Gotham Knights

I'm a huge nerd. When my friend Cory texted me about Batman: Gotham Knights, I squealed like a pig in a trash heap. DC Comics is putting out six animated shorts by Japanese directors and American comic book writers (think Ani-Matrix) that supposedly tie together Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. I've only found the offical DC release plug for it on Batman On Film, but it's also on YouTube:

It looks pretty awesome. I'm pretty pumped. Scratch that, really pumped. There's some concept drawings of Batman done by the different artists on the video, as well as some drawings of the villians featured in the shorts. Scarecrow, Killer Croc, and Deadshot. Motherflippin' Deadshot. It should make for a good DVD. The graphic novelization of it comes out in April, while the actual DVD is projected for June. I found a picture of the graphic novel cover somewhere online, but now I can't find it. Honestly, I can't wait until June. Too much good stuff is coming out this summer.

DC vs. Marvel: The Battles Rages On (Part 1)

So, confession time. I'm a huge comic book nerd. Like, I have boxes of comics. I have superhero posters galore. I do enjoy Marvel comics, but my heart is for the man that is DC. And, because of that, I am SOOOO excited about the movies each body is putting out soon. Here's a quick blow by blow on who's working on what. And for those who don't know what I'm ranting about, I've provided many a link:

DC
The Dark Knight - Well, I think everyone knows about this film. Honestly, it looks so amazing right now. I like they way Christopher Nolan is taking the Batman franchise and asking, "What if Batman really did exist in our society?" I mean, we're not going to see people jumping around in spandex down Michigan. We would see something more urban, more gritty. These people wouldn't have access to crazy guns and tanks like in a cartoon. They would use what they could find or steal. There's no crazy Adam West Batman shit going on in Nolan's Batman. The Joker looks fantastic too. Kudos to Heath. I will forever love Jack's Joker, but it's nice to see what it would be like if the Joker's insanity tried to conquer Chicago/Gotham. And who could Anthony Michael Hall be? He's been paid up the butt to keep the secret. Maybe the Riddler? Not Robin. God, I want to see this movie now! Why must I wait!?

Justice League of America - I don't know. The way this film is shaping up, it looks pretty shitty. Nolan has already said he wants no involvement in this picture, which kind of worries me. And the casting for it has been pretty shitty. I don't think I could see anyone else playing Batman other than Christian Bale. And they're using the black Lantern!? Dude, everyone knows John Stewart sucks balls. I mean, they use him in the television series now too, but Hal Jordan people!!! He IS Green Lantern. Unless you're doing some Spectre tie-in with this shit, then don't use Stewart! And if they handle Doomsday in the same way they handled Galactus in Rise of the Silver Surfer, I think I might puke. I repeat, Galactus is not a cloud people! And why the hell is Talia al Ghul even in this movie? Why is George Miller directing this and not Brian Singer? Why is this movie going to suck so bad? The one upside though is that Superman is supposedly going to die in this one. Fuck yeah.

Wonder Woman - Despite the fact that IMDB says this is coming out in 2009, I doubt it. It's changed cast and crew so many times in the last year that it's unlikely that it'll be ever made. Which could be a good thing? I don't know, I was never a huge fan of Wonder Woman. She's kind of a bitch. She pretends she's all tough and as soon as Superman walks in a room she drops her pants. I think Black Canary's a way better female figure for comic books. Plus, her boobs are huge. Like seriously, they're epic. But back to Wonder Woman. I think Jessica Biel would play a good Wonder Woman. She was even rumored to have been playing her for a bit, but there's been no talk recently. She just has this look where she's strong but feminine at the same time. I mean, she's not super Greek, but that could be a good thing? And I wonder who the villain would be. Maybe the Cheetah and her def posse? I just don't know if that kind of villain could carry a movie.

The Flash - Supposedly to come out this year? Yeah right? I want it to though. I love the Flash. He's like the comic relief in the Justice League, other than Plastic Man. You've got the Batman/Superman rivalry that seems to flare up every time there's a problem. The sexual tension between Superman and Wonder Woman. The occasional lover's fight between Green Arrow and Black Canary. And then the Green Lantern Corp, well who knows when one might flip? The Flash always seems to stay neutral but witty. I think Ryan Reynolds would be perfect as the Flash. He's funny in the same type of humor that the Flash has, but also can pull it together in a tight situation. According with one IMDB plot synopsis, the Flash is going to have to deal with Hal Jordan going ape shit. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!? My friend and I always had this conversation over who would win in a fight, Hal Jordan or the Flash? If the Flash was on his A-game, he could probably win. Just throw his yellow shoe right at Jordan and it would be a no-contest. But Jordan has the most powerful weapon in the galaxy...we'll see. I hope it gets made.

Ronin - There isn't a lot of information about this movie yet, but it will certainly be made. Frank Miller's shit is hot right now. At first Daren Aronofsky was rumored to have been making this, though now I guess the guy who did Stomp the Yard is going to? What? That's like saying, "Well I could have this filet mignon but I think I'll pick McDonald's instead." The story in the graphic novel is so complexed that I think it would take a fantastic storyteller like Aronofsky to properly do it. And after seeing The Fountain, I know he can make a visually stunning movie on next to nothing, something that Ronin might have to face.

Watchmen - I'm scared of this movie for several reasons. One, Alan Moore. His work is so amazing, but so often fucked up. I wrote a whole article about this a while back, but I'll repeat. He's written From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Constantine, and V for Vendetta. Now there's a special place in my heart for all these films but let's face it, they suck. Especially when compared to the graphic novels. Moore has a complex way of storytelling just like Miller. Well, even more so than Miller. I just don't want to see this one get messed up. And (here's reason two) the only reason I see it getting fucked up is because of Zac Snyder. One word: 300. Made a lot of cash, but sucked. The cast is pretty good however. And the pictures of the sets look straight out of the comic book. So I hope it turns out well. Oh God I hope so.

Sin City 2 - As long as Clive Owen comes back and Robert and Quentin keep doing what they're doing, then it's all good. I'm glad most of the cast has come back though. I like consistency in a series like this. Seeing someone play a character that's already been introduced by another actor is just weird.

More comic book rantings about the Marvel side in Part 2.

The End is the Beginning is the End...and then the beginning again

So I'm excited. Why do you ask? Well I hope you assumed I was going to tell you. Because that would be mean if I didn't. I hate it when people start a sentence and you need to know how it ends and then they stop and change the subject. I will never experience blue balls (fingers crossed), but I can guess it would be like hearing somewhat say, "Guess what?" followed by "Nevermind."

But yes, I'm excited because this is the new blog! I'm sure no one read Robot Ninjas. And that's ok. This is like the hotter, more intelligent cousin of Robot Ninjas. Livewire. It's been a couple months in the making but now it's here and I'm pumped. Especially since I have the incredible Craig Dickey writing by my side. I have a feeling this blog will be better, happier, more productive...well, you know how the rest goes.

All exciting news aside, I've been thinking. Actually, I starting thinking about this after I talked to my friend Big Jon about comic books. But when I look at film adaptations and the original work, I realize that Alan Moore always gets screwed over when it comes to his work transferring to the screen. For those who don't know, Alan Moore's a fantastic graphic novelist whose work has appeared in the films V for Vendetta, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Constantine (partially. Alan Moore created the character John Constantine in the Vertigo series "Swamp Thing."), and From Hell. Now just look at those four films there. How good were they? Really? If anyone thought they were good, go read the original Alan Moore novel. Because I assure you, it's ten times better. No, twenty times. I mean, I thought V for Vendetta was good but I recently read the graphic novel and was blown away. Alan Moore has such a creative mind and his storytelling is so innovative. He's doing something that mainstream fiction writers dream of doing.

So why is it so hard to translate his ideas to the screen? I read an article where they interviewed Moore and talked about his work being translated to film. I love what he said about the V for Vendetta script:

"It was imbecilic; it had plot holes you couldn't have got away with in Whizzer And Chips in the nineteen sixties. Plot holes no one had noticed."

What Moore found most laughable however were the details. "They don't know what British people have for breakfast, they couldn't be bothered. 'Eggy in a basket' apparently. Now the US have 'eggs in a basket,' whish is fried bread with a fried egg in a hole in the middle. I guess they thought we must eat that as well, and thought 'eggy in a basket' was a quaint and Olde Worlde version. And they decided that the British postal service is called Fedco. They'll have thought something like, 'well, what's a British version of FedEx... how about FedCo? A friend of mine had to point out to them that the Fed, in FedEx comes from 'Federal Express.' America is a federal republic, Britain is not."

When you read the graphic novel, it really does become evident how much they cut out. The book is intricate. You're not always following Eve. You follow V, the inspector, members of the Finger. It's so elaborate. You see how this neo-British society is affected on all sides. The film is very cut and dry. There's just a straight viewpoint. And I know what people are thinking. "How can you make an elaborate story fit into a two-hour movie?" Look at the Harry Potter franchise...well, some of it. How about Guillermo del Toro's contribution? That movie is fantastic. And that book is fucking long. So yeah, duh, things were cut out. Did I notice? Not until I really thought about it. But when I watch Constantine and see that not only is he American, he doesn't wear a tan trenchcoat, and he doesn't swear as much, I cringe. When I see at the end of the movie he stops smoking, I break shit. Constantine doesn't ever stop smoking. Ever. He got fucking lung cancer, which through a series of amazing tricks and turns was made immortal basically. And he still smokes. He knows no one can do anything to him. Oh, and p.s., the real Constantine would have so tapped that Rachel Weisz ass. He had sex with a lesbian. Enough said, he is a pimp.

But enough about Constantine. Moore doesn't even write Constantine any more. But seriously, go read Alan Moore's versions of these films and you see what I'm talking about (although I myself haven't read all of From Hell yet). It's darker, wittier, sexier...um, more positive adjectives and such. And if you're turned off by the whole "It's a comic book" thing, don't be. The illustrations are fantastic. Plus, dude, the Japanese read graphic novels all the time. And the Japanese are cool. Therefore, if p then q, you will be cool if you read graphic novels.