SOUTHLAND TALES

I doubt that I can write a review that will do this film justice. But, I will try.

Imagine if you will with me: What if you have two people who are exactly the same? So much so that they are the same soul walking the same earth. Now what if these two entities were to shake hands?

Well, that would be the end of the fourth dimension and the world as we know it.

I am not kidding. Not since Donnie Darko has my mind been so thoroughly warped by a movie.

SOUTHLAND TALES stars Dwayne "Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar (as a porn star), Shawn William Scott (as the 4th dimensional anomaly) and also has Zelda Rubenstein, Kevin Smith, Will Sasso, Sheri Oteri, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore and Bai Ling, etc. In a story set in 2008 and narrated by Justin Timberlake.

Yall with me so far?

Ok, it is the eve of a major election just after the beginning of World War 3, the internet is monitored, filtered and policed by the government to the point of 1983 proportions and forces have aligned themselves to fix the election. But until the end, it is hard to tell which forces are doing what. And it is also 3 days until the world ends.

Well, the story centers around action film star Boxer Santaros (Johnson) who has apparently lost his memory. Who doesn't know who he is and doesn't remember his wife (a senators daughter played by Mandy Moore) or anything about his life.

He is found by Sarah Michelle Gellar's character Krista Now who seeemingly falls in love with him while using him to further her career. She holds him up in a Malibu beach front condo where they have written a screen play together.

The screenplay is a mute plot device kinda like this review is a mute and futile attempt at explaining a picture that went a thousand miles over my head at times.

Like the film Magnolia, all of these charaters are connected, and all them seem to act for the benefit of themselves.

The story was weak at some points, but the acting was solid in most cases.

The big revelation at the end should shock some and piss off others. At this time, I don't know what it is that I am.

I should have taken notes or something.

So how does the world end? Not with a whimper, but with a bang.