her best interests at heart, but is too blinded by his own biases to see who the good and bad people around her truly are. I have met mothers like Bello and Collette's characters, and both actresses, always so wonderful, hit every little nuance of these women right on the head.

I have to give the most credit to Aaron Eckhart, though. A role as sickening as his (and believe me, it is sickening) takes true courage for an actor to take on. Even more fascinating is the fact that he would take on a role of this nature in such close proximity to his star-making turn in "The Dark Knight." His breakthrough performance in "In the Company of Men" was similar in sadistic nature, but this is heavy, heavy stuff, and he must be credited for making Vuoso's actions explicable, without coming off as even remotely sympathetic.

Ball has always trafficked in giving a voice to the unheard, be it the silently suffering suburban father in "American Beauty" or the oppressed vampires on his new television series "True Blood." Now, he's taken on a young girl with nowhere to turn for answers, in a time where people look right through her and see nothing but a war she doesn't even understand. Everything about this film is meant to provoke thought; I don't think it simply exists to provoke, as many critics have said, as it is handled with a class and delicacy that a movie simply meant to enrage could not have.

Fear(s) of the Dark trailer

2008-09-20T15:16:00.002-05:00

I saw some screenshots of this movie on JoBlo last night, and it truly looks creepy. Set to release in late October, this film is comprised of five short animated features all having to do with horror. Combine the awesome storytelling by some of the best contemporary graphic novelists and fluid animation, and you're going to be peeing your pants in fright. Check out the trailer HERE

Film Review: Righteous Kill (Spoiler Alert)

2008-09-19T22:52:00.003-05:00

It was a coin toss between Deniro & Pacino or Sam Jackson in Lakeveiw Terrace. In the end Al and Bobby won.

RIGHTEOUS KILL stars Robert Deniro and Al Pacino as cops so close they almost seem like brothers. Deniro is solid as Lieutenant Turk the narrator of our story and the seemingly plausible suspect in a series of fourteen vigilante murders that are integral to this film's plot.

Turk (Deniro) is the hot head; quick to mouth off at his superiors and anyone else who pisses him off. Lieutenant Fisk aka Rooster (Al Pacino) is the water that cools him down. Rooster is Turk's anchor, his advocate and in some points his conscious trying to direct his partner to do the right thing.

As the story moves forward with Turk as main focal point we barely examine his place in the world as a New York City Cop. The story is told with blips and blurbs and extreme close ups. Even so, from the beginning we are motivated to believe that Turk (Deniro) is the good cop gone very bad. On the other hand, we have Rooster (Al Pacino), who like Turk, is a cop. Unlike Turk, he seems less frustrated with the life of a cop and more accepting of the things he cannot change. At face value, He has faith in his partner and is willing to go to bat for him when the chips are down. Rooster is methodical and calculating where Turk seems to go from his sleeve or his gut.

When murderers, rapists, drug lords, and pimps seem to fall through the cracks of the legal system, they are all later on found dead with a 4 lined poem and gun near the body. As I said before, all the loose ends seem to point at Turk whose frustrations as a cop and a man are more obvious than his guilt. I actually began to think that the killer should be given a medal or some form of absolution that comes from these crime dramas. But, that would have smoothed the true grit and taken away from the sombulant realism of this film and made it more like a film from Lifetime or the Oxygen network. In movies and in life, there is always an order; even if there is no clear right or wrong, their are always choices.

Well, in the end, a killer is revealed and it is not Turk. In movies as in life, there is a time when some things draw to a close and all is revealed. And when the shit hits the fan we see Rooster for what he is--a killer, plain and simple. Rooster is a killer who (overtime because of one mistake) lost the one great faith in his partner. It shakes him too his core and he takes the law into his own hands.

I feel like an idiot, though. I didn't see it coming. All I could keep thinking is when are they going to reveal what made Turk snap. Turk didn't snap. He never snapped. He always says whats on his mind. Never internalizes anything and shoots straight from the hip. Rooster kept his partners secret for 30 years only to try to use it against him in the end.

Rooster snapped.

I am not totally enthralled with this film, but it kept me guessing; it did entertain me.

This movie also stars Carla Gugino, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg, Curtis Jackson (50 Cent) and Brian Dennnehy. A fact not evident in any of the films trailers. Frankly I did not know Brian Dennehy was still alive and if 50 has to get shot by somebody I am glad it was Al Pacino.

Review: Tell No One

2008-09-18T19:00:00.000-05:00

The premise of “Tell No One” sounds like it wouldn’t be out of place in either an M. Night Shyamalan film or a teen slasher flick: While out skinny dipping one night, a man’s wife is dragged into the woods, screaming. As he tries to climb out of the water, the husband is attacked and left for dead. Eight years later, he starts to receive emails from his (presumably) deceased wife. And that’s just the beginning.

A film like this is difficult to review at best, impossible at worst, in no small part due to the fact that its plot has twists within twists on top of more twists, not to mention a strange habit of doubling things (which I’ll expand on later) that leaves you wondering at times just what is going on. Despite this, I’ll try to explain it as best I can without spoiling too much. After the unfortunate demise of his wife Margot (Marie-Josée Croze, who also starred in last year’s “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”), Alex (François Cluzet) spends his time working as a pediatrician and trying to forget about all that happened. However, he goes to see his in-laws on the anniversary of his wife’s death every year. On the eighth anniversary, he receives an email from Margot, with a link to a world webcam that shows her alive and well.

Alex begins to question whether she is dead, or if something else is at work. This proves to be a terrible move, as the police were never entirely convinced of his innocence (If he was knocked into a lake, how and why was he found comatose on a pier?) and begin to consider whether the case might have to be reopened. When a trail of bodies starts piling up as the result (direct and indirect) of this email, all signs point to Alex, forcing him to go on the run; both figuratively and literally, as one of the film’s high points is a heart-stopping chase on foot across a crowded highway and through a city. Special note must be made of Cluzet’s performance, which he knocks out of the park in a film that would have lived or died by him; no other character has anywhere close to as much screen time.

As the tale unspools, subplots appear by the gross, involving pedophilia, a trio of torture-happy mercenaries and a street thug who takes Alex in at a pivotal moment to repay him for saving his son’s life years before. There is also the matter of doubling that I mentioned earlier, and by that I mean that many of the characters have similar names, appearances or storylines connected to them that directly reflect another. One major character is referred to under multiple pseudonyms throughout the film, and if this wasn’t hard enough to follow, the film is also in French, with English subtitles. Don’t let this minor quibble or the language barrier dissuade you, though; “Tell No One” is a nail-biting thriller of the highest order.

The Netflix Movie Watching World Championship

2008-09-16T18:56:00.002-05:00

I was making my movie news rounds for the day, when I happened upon a story regarding the Netflix Movie Watching Championships. Check this out: A glass box will be set up in Times Square from October 2nd - 7th, where participants will watch movies nonstop. The minute their eyes leave the screen, they will be eliminated. Competitors are racing to top the all-time world record of 120 hours and 23 minutes, set under these rules.

Now, you might be asking yourself questions like "How does the human body survive something like that?" or "Who in their right mind would do something like this?" The answers to those questions are, in order, I don't know and me. I fully intend to audition by putting my video on the Facebook page (at least, once I decipher this insanity that is New Facebook.) However, let's go back to that first question for a second.

How can somebody do this without a fuckload of Monster, methamphetamines or both? Sheer will power. With the proper training and lifestyle, a good 50-60 hours is very doable, and that will probably be enough to win the contest, if not the world record. Think about this: If you were to go to a movie theater for one day, from around ten in the morning until eleven at night, you've already hit over twelve hours. This contest wouldn't work for everybody, though. Only a dedicated film geek with a desire to do something this audacious and the proper training that can only come from years of spending whole weekends watching movie after movie could pull this off.

What interested me most about this contest is the thought of what movies would be shown. I doubt the participants would get to pick; if anything, one would assume that the Netflix people would throw in boring, unwatchable movies to try and break concentration. Now, and I'd love to hear my fellow writers' takes on this, if I were to try this, I'd have to be able to pick my own stuff, but there are very few things that could make me look away from the screen. Therefore, as I often do on here, two lists to that effect, to conclude today's post:

Movies I'd string together for an ungodly amount of hours:
The filmography of Kevin Smith, excluding Jersey Girl.
Anything that Judd Apatow has written, directed or produced in the past five years.
The filmography of P.T. Anderson, which alone would eat up about ten to twelve hours.
Really unnecessarily long stuff, like Lawrence of Arabia or whatever that Civil War movie was that came out when I was in 8th grade. The only thing I remember about it was that I got extra credit for seeing it.
Porn. Call me a terrible person, but if I'm in the 30-somethingth hour of this endeavor, I need something that'll wake me the fuck up.

Movies that I couldn't take:
The Hills Have Eyes remake. I couldn't watch most of it the first time, and disgust would likely win out.
Un Chien Andalou. Do me a favor. If you don't know what this is, Google it. If you do, you'll know the scene that would make me have to look away.
Even though I didn't factor in all the TV shows I could watch on DVD in the positives section, if that counted, all my mind keeps going back to is a forced marathon of The Hills. When considering that and the fact that my sleep-deprived ass would be on display in NYC, I think I just figured out what my room in hell would look like.

A Series of Film Reviews in Two Sentences or Less

2008-09-14T16:10:00.002-05:00

In the past 72 hours, I saw 7 1/2 movies. Given that I'm still hung over (yes, at 4 in the afternoon) and don't have full-length work in me, I'm going to try and review them all in two sentences or less. Ready? Break on three. One...two...DUCKS FLY TOGETHER!

(I apologize. I'm not all there today, and I'm watching the first Mighty Ducks movie on cable. Those are still the shit.)

Thursday:

Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Still my favorite movie of this year. Also, the Brew & View is amazing, when I disregard the fact that it totally looked like somebody came all over the seat I was in.

Friday:

Burn After Reading: The Coens still have it. And by "it", I mean the ability to make a quality movie that doesn't feel like your soul has been ripped out of your body after two hours.

Bangkok Dangerous: There's a scene where Nicholas Cage kills people while a deaf-mute lady he's out with is just smiling and walking around. This is pretty much my illustration of how hilarious and terrible this movie was.

Elegy: Ben Kingsley is a phenomenal actor, and even though Penelope Cruz is naked in nearly every movie she does, it's still always a treat. This being said, this is depressing as all hell.

Righteous Kill: Ladies and gentlemen, exhibit A in what happens when talented actors sleep through a movie and collect a paycheck. The rough sex scenes with Carla Gugino were just funny, because there was absolutely no context for any of them.

The Dark Knight: So I only watched the first hour again. But dude...I think "I'm not wearing hockey pads" might be my favorite line out of any movie this year.

Saturday:

Tell No One: I always used to make fun of French movies, because I always saw them as boring and pretentious. After watching this, and "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" last year, I would like to take this opportunity to eat my words.

Sukiyaki Western Django: This should've been cooler than it really was. And subtitled, because teaching Japanese people to speak English phonetically and with Southern accents was just not a good idea.

Trailer: CHOKE

2008-09-13T13:41:00.000-05:00

From the author of Fight Club.

A wickedly colorful dark comedy about mothers and sons, sexual compulsion, and the sordid underbelly of colonial theme parks. Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell), a sex-addicted med-school dropout, who keeps his increasingly deranged mother, Ida (Anjelica Huston), in an expensive private medical hospital by working days as a historical reenactor at a colonial-era theme park.

THEMATIC Film Review: I AM LEGEND & THE LOST BOYS: The Tribe

2008-09-12T21:29:00.003-05:00

I had the pleasure of watching the premiere of HBO's new vampire series True Blood starring Anna Paquin (XMEN FILMS)and I became nostalgic for vampire cinema. As a part time monster aficionado, I will admit I love the myth and lore surrounding the vampire very much.

I decided to rent two films I had yet seen that were in the vein of that horror genre.

First, I shall review 2007s I AM LEGEND starring Will Smith. I will admit I was against seeing this film because I love the Richard Matheson novel too much. I did not think that Will Smith could do the main character any justice. I was wrong.

The story opens with a news program interviewing a specialist (played by Emma Thompson) who announces a rather radical cure for cancer. The cure is a virus that has been altered to attack the cancer. What the miracle cure does is turn its hosts into sunlight abhorring flesh eating vampires, or zombies, if you will.

I realize vampires are not zombies, but this movie is based on one of the most highly noted vampire novels of our time so, I let that slide.

Anyway, Robert Neville (Will Smith) is seemingly the lone survivor of this world wide catastrophe. Alone in New York City, he fights to survive and find a cure to the virus that he is apparently immune to with his only company being a dog named Samantha.

It is a bleak and hopeless existence for Robert, but like the tag line says "The Last man on Earth is not alone." He is found by survivors Anna and Ethan while on a suicide mission to avenge the death of Samantha, his dog.

In an interesting twist, the writers of the film decided to inject the idea of faith into the story line. Anna tells Robert that God lead her to him and he retorts that there is no God. The exchange between these two characters shows us alot about what the last 3 years in isolation had done to Robert Neville. It had crippled him spiritually, emotionally, and then finally mentally. In the face a real hope and the chance to start life anew, Robert couldn't let go of the past and his duty: to stay at his post and find a cure.

By the climatic ending, where he is screaming "let me save you" at the human monsters, I shed a tear. Yes, I actually cried during a sci fi/horror movie. I guess I was so far into it, I forgot to be critical. I have to say that this movie is worth seeing again and that Will Smith (sick as I may be of him trying to save the world) is a damn fine actor who can carry a film on his own.
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THE LOST BOYS: The Tribe also had a nostalgic flair for me. And no, I did not want to see this one either. Without Keifer Sutherland, I knew it just would not be the same. His performance is what I loved about the first movie. I relished his sexiness and his edge that he brought to that movie.

But, you can't always get what you want. And what I wanted was to see more of Corey Feldman and more of Corey Haim together in this film. What I got of that was two seconds. And what of the other Frog brother. Well, he is dead. or rather undead if you view the deleted scenes (alternate endings) you know what I am talking about.

Anyway, the story of the TRIBE begins with brother and sister Chris and Nicole Emerson moving to Luna Bay to start a new life after their parents die. Nicole meets and falls in love with Shane Powers (played by Angus Sutherland, Keifer's half brother). At a party, she drinks his blood. Enter Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman), vampire slayer, who informs her brother that his sister is a suck monkey and they are going to half to kill the head vampire in order to save her immortal soul.

I was not as assumed as I was with the first film. The Tribe is just not that funny. With the exception of Corey Feldman, I didn't really care about the characters that much. But I stayed for the end and it was worth it.

I won't go into the whole Freudian\psuedo sexual angles (of which there are many) of this picture. I will say I was mildly entertained. THE LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE is a nice throw back to my youth. Would I pay to see it again? Maybe.

I mean, why not. Ok, I would. I love vampires too much, not too. I just wish they had made a better picture.

Ten Observations I Made While Failing To Get Into A Free Screening Of "Burn After Reading"

2008-09-10T20:33:00.003-05:00

1. There goes my only post idea for the day. I have nothing to review.

2. Those bitches in the next line over are carrying a pizza. That's just mean, dude.

3. People keep cutting into this line. I'm making the next one faceplant, I swear to God.

4. And now an old guy's doing it. He should know better. I will take his Medicare away.

5. Maybe I can see something else if I don't get in. Perhaps "Mamma Mia!". I'd have to give up my remaining man card, though, the one that I didn't lose when I shamelessly watched "Love Actually" on a pseudo-date. It didn't work, either.

6. I hate hands-free cell phones. Especially when someone is talking to someone else who shares my name.

7. They're moving the lines....Oh, shit. Dude, we got here an hour and a half early.

8. I know for a fact that the theater this is being shown in is NOT filled to capacity. You, sir, are filled with lies!

9. They're giving out free passes for an upcoming screening of "Eagle Eye". That is hardly a consolation prize.

10. I feel like I'm getting a little abrasive over not getting my free movie. This being said, fuck AMC.

This Just IN, BATFANS . . .

2008-09-09T23:16:00.003-05:00

According to the rumor mill both on and off the web, Michael Caine, (Alfred) let this juicy tidbit slip to a reporter:

The Riddler will be played by none other than Johnny Depp and The Penguin will be played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the next BATMAN film.

Do I want this to be true? Yes.

How did I here this? On the radio, Q101 during the long drive home. According to the Manno brothers, Michael Caine's Verbal SNAFU may be our gain.

Stay tuned.

The Best Fan Poster Ever

2008-09-08T12:12:00.002-05:00

Okay, so this is fantastic. Granted, the Riddler being the next Batman villain is merely a rumor, especially when Chris Nolan hasn't even signed on for a third movie yet, this makes an argument for how awesome it could be. And yes, I realize this has been around for a couple weeks, I've kept forgetting to post it.

New clip from Me and Orson Welles

2008-09-06T15:02:00.003-05:00

I've been a Welles fanatic since I saw Citizen Kane my freshman year of high school. While everyone else slept in their desks, I sat up enraptured by this Kenosha native and his seductive voice. When I heard they were making a film chronicling his theater days at the Mercury while performing an all-black version of Macbeth, I was pumped. When I heard Zac Efron was going to be in it, I wasn't so much anymore. But this clip, courtesy of JoBlo, inspires some faith in me. Christian McKay isn't the Orson Welles I want, but he's ok for the part. I'm assuming it's going to be more about hottie Efron and his lurid love affair with Claire Danes. Check it out here:

Review: Man On Wire

2008-09-05T23:21:00.003-05:00

While watching "Man On Wire", I was reminded of something said by Heath Ledger's Joker in "The Dark Knight": "I don't make plans, I just do things." This was a philosophy shared by Phillipe Petit, the Frenchman who walked a tightrope strung between the tops of the two World Trade Center towers in 1974. He amassed a motley crew of men that had never rigged tightrope before, and with only a dream and a lot of nerve on his side, they managed to break into the building.

However, "Man On Wire" isn't so much about the actual tightrope walk (though the footage and photographs of it are absolutely stunning) as it is about Petit himself. He started off as a street performer, walking between stoplights and riding a unicycle through the streets. One day, while sitting in a dentist's office, he saw a photograph announcing the construction of the Twin Towers, and decided that he was destined to conquer them.

He started off "small", walking across the towers of the Notre Dame cathedral, and those of a bridge in Sydney. As Petit's friends speak of him, you can tell that the man had one of those irresistable personalities, the kind that can make those around him do anything he wants. History has shown that people like that will use this power for evil, but Petit just wanted to pursue a dream.

The real marvel of this film, though, is Petit himself. Still alive and kicking (and walking tightrope), he narrates the craziest of all his adventures with a wild-eyed childishness about him. He talks a mile a minute, often leaping around to re-enact every aspect of this adventure. We find out that Petit plotted the break-in as meticulously as a bank heist, and when he arrived, everything went awry.

Not only is the film deeply engaging, but it's also laugh-out-loud funny at times, particularly due to the black-and-white re-enactments of their ascent to the top of the towers. At one point, Petit and an associate were trapped by a guard, leading to them lying together, entwined under a tarp for several hours, motionless. They also posed as French journalists in order to wander the roof and take photos. When this led to Petit stepping on a nail, he was overjoyed, as being incapacitated allowed him to move freely without being asked questions.

I really can't do justice to how profoundly inspiring this film is; it's one of those that really has to be seen to be believed. And yes, there are many shots of the Twin Towers, but in an era where studios are now digitally editing the towers out of old films in order to avoid upsetting people, I couldn't think of a more fitting tribute than the story of a man who spent his life in love with them.

Assorted Failures of the MPAA at Life

2008-09-03T09:01:00.003-05:00

(The first in an occasional series.)

About an hour ago, I was scanning movie news sites for the morning updates, and I happened upon an article that, even by the highly suspect standards of the MPAA, was particularly enraging. Before you continue reading, take a look at the article here: http://joblo.com/banned-zack-miri-art.

Now, consider the poster in that article. Yeah, it's a double entendre. Yeah, they're hinting at oral. However, first off, I had to give it more than one look to even notice the hair at the bottom. Plus, as the writer in the article said, the MPAA essentially banned this poster to protect children who wouldn't know what the hell was going on here. And if they do, honestly, there are bigger problems going on. (Brief note: I wouldn't be shocked if they did. Thanks to today's popular culture, I had to explain to my poor mother what "Superman that ho" means after my sister came home singing it.)

This is really just the latest illustration of the MPAA's ongoing crusade to teach our nation's youth that violence is okay as long as it doesn't involve any sex or nudity. Case in point: the first "Saw V" poster released had a man wearing Jigsaw's face as a mask, with visible hooks in his skin. Even better, think back to last year, when the widely released "300" poster featured men being forced off a cliff, with blood spatter all over the place. Because, you know, that's so much worse than a play on the film's title, featuring two completely clothed people.

Then again, there might be something else at work here. This might be the point where my argument starts to stretch a little, but think about this. The MPAA became notorious in the documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated" (if you haven't seen it, please do) when filmmaker Kirby Dick pointed out that men recieving oral sex onscreen has been deemed far more acceptable than a woman recieving it. Case in point: think of any teen sex comedy centered around guys, that got an R without much trouble. Then, look at "The Cooler" or "A History of Violence", which both featured Maria Bello getting head, and both of which struggled to get even an R rating. Now, I could do another post on how this, along with god-awful cliches relating to onscreen sex scenes in general, is basically dooming a nation of young men to be singular-minded, piss-poor lovers, but I'll try to restrain myself.

The point is, the MPAA's moral spectrum is completely out of whack. If this is really so disconcerting to them that they'd ban this from the U.S., but don't have issues with the incredibly fucking disturbing One Missed Call poster from earlier this year, something's not right.

Don La Fontaine dies at age 68, Movie Voiceover Master

2008-09-02T13:02:00.004-05:00

I was surfing the web and saw this blurb on the ET website. Don was only 68 years old when he passed away. He is responsible for the voice overs of over 5000 film trailers, and 750,000 television spots for the past 25 years. Some good and some not so good.

He can be more recently be seen paroding himself in Geico Insurance commericals.

"Payback. This time its for real."

www.donlafontaine.com contains more information about the man, his voice and life.

Here is more from the man. In a world, where often the trailers are the most anticipated part of the movie going experience, he will be missed.

Review: Babylon A.D.

2008-09-01T09:42:00.002-05:00

Writing a negative review of "Babylon A.D." makes me feel like the world's biggest bully. This is due to the fact that Matthieu Kassovitz, the director, has more or less disowned his movie, claiming that Fox hijacked the production and completely destroyed his vision of the film. Word has it that somewhere between fifteen and seventy minutes of the film were cut out for the theatrical release, so that it could be distilled down to a more action-centric, marketable film. This is just another of those unfortunate cases where a director comes to Hollywood and gets sucked into the vacuum.

But, let me get to the film before I light into it any further. "Babylon" is the story of Toorop (Vin Diesel), a mercenary living in a futuristic version of the Eastern Bloc. He lives in a run-down tenement, taking work when he can, until one day, when Gorsky (an unrecognizable Gerard Depardieu) contacts Toorop with an assignment. He has to smuggle a young girl named Aurora (Melanie Thierry) into America within a week. For reasons never fully explained, Toorop is registered as a terrorist in America and cannot re-enter, but Gorsky promises him safe passage, and Toorop sees his shot at a new life. He sets out with Aurora and her protector, Sister Rebeka (Michelle Yeoh), only to find that more than one party has an interest in Aurora, and are willing to kill Toorop to get their hands on her.

The first half of the film is pretty interesting, at least if you enjoy films within the post-apocalypse subgenre. The trio end up fighting their way through a crowded boatyard, a debaucherous nightclub and a snowy mountain, among other areas, and along the way, Toorop begins to figure out that there is far more to Aurora than he was told about when he took the job. Up to this point, the film is fairly entertaining, though it's somewhat obvious that Kassovitz intended for this to be more in the vein of "Blade Runner", rather than a faceless action-sci-fi film.

Then, I'm not quite sure what happened at this point in the production, but without giving too much away, the film attempts to turn into "Children of Men", and absolutely rips through the logic behind this within a half hour. This is where the tampering with the final cut becomes grossly evident, as the film jumps from one major plot point to the next without any real explanation. There is a point where a major character is killed off, and the film spends, at most, five seconds on this before jumping to the next scene. The biggest plot twist of the film is introduced right before a major action sequence, and as a result, you forget until near the end of the film about it, and then the film wraps itself up with a happy ending that comes so far out of left field that when the credits roll, you'll just be left scratching your head.

The real shame here is that this film, in the right hands, could have been a great philosophical science fiction film, in the vein of "The Matrix" or the aforementioned "Children of Men." This was rendered impossible by editing that indicates Fox wanted to sell this to twelve-year-old boys with the smallest of attention spans, and the inexcusably short running time (no good science fiction film can tell its story in 89 minutes.) Instead, all we get is a failed opportunity, and a sad return to theaters for Diesel, one of the better action stars going today. If the director's cut of this film ever surfaces, I would genuinely like to see it, because there is a great movie buried in here somewhere. It just never got set free.

Ten Reasons You Need To Go Out And See "Death Race".

2008-08-30T22:40:00.002-05:00

1. Because even though Paul W.S. Anderson managed to make two bad "Alien Vs. Predator" movies, the fact remains that homeboy directed "Mortal Kombat". If we give him our money, maybe we'll see more of the Highlander as Raiden and Sub-Zero being frozen and killed. Especially the latter. I don't care if it didn't make sense, that shit was awesome.

2. Jason Statham is ripped as hell. Seriously. That dude could use me as dental floss. And then claim all the women in my family with a single brooding gaze.

3. All the navigators, "bused in from the female prison", look like models. Not one of them has a mullet or a moustache thicker than any I could grow. Therefore, this is the best fantasy flick since the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

4. A guy gets killed by the side of a moving car. I'm pretty sure it was by the door of the car. I really don't have some cute punchline for this one. That's just really, really metal.

5. For all the video games that have been (poorly) turned into films over the years, this is the first film that truly needs to become a video game. There are level-up pads on the racetrack, one-dimensional prison badasses and even introductory shots of said badasses that look like "Character Select" screens. I would play the shit out of this game, even if it'd basically be "Twisted Metal Black" without the scary-ass clown.

6. Hearing acclaimed, award-winning actors swear profusely and for no valid reason is always fun. When Morgan Freeman did it in "Wanted", I cheered. When Joan Allen drops "cocksucker" in this, I achieved enlightenment.

7. At one point, Statham stops his car mid-race to snap a white supremacist's neck. Now, as much as I hate neo-Nazis, if I'm in something called the Death Race, I'm staying in my armor-plated car. I wouldn't be trying to tempt the guys who have machine guns strapped to their hoods.

8. Relating to my last point, if my navigator looked like Natalie Martinez, I'd never leave the damn car. Especially if I was Jason Statham. We'd have the greatest children ever. They'd be gorgeous and able to survive a mile-high fall from a helicopter.

9. There's a guy named Pachinko. I don't remember which one he was or what his car looked like or anything else. I just remember that he made me think of this, which bought true joy back into my life.

10. What else do you have to see this weekend? "Babylon A.D." should only be viewed when the version that Fox didn't ruin comes to light (review of that one coming Monday), and the weekend's other new release is "Disaster Movie". God kills a kitten for every ticket sold for "Disaster Movie". Think of the kittens.

Movie Trailer: Blood Night

2008-08-29T14:39:00.003-05:00

In honor of my favorite movie genre, I am putting this trailer up. Blood Night: the story of Mary Hatchett.

I am looking forward to this.

This is an independent feature starring Nate Dushku, Bill Moseley, Danielle Harris and Samantha Facchi. Directed and written by Frank Sabatella

For more on the movie visit www.fangoria.com or www.bloodnightmovie.com

WTF?!: Facebook movie

2008-08-29T12:42:00.004-05:00

I'm finding more and more things to write about in the pseudo-column of mine. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is that this becomes a more regular column. The bad thing is that Hollywood is going down the shitter more every day.

College kids and high schoolers alike love Facebook. It lets us network with classmates, but mostly stalk those that we find attractive. So what better to do then make a movie about it?! Aaron Sorkin, responsible for the hit television series The West Wing and the screenplay for A Few Good Men, has decided to use his literary talents to write a screenplay about the creation of Facebook through it's inventors. It's like the American dream. Guy eats a bunch of Dorito's and creates one of the biggest social networking websites around. Hell, even Tom on MySpace went to film school! Maybe he can make a movie about MySpace if the Facebook venture goes well. Sorkin has created a Facebook page to let it's users help in the process, so that he can better understand the website. There are articles detailing this all over the internet, but I found The Onion's coverage to be the most accurate and entertaining.

WTF world, why must you make me lose faith in this industry....

Review: Hamlet 2

2008-08-28T14:37:00.002-05:00

"Hamlet 2" caused me to feel a sentiment towards it that I've never felt towards a movie before: I felt like I had seen it all before, but I didn't see this as a bad thing in any way. The film is like a strange amalgamation of the inspirational teacher movie, the struggling artist movie and the dysfunctional class of students movie, all thrown together by the writer of "Team America: World Police", which in case you forgot is the movie that prominently featured puppets boning in every position imaginable. Based on the above sentence, you probably now have a pretty good idea of just what you're in for.

The center of "Hamlet 2" is Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan), a failed actor who refuses to accept failure. What makes his character so interesting is that unlike most characters in this vein (the struggling actor who refuses to admit he's not talented), Marschz is fully and completely aware that he's not all that talented. He's so stubbornly attached to his dream that his lack of talent is merely a trifle. He works at a high school for free to share his love of drama; this love is shared with two suck-up students and a class full of Latino students who are totally indifferent and only joined the class because it was the only arts elective left. His arch-enemy is a tiny boy who viciously criticizes his stage adaptations of works of art like "Erin Brockovich". At home, he's no better off. His wife (Catherine Keener) can't be near him without sarcastically criticizing his work and his inability to impregnate her.

When he is told that the drama program is being shut down, he desperately puts together "Hamlet 2", a sequel to the Shakespearean play that involves a time machine, Hillary Clinton, Einstein and Jesus. Also, lightsabers. The moment the town finds out about this, Marschz is thrown out of school, and all of a sudden Tuscon, Arizona becomes a hotbed for the free speech vs. smut debate.

While the film seems to be attempting to make a larger point about free expression, it surrounds itself in a great deal of cliches. Occasionally, it notices this, and there's a hilarious scene, such as when Marschz tells a student to punch him after watching "Dangerous Minds" and deciding to engage in tough-love teaching. More often, though, it collapses under its own weight. Coogan does the best he can with the writing, and manages to make even the most overplayed of jokes (Oh no, the fool got his hand stuck in a door!) funny. Even more so than in "Tropic Thunder", Coogan shows here the sort of devilish wit and willingness to revel in his own indignity that made him so popular abroad. Despite his performance (and that of a game Elisabeth Shue, who trashes her own borderline-forgotten career for some knowing laughs), there are too many easy jokes (the girl who keeps getting hit in the head with random objects) and random moments of after-school-special sentimentality that'd seem more at home in "Dead Poets Society" than in an R-rated comedy.

While we're on the subject, it's been a while since I've felt this about a movie, but it needs to be said: Given some of the content in play here, "Hamlet 2" actually isn't R-rated enough. When a film ends with a song-and-dance number entitled "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus", complete with the Messiah doing a moonwalk across water, the film has to keep up. It feels like the shocking final performance of "Hamlet 2", by far the funniest part of the film, is a third-act stretch to add shock value to a movie that seems like it should've had more of it building to that point. The film is more or less a screwball comedy (albeit a profane one) up until that point, and then it veers wildly into satirical territory. The problem is, when it hits this point, it's actually not offensive enough to be considered intelligent in the way that the "South Park" film is. It's just...well, it's just kind of there.

"Hamlet 2" isn't really a bad movie, but it feels like, with a few exceptions, both a mockery and a collage of movies I've seen before. This isn't a bad thing, and Coogan alone makes it worth watching, but it's nothing hugely special. Then again, maybe I'm just desensitized by the fact that the past month has bought us a work of madcap genius ("Pineapple Express") and a film that did the filthy-funny satire bit better ("Tropic Thunder"), and there was no room for a "Hamlet 2".

Review: In Search of a Midnight Kiss

2008-08-27T10:34:00.002-05:00

I've done nothing but watch movies for the past week, but as a result, I've been slacking in my blogging duties. Starting today, however, I have a glut of material to work with. I figured I'd start with a little indie movie that I only heard about through the Landmark Theatres website, and that might just be one of my favorite films of the year so far.

"In Search of a Midnight Kiss" is the story of Wilson (Scoot McNairy), a screenwriter who moved to Hollywood with starry eyes and a screenplay that'd help him make it big. Soon after arriving, his laptop, holding the only copy of the screenplay, was stolen, and his girlfriend left him when he moved away from Texas. Our first impression of Wilson comes as he's photoshopping the face of his roommate's girlfriend onto porn for the sake of jerking off to her. Not only does his roommate walk in and see this, but he then brings the girlfriend in too. Within ten minutes of the movie, all I wanted to do was give the poor guy a hug.

His roommate, Jacob (Brian McGuire) is a longtime friend, though, and rather than get indignant, he decides to help Wilson. Since losing his screenplay, Wilson has done nothing but pass his days smoking a ton of pot and eating ice cream. It's New Year's Eve, and it looks like Wilson will be doing more of the same. Jacob goads Wilson into putting up a dating ad on Craigslist, which Wilson starts off with the words "Misanthrope seeking Misanthrope". Strangely enough, he gets a response from a woman, who calls him for a meeting and says he has ten minutes to impress her. Wilson runs with this, and ends up paired with Vivian (Sara Simmonds). After these ten minutes, Wilson can tell she's fairly out of her mind. She's the kind of girl who's constantly engaging guys in psychological warfare just to test their merit, while also simultaneously drawing them close and holding them at arm's length. She tells Wilson that he has until six o' clock to show her that he's worth staying with all night. As they wander the streets of Los Angeles, they begin to let each other in, little by little.

If this sounds like "Before Sunrise", there are definitely a lot of similarities, right down to the two films sharing a producer. However, where "Sunrise" featured two young, idealistic pseudo-bohemians wandering through scenic Vienna and pondering life and the hope embodied by the future, "Midnight Kiss" is far less bright-eyed. The film is shot in gorgeous black-and-white, and the protagonists are a pair that might be meant for each other, but couldn't really function with anyone else. He's an insecure, dejected mess; she pops pills and compulsively lies to avoid telling even herself the truth.

As their night stretches on, they encounter a psychotic ex-husband, a party where a relationship is stretched to the limit before their very eyes and the very real issue of having to enjoy one's midnight kiss while stranded in deadlocked traffic. More importantly, though, Wilson starts to break through to Vivian, through all the walls she's built up for herself, and they both find something a little redeeming in each other.

The ending is not the one most people would expect or want, but it's the most honest one that this film could possibly have had. Really, it's perfect for this time of year. The summer is drawing to a close, and those wonderful, fleeting romances are coming to an end. Sometimes, though, even if it's for the summer, or just for one night on one New Year's Eve, finding that right person to kiss is all that has to matter, or will ever matter, and the morning never has to come.

WTF!?: New Catwoman Annoucement

2008-08-25T14:30:00.003-05:00

Leave it to my room mate to again ruin my day with news from Perez Hilton. According to his blog post, singer Cher is in talks to play a more mature Catwoman opposite Christian Bale in the new Batman film. A studio executive (which really means nothing) said that Christopher Nolan wants the gay icon to play a vampy version of the villain in her twilight years.

Hello God, it's me Amy. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN! Catwoman has been one of my favorite villains in the Batman universe next to the Joker. So far all the villains have been excellent in Nolan's movies. Why make Catwoman older? Michelle Pfeiffer wasn't old when she played Catwoman, and her performance inspired me to wear only Catwoman gear for a year. She suppose to be this sexy thief and they want to make her this throaty old fart. I actually read on another website that Angelina Jolie is also being considered for the part. I think she'd be a much more fitting actress for the part. She's younger but still mature, with that harder edge that Cher could never possess. Plus, I think Jolie has the perfect body to play a fearless Bat villain. I'm straight but those lips? Anyone would want to see Nolan's awesome dialogue come out of those. I really hope Nolan is kidding about Cher. Otherwise, I might cry.

WTF...

FILM REVIEW: THE HAND

2008-08-25T14:05:00.003-05:00

I was feeling nostalgic and a little down while shopping after work. In the FYE entertainment store, I came across a film I could barely remember. Something really bloody from my past that had chilled me to the bone and had caused me to cover my eyes and ears at every turn.

I am speaking about THE HAND starring Micheal Caine (Alfred in the DARK KNIGHT)and written and directed by Oliver Stone.

Yes, that Oliver Stone. I had thought he was above horror movies and was more or less into producing and directing historical dramas like "Born on the Fourth of July". But, I digress.

THE HAND is a psychological horror about a gifted cartoonist whose life as he knows it officially comes to an end when his left hand (his drawing hand) is accidentally severed. Remarkably, as he tries to adjust to being maimed for life, darkness creeps inside of his subconsciousness. He begins to have blackouts, and people who stand in his way begin to die.

But, is it the man who is committing these murders or is it his severed hand acting demonically on its own?

Carlo Rambaldi is responsible for the special effects in this feature. Reportedly, designing a different hand for each scene: A crawling hand, walking hand, a strangling hand, a hand slowly decomposing, etc. Over 30 different hands in all.

The movie as a whole has very Hitchcock feel to it. We don't see the cartoonist committing the murders. Instead we see his severed hand do the dirty deeds. It leads the audience to wonder how culpable the cartoonist really is and sane he really is.

I found it interesting that it was his left hand that was severed. The left side of things is often reserved for evil deeds while the right is for good. For Michael Caine's character, the left hand is his most deepest repressed desires coming into fruition. He know what he wants, and he takes what he wants. Be damned anyone who stands in his way.

However, it is the goodness of his whole nature that cannot stand it. So the left hand acts on its own.

This was a really interesting and terrifying film. Micheal Caine gives a wonderful performance and holds the whole film together while his character comes apart bit by bit. We don't feel for anyone but him as he tries to hold himself together in the face of an uprooted life, a non supportive wife, and sheer madness.

All in all a very good film.

My Winnipeg

2008-08-18T11:40:00.003-05:00

So there's a film society in Downers Grove, IL that convenes once every two weeks. I'm a member (or at least I was until this month, when I ran out of money), and when I looked into the next film that they're showing, titled "Guy Maddin's My Winnipeg", I didn't know what to think. It looks like a pseudo-documentary by way of early Russian cinema, and that's not even scratching the surface.

SOUTHLAND TALES

2008-08-18T10:09:00.002-05:00

I doubt that I can write a review that will do this film justice. But, I will try.

Imagine if you will with me: What if you have two people who are exactly the same? So much so that they are the same soul walking the same earth. Now what if these two entities were to shake hands?

Well, that would be the end of the fourth dimension and the world as we know it.

I am not kidding. Not since Donnie Darko has my mind been so thoroughly warped by a movie.

SOUTHLAND TALES stars Dwayne "Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar (as a porn star), Shawn William Scott (as the 4th dimensional anomaly) and also has Zelda Rubenstein, Kevin Smith, Will Sasso, Sheri Oteri, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore and Bai Ling, etc. In a story set in 2008 and narrated by Justin Timberlake.

Yall with me so far?

Ok, it is the eve of a major election just after the beginning of World War 3, the internet is monitored, filtered and policed by the government to the point of 1983 proportions and forces have aligned themselves to fix the election. But until the end, it is hard to tell which forces are doing what. And it is also 3 days until the world ends.

Well, the story centers around action film star Boxer Santaros (Johnson) who has apparently lost his memory. Who doesn't know who he is and doesn't remember his wife (a senators daughter played by Mandy Moore) or anything about his life.

He is found by Sarah Michelle Gellar's character Krista Now who seeemingly falls in love with him while using him to further her career. She holds him up in a Malibu beach front condo where they have written a screen play together.

The screenplay is a mute plot device kinda like this review is a mute and futile attempt at explaining a picture that went a thousand miles over my head at times.

Like the film Magnolia, all of these charaters are connected, and all them seem to act for the benefit of themselves.

The story was weak at some points, but the acting was solid in most cases.

The big revelation at the end should shock some and piss off others. At this time, I don't know what it is that I am.

I should have taken notes or something.

So how does the world end? Not with a whimper, but with a bang.

Tripping the Web: 8/16

2008-08-16T17:28:00.002-05:00

News Item: "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" has been delayed until July of 2009, in order to strengthen Warner Brothers' lineup for next summer.
What you need to know: Well, this sucks. I'll openly admit I camped out for the last three books, and I was really excited to see how they'd translate a book as flashback-intensive as the sixth one. This makes sense, though, because WB's two biggest films for the first half of 2009 are "Watchmen" and "Terminator: Salvation," both of which are going to be rated R. Plus, after "The Dark Knight," it's not like they're short on cash at the moment.

News Item: About a day after "Half-Blood Prince" was moved, the film version of "Twilight" was moved up into its place.
What you need to know: I guess it's a strong move, given that it seems like the same set of people are into both the "Twilight" series and "Harry Potter." I know I'll end up seeing this movie at some point, because I have far too many friends who worship those books, but it doesn't look like a good translation of the book so far. And yes, I read the first one. Man card? Revoked.

News Item: Word has it that, in addition to B.J. Novak, Brad Pitt and Eli Roth joining the cast of Quentin Tarantino's long-gestating WWII epic "The Inglorious Bastards," Simon Pegg and Mike Myers are also on board.
What you need to know: This actually makes me think of the way films were made back in the 30s and 40s, where a couple marquee names would anchor a host of talented character actors. I've managed to resist the urge to read the leaked script online, but I've heard there are still a ton of parts to be cast, including the main villain. Plus, I mean, it's Quentin Tarantino. He's still the director that will draw an instant crowd for anything he puts out. And with a cast like this, "Bastards" might end up being the smash box-office hit that "Kill Bill" should've been.

News Item: In keeping with the mania surrounding (SPOILERS, not that it should matter by now) the death of Two-Face in "The Dark Knight" and who the villain in the theoretical third Christopher Nolan Batman film should be, a poster has circulated online touting the Riddler.
What you need to know: For one, Warner Bros. should be hiring this guy immediately. Even though this is a fake, it looks pretty awesome. Also, I'm torn, because the Riddler would work well within Nolan's universe, but he's always kind of been Batman's bitch. Given all the Mob subtext in the last two movies, I'd go with Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the Penguin. And then I'd kill Batman, but that's another blog for another time....

News Item: Early test screenings of the Megan Fox-starring, Diablo Cody-written horror film "Jennifer's Body" have indicated that the heralded nude scene involving Fox was nowhere to be seen.
What you need to know: I don't want to be a typical guy and say that this just took away my only reason for seeing this movie, but given that I didn't care for "Juno" very much, this pretty much just took away my only reason for seeing this movie.

News Item: Reports suggest that Lionsgate, after firing director Lexi Alexander upon her completion of the upcoming "Punisher: War Zone," want to trim it down for a PG-13 rating.
What you need to know: And here I was thinking that after "Iron Man" outgrossed "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Suck and Failure," combined with the massive success of "The Dark Knight," studios would learn to trust the target demographic of comic adaptations; in the case of the Punisher, people who like seeing Frank Castle fuck shit up. Silly me.

News Item: "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" has obtained only a 19% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and a 35% on Metacritic.
What you need to know: Just so you understand how terrible George Lucas' decisions have been lately, find the rejected Frank Darabont script for the fourth "Indiana Jones" movie online and read it. It'll make you hate what Lucas allowed to happen even more.

News Item: Tom Cruise's Nazi epic "Valkyrie" has been moved back into Oscar contention, by pushing the release date up from February 2009 to December 2008.
What you need to know: When he's not a national punchline, the man is talented. See: "Magnolia," "Vanilla Sky." For that matter, don't see: "Eyes Wide Shut." If this can bring him back from wherever he's gone, god bless.

News Item: Michael Phelps is poised to win his eighth Olympic gold medal tonight.
What you need to know: I'm aware that this is not movie news. At all. Maybe it'll be a movie someday, I don't know. Or maybe if "Aquaman" is made into a film, Phelps can play him. Point is, I had to give some love.

Review: Tropic Thunder

2008-08-14T12:14:00.005-05:00

I need to preface this review by making one statement: If you haven't watched the R-rated trailer for "Tropic Thunder" online, DON'T. While the all-audiences trailer and the commercials don't give away too much, the online trailer spoils some of the funniest scenes in the film. That being said, the summer's last big film is upon us, with a mountain of hype behind it, and the big question is, does "Tropic Thunder" hold up to all the buildup as a sort of fevered tent revival of studio comedy?

The answer is both yes and no. I hate to be so wishy-washy, but allow me to explain. The film's biggest strength and its greatest handicap lies within its central conceit: the idea that the only way to get a bunch of cliched actors (the waning action star, the perennial award-winner) to make a great war film is to stick them in an actual war zone. More importantly, writer-director-star Ben Stiller has taken aim at Hollywood itself, while making a film with a budget of $100 million within it. The best precedent to compare this idea to is Robert Altman's film "The Player," which was slammed upon its initial release for being too insular, too self-congratulating by the kind of people it was supposed to be a screed against. However, in the age of the Internet, more and more moviegoers are privy to every behind-the-scenes detail, and that's why a movie like this can exist: Everybody's now part of the big in-joke.

For as much as I've said about precedent, though, there is no real precedent for this movie. Good or bad, "Tropic Thunder" is unlike anything you've ever watched. It blends vicious satire with massive action setpieces, and throws in a surprisingly large amount of gore and some genuine plot twists for flavor. The film follows a cast of six men filming "Tropic Thunder," the most expensive war movie ever made. There is Tugg Speedman (Stiller), the action star whose attempt at an award-winning performance ("Simple Jack," the controversial-in-real-life story of a mentally handicapped farmhand) is critically lambasted, leaving him in need of a hit. There's also Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), an award-winner who gets so far into his performance that he has his skin dyed to play a black sergeant. The other "big name" is Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), a comedian known for playing multiple characters in fat suits and farting a lot. (Sound familiar?) The group is rounded out by rapper Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson), who has serious issues with Lazarus' Method acting, and Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel), the sanest of the bunch. When their director (Steve Coogan) drops them in the woods to shoot the film, everything goes terribly awry, and the actors find themselves fighting for survival.

The film's biggest issue lies within the fact that the jungle scenes with the actors are the best part, but it takes the movie nearly a half-hour to get there, and then there are frequent cutaways to the mainland, where the film isn't nearly as entertaining. The biggest disappointment has to be the non-secret cameo by a semi-unrecognizable Tom Cruise as the foulmouthed studio head. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I really didn't find him funny; anyone who's seen the phenomenal film "Magnolia" has already heard Cruise do the profane, against-type character, and better.

Speaking of minority, one of the film's most controversial plotlines concerns Downey Jr. doing what is, more or less, blackface. This isn't meant as mockery, though; he's parodying actors who take themselves way too seriously. I know that with any satire, people who aren't smart enough to understand this will get offended; these are the same people who took Kevin Smith's "Dogma" to be blasphemy and tried to kill him a decade ago. This being said, the movie belongs to Downey, without a doubt. The most memorable and priceless lines are almost all his, and every time he appears onscreen, the film picks up a notch. This is also a bit of a hit against the rest of the movie, though, because Downey Jr. is so good that some of the other actors' performances, passable in another movie, don't hold up as well here. In particular, Stiller seems to think that his action-movie-guy comes off as a lot funnier than he really does.

There are also plotlines involving heroin addiction, a Vietnamese cartel that starts taking hostages and a super-agent desperate to get Tivo for Speedman, in addition to a multitude of other celebrity cameos. For a film that's only 106 minutes long, there is a ton happening, and this is another weakness. Most of the time, before you can really appreciate a good joke, the film has already moved on to three more. There are sporadic moments of gut-busting hilarity, surrounded by a bit too much heavy-handed satire. If Stiller would have focused his script more on the actors, and didn't try to attack everything about Hollywood all at once, the film would have probably played better.

After watching "Tropic Thunder," I was reminded of another film from two years ago, "American Dreamz," a satire that virtually nobody saw in theaters or otherwise. Both films had genius premises, but collapsed under the weight of trying to live up to them. While "Thunder" is a better film, it is just a bit of a disappointment with respect to how funny it's been made out to be. However, don't let me dissuade you. The film is a must-see just for Robert Downey Jr.'s performance, and when the film nails a good joke, it's as hilarious as anything else that's come out this year.

Boba Fett. Doing 'Flashdance'.

2008-08-12T23:12:00.002-05:00

Is there any reason for this? No. It's amusing enough to share, though. Frankly, I'd rather watch this on a loop for two hours than sit through "The Clone Wars."

(And I promise, Thursday will bring a real post. And by real post, I mean my review of "Tropic Thunder.")

Zack and Miri teaser trailer

2008-08-11T23:59:00.002-05:00

Kevin Smith always seems to be on the ball, and his latest film Zack and Miri Make a Porno seems nothing less than fantastic. The premise: two friend who are short on cash decide to directa porno together. Hilarity ensues. The film is definitely able to make up for Jersey Girl, and reduce any sour taste Smith has left since then. Check out the teaser trailer, I promise you'll be cracking up by the end:

My 2 cents

2008-08-11T16:29:00.003-05:00

The movie Tropic Thunder has already garnered some controversy. (And not from the re-emergence of Black face as an art form either.)

Apparently, advocates for the disabled have said they will picket the movies premiere in Los Angeles. They are also encouraging others not buy tickets to see this film.

In TROPIC THUNDER, Ben Stiller plays a character called "Simple Jack" and as part of a subplot of the film is constantly being referred to as "RETARDED". This has some worried that people with learning disabilities will be offended by this picture.

{Representatives of the Special Olympics, the Arc of the United States, the National Down Syndrome Congress, the American Association of People with Disabilities and other groups met with studio executives last week to discuss the film, but DreamWorks did not make any changes.----YAHOO}

Ben Stiller, who also directed the picture, in my opinion is just trying to be entertaining. This is the guy who made Jim Carey scary in THE CABLE GUY. AND did bad impressions of celebrities on his canceled sketch comedy show. (Which I thought was funny at the time).

We (yeah me too) are all guilty of satirizing the limitations of others. Is this possibly the most offense film ever made? No. I have seen and heard of worse. But I have not seen the movie TROPIC THUNDER, yet. Do I want to? Well, yeah.

I can remember in the not so distance past a certain film in which Johnny Knoxville played a guy pretending to be (dare I used the word) DISABLED so he could win at the Special Olympics. I think it was called THE RINGER. Where were the committees and naysayers then, huh?

Look see the movie or don't see the movie. Put your money to better use or go have a look see at this film and hopefully (or not) enjoy.

This is not going to win any Oscars. This is not another BIRTH OF A NATION. This is not a call to arms or for alarm.

For the record, I am African American (who has been called retarded once or twice in childhood) and I approved this blog entry.

Joining the Trend of Armchair Box Office Prognostication

2008-08-10T21:57:00.002-05:00

So here we are. Week 4 of the summer belonging to "The Dark Knight," and it still has its hold on the number one weekend box office spot. We all knew it was going to make money, but this much money? To provide perspective, it currently has grossed about $441.5 million. Another twenty million, and it surpasses the original "Star Wars" as the second highest-grossing film of all time. However, in reality, it already has. See, the first "Star Wars" (or, Episode IV if you want to play THAT game) has been re-released twice since 1977, and its spot as the second highest-grossing film of all time is reflective of all three of its runs in theaters.

Also, everybody seems to be pissing and moaning about how if you account for inflation (!!!), "The Dark Knight" is nowhere near the highest grossing movie of all time. I say, shut up about that. Why? If we accounted for inflation, "Gone With The Wind" would be the highest-grossing film of all time, and there are few people who really want that, I would like to think. Seriously, that movie sucked. Call me callous, but I laughed my ass off when the little girl got her shit pushed by the horse.

So, where does that leave us in terms of modern-day money? Once TDK claims second place, all that's left is "Titanic," with $600 million even, domestically. The big question now is, can the most overrated movie of all time actually be defeated by a superhero movie? As sad as it makes me to say, I don't think so.

To wit: When released in late 1997, "Titanic" was number one for something like thirteen or fourteen weekends in a row. That's unheard of in this day and age, where tentpole movies come out nearly every week. Also consider that "Titanic" came out in December, and at the end of the month. That meant that during January, February and March, typically months of the year where nothing of value is newly released, there was no direct competition to stop it from making $30 million each weekend, week after week. "The Dark Knight" has done well, but there's been stiff competition, and odds are when "Tropic Thunder" comes out Wednesday, it won't hold yet another week.

Another factor is that there are still people who don't want to see "The Dark Knight." I was little when "Titanic" came out, but I distinctly remember that everyone and their brother had seen it. Personally, even at the time I didn't get it, I thought that "Twister," which came out earlier that year, was cooler, and to this day I stand by that opinion proudly. Regardless, "Titanic" had one distinct advantage that TDK lacks: the female demographic. Now, this is one of my favorite Hollywood misconceptions. Every executive seems to think that women don't see movies, and when a female-skewing movie makes bank, it shocks the shit out of everybody. I don't get that. Look at this summer alone: "Sex and the City" has made $150 million to date (and I've still been able to avoid it, knock on wood), and "Mamma Mia!" just broke the hundred-million mark this weekend. For further proof, look at "The Devil Wears Prada" and "The Notebook" in past summers. TDK hasn't cornered this demographic, and that might be the one Achilles heel that stops it from taking the record.

However, there is one glimmer of hope that few people have talked about as of yet. Traditionally, Oscar nominees, especially those up for Best Picture, are re-released if they've been out of theaters for some time. Now, in addition to the need for a Supporting Actor nod for Heath Ledger, and probably one for Best Original Screenplay as well, the clamor for a Best Picture nomination is getting louder. If this happens, "The Dark Knight" would return to theaters a few months after leaving them, which would probably lead to increased interest in an additional viewing for a lot of moviegoers. That would be the one trump card that might just push it over the edge. However, with $160 million to go, it's still a long shot.

(Final note: I realized I said before that I was done talking about TDK, but who the fuck am I kidding? I'm a fanboy, deep down. Just wait until March 6th, 2009. I'll never shut up at that point.)

Review: Pineapple Express

2008-08-08T14:19:00.003-05:00

Could this movie have been made even three years ago? Every time I saw the trailer, that's all I could think about. Well, that and the fact that "Paper Planes" is one of the best songs I've heard in years, but I digress. Break this down purely as a premise: A dedicated stoner and his drug dealer run afoul of the two warring local mobs, and go on the run, while continually smoking a lot of weed and engaging in action movie-level fights. I mean, this sounds like the premise for the third Harold and Kumar movie, but even so, I can't imagine this being pitched to a studio and selling.

But then, a funny thing happened: Judd Apatow became Hollywood's golden boy over the past year or so, churning out hit after hit (and "Walk Hard," which still wasn't that bad), and now, we have a major summer tentpole action movie starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, the latter of whom is best known as the second Green Goblin in the "Spider-Man" movies. Even stranger is the fact that this works, perfectly.

In its own way, "Pineapple Express" is at once a subversion of the traditional action movie formula, and a celebration of it. The final sequence is not only shockingly violent for a comedy (more on that in a minute), but wouldn't feel out of place in a Will Smith movie, circa 1998. Even before this, the madness includes a three-way brawl in an apartment, a car chase and a few other sequences that feel like they belong in a "Rush Hour" sequel, not a stoner movie.

That's the trick, though, and the reason this movie works: Most "stoner movies" are content to mine 12-year-old-skewing idiocy and the hilarity of watching stoners be stoned, and call it a film. The problem is, stoners being stoned are, as a standalone, not all that funny. The humor is purely situational, and that is why films like the "Harold and Kumar" movies and "The Big Lebowski" work so well; much like your average stoner, a little intelligence makes the whole thing a lot more interesting and entertaining.

The other major reason that this film works so well is James Franco. As Saul Silver, he is absolutely phenomenal. In a summer where marquee movies have yielded Oscar-caliber performances, Franco should at the very least be in the conversation for a Supporting Actor nod. He absolutely steals the film every time he appears onscreen, and might be the most dead-on movie stoner ever. The best example is a scene in which Saul is talking to Dale (Rogen), and when Dale tells him about his job as a process server, Saul just struggles to keep up, sporting a half-lidded gaze and picking random words like "moustache" and "disguise" out of the conversation, and eventually reaching the conclusion that Dale is a butler. Later, when Dale flips out at Saul for getting them into the mess they find themselves in, Franco's heartbreak is genuinely distressing. This is the kind of pathos usually reserved for heavier material, but like many of the other Apatow leads, Rogen and Franco don't limit themselves to a certain level of performance, just because this is "only" a comedy.

But then, is it, really? After watching the film, I couldn't figure out whether it was a really violent comedy or a really funny action movie. Most comedies, even action comedies, don't have a prominent supporting character taking a coffee pot to the face, or a main character suffering an injury that will remind some of the nastiest scene in "Resevoir Dogs." However, where some critics have cried foul regarding this abrupt jumping of tone, I think they're just having trouble accepting that the Apatow gang is branching out; if Quentin Tarantino had directed this movie (which, at a couple points, it seems like he could have), heavy-handed reviews would have examined the subtext drawn from juxtaposing violence with laughs. Thankfully, we'll be spared.

One final note: I'm sure that before long, people are going to raise a fuss about how this movie glorifies drug use. I disagree; it's about two people caught up in a mess they don't know how to deal with, and the fact that they smoke a lot of weed is just a part of their characters. Plus, let's face it: Between the anti-heroism of "Iron Man," the bleak, hopeless struggles of "The Dark Knight," this movie and next week's "Tropic Thunder" bringing back blackface, a lot of childhoods are already being ruined this summer. If anything, this might scare a few kids away from weed.