The Elusive B-Buster

It's September. School is starting. Yay! I never thought I would say that about college in high school, but seriously. I go to film school. I listen to lecture for up to an hour and then watch a movie. I have no right to complain. Fall's coming, which is awesome because I've had enough of this bi-polar Chicago summer weather. But September's also the end of the summer blockbuster season.

Thank fucking God. The best movie I saw this summer was Superbad. Granted, I didn't see every movie that came out. That's nearly impossible on my finances. But if you want to send me money to do it, I'll gladly oblige. But every single movie I saw was such a huge disappointment. Usually when I go see a movie during the summer, I mentally prepare myself for a different mindset. Summer is not time for the Oscar-caliber film. It's warm outside, every one's looking for a good time. The majority of people don't want to go to the movies to sit and think. I prepare myself to be entertained above all. But I wasn't even entertained for the most part. I just sat there and squirmed, waiting for the films to end.

Some of these galactic disappointments included:

• Hot Rod - Really Andy Samberg? Really? Did this movie have to exist? I want that era back where SNL affiliates put out good movies. Like Wayne's World. Why can't we have another Wayne's World? That movie was so good! Hot Rod was just playing off the flash popularity of The Lonely Island. Which I mean, is well deserved. Lonely Island is funny. But that's just it. It's funny in the media it's presented in -- short, five minute webisodes where Jorma, Akiva, and Andy be the Jewish funnymen they are. The movie just seemed like they came up with a bunch of funny things that could be webisodes and strung them together with a weak plot. And added a hot Isla Fisher.
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - I love Harry Potter. I consider dropping out of college and finding Hogwarts quite frequently. Actually, that's really sad. But yeah, the movie was just....bland? That sounds so art school, but it was. I felt like the director was like, "Well, you know the last two movies were so good, I can just do a mediocre job and not really add anything to the franchise and get away with it." Plus, since I read the book, I was kind of taken aback with how much they cut out. I understand they have to cut out a lot of stuff because, you know, the book's as big as the Bible. But the stuff they cut or changed were kind of crucial. It just made for a bland experience.
• The Ten - Every time I saw this preview, I laughed. It looks hilarious. And it is...kind of. Some parts are. But it just kind of dragged. And there were a lot of parts of empty air between those laughs. I like the concept. Ten films about the Ten Commandments. But it felt like they were going for dick and fart jokes. Which, hey, I am not offended by. I like dick and fart jokes. I laughed at most of them. Because I'm immature like that. But when you're marketing a movie like this to the indie/adult audience, dick and fart jokes won't always cut it. That's why I liked Stella so much. The rhetoric was so well planned out that you couldn't help but laugh. This film, not so much.

So yeah, there are many more but I don't want to go on and on about it. Go watch Superbad. It was super fantastic.