Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ten Reasons Why You Need To Rent "Tremors"

1. Kevin Bacon has a near-mullet. Not quite a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet, as there are government warning plans designed to go into action as soon as such a mullet exists again, but impressive nonetheless.

2. The movie does for the ground what "Jaws" does for water. With the upcoming film "The Ruins" featuring murderous foliage, we now only need a movie about killer air to render the population terrified of all the elements.

3. Big worms killing people is fun. Big worms being shot with elephant guns is potentially more fun than sex.

4. Reba McEntire plays one half of a couple that owns more guns than Charlton Heston. Somewhere, the NRA smiles.

5. Midway through the film, there is an inexplicable pole vaulting montage, which begins with the token hot chick declaring "Y'ALLKNOWHOWTAPOLEVALT!?!?!"

6. A little girl's pogo stick gets eaten, only to be thrown back up, because apparently, even gigantic killer earthworms do not approve of the 1980s and its trends.

7. Kevin Bacon, after causing a giant worm to break its own skull on concrete, declares "Fuck you!" with what might be the greatest inflection in cinematic history.

8. The evil worm in the poster/on the DVD cover and the actual worms in the movie are two entirely different types of evil worms.

9. The townspeople fling dynamite at the worm. The worm flings it back. Most. Badass. Hot Potato Game. Ever.

10. If you don't see this, your "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" skills will be sorely lacking, and frankly, that's just unacceptable.

5 comments:

Amy D. said...

I've never had a desire to watch Tremors, but after this list, I totally do. Amazing.

RAGE said...

Tremors is a great movie. I still have fun watching it.

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